Pity Party of One

I notice that I have gained about 5 pounds lately.  Now, I just lost my dog, so I could certainly blame the gain on mourning.  To me that is a cop out.  I am a weight loss coach, I know better.  So, sitting here with a blank page before me, I decided it is time to forgive.

I really wanted this summer to be fantastic.  Instead, it totally sucked.  I took a class that would change my life, but it was stressful and overwhelming.  The work was completely different than what I knew before, therefore I had to change everything about how I worked with clients.  That is SO hard.  Then I had a series of family issues.  Some sad, some horrifying, some frustrating.  These issues are still going on, and I need to get comfortable with them.

The stress of the summer gave me shingles.  Not fun at all.  Then there is the West Nile situation.  I am scared to be outside for more than a few minutes.  Oh, I turned 50!  Wanted to be so excited about it, but so far, phooey!  The final smack in my face, my dog had to be put down last week. I am exhausted.  I think I am cursed and I need to have some sort of exorcism.

Well today I am saying enough!  Whatever funky cloud I have been under needs to go away.  No more the victim.  I don't want to feel bad, in pain, anger, or fat.  Back to juicing.  I have been exercising a lot, but I will focus more.  I will forgive myself and those around me.  I will start laughing more and worrying less.  I will get my final certification for coaching.  I will move mountains in my life so others can move mountains in theirs.

Have you had a crummy summer?  Want to join me in a Spectacular Fall?

She's Gone

Yesterday, our 14+ year old Labrador, Cinderella, passed away.  My heart is broken.  She was a wonderful dog.  She came into my life 8 years ago.  When I was dating my now husband, she greeted me at the door, the first time I came to his house.  She had a tail that turned circles and the tail started spinning when he opened the door.  He warned me that she would bark at me as she does that to everyone.  Cyndi didn't bark.  All the kids seemed shocked that she remained silent.  I patted her on the head and a relationship was born.

Cyndi was a unique dog.  Along with the helicopter tail, she would smile at you whenever you came through the door.  It was hilarious!  It almost looked as though she was baring her teeth, except it would totally slide into a smile.  She had a really scary bark too.  I always felt safe when it was just the two of us.  She could even catch flies!  So cool.  Over the years she became my best friend.  She knew all my secrets and still loved me.  When I walked through the door, she always acted like I was the most important person in the world.  The tail would circle and the smile would be there.

We had to put her down due to her developing cancer.  The last few months she had become my full time job.  She needed to be walked several times in the middle of the night and needed a lot of attention during the day.  I know we made the right decision, but it still hurts.  We were there holding her when she slipped away.  I cried like a baby.  This morning, I jumped out of bed and proceeded to go and get Cyndi's meds as I usually do.  Then I remembered. 

I thought her passing would be an excuse to stuff my face and eat away the pain.  So far, so good.  I went and exercised this morning and have pretty much stayed true to my normal eating patterns.  Everyday I learn more about myself and how I handle things that life throws at me.  I continue to move forward.