Shopping Like a Fat Girl

I love to shop!  If I could, I would make it a career.  Walking through stores and smelling the new clothes, seeing how they display them, and seeing what flies off the shelves gives me a thrill.  I adore it when I find a solution to a problem.  It is fun to see the newest thing.  The cream that will make you look younger.  The jeans that will make you skinny.  I love it when I get together with my girlfriends and we all tell of the newest thing each of us have seen.    My problem is that when shopping for myself, I tend to buy the first thing I see, instead of being more picky.

I believe this comes from my pre-band, fat past.  When I was big, there wasn't a huge selection at the stores.  If I found something that fit and didn't look totally awful, I would get one in every color.  Now I can afford to be picky.  I have lots of choices in clothing, but I still operate with the former fat girl attitude.

I do not need grab the first thing because it fits.  Go for getting something because it makes me look fantastic!  Less clothing with more substance.  One perfect pair of black pants instead of 10 pairs of black pants that just look ok.  I need to make sure I take everything I buy to my tailor to make it fit my 5'1" frame. 

Lots of us when we lose enough weight to be in regular clothing, kind of go crazy with the shopping.  We buy entire wardrobes of size 14 clothes, when we are only going to lose more weight.  Since we "settled" for so long, we tend to forget that a tailor can do wonders with fit.  A tailor can help you transition through sizes during yoru weight loss.  We also tend to buy some age inappropriate clothing.  I did it when I got to goal too.  It is great that you can wear a size 6, but at 55 years old, you do not need to wear a halter top and mini skirt.  Just sayin...

So, what do I want you to take away from this little rant?  First of all, don't buy out the store because you can fit into it.  Go for quality over quantity.  Dress for your age.  Finally, when you go shopping, take me with you!  Let me live vicariously through you!

America is getting Fatter!

I am so sorry I have not been good at blogging.  I promise to be better. 

I recently returned from a trip to Italy and France and I learned so much!  My husband and I were on an American ship for the first part of our trip.  The servings were huge and if you wanted more, there was always more.  If you wanted potato chips at 4am, they were brought to the room.  My lapband did alot of work during this trip and thank God it was there or I would have gained.  My husband, Nick, did gain!

Then we went to France.  Our first night in Paris, we went to visit Nick's cousins.  They had us out for dinner.  We were served off of smaller than dinner but larger than salad plates.  I have come to learn that they are called luncheon plates.  The plate was smaller and therefore, the portions were smaller.

We then got on a barge.  This was a french ship.  The meals we had were wonderful!  We were served smaller portions and in courses.  The portions were 3oz of protein with about a half cup of vegetables and about 2 tablespoons of a starch.  A salad was served with a cheese course.  At lunch and dinner, we were served a presentation of 3 cheeses as well.  Again the portions were small.  In the US, the cheese presentations would have included 3 hunks of cheese.  In France,  we were given a taste of the 3 cheeses.  About two bites worth.  Nick actually lost weight on this part of the trip.  There was never one minute that he complained that he was hungry and not getting enough food.  Since the food came in courses, there really wasn't time to ask for seconds.

So, what did I learn on this trip?  America is getting fatter.  Our plate sizes are huge!  It use to be 12 inches, but now most plates are 13 inches.  I promptly looked up luncheon sized plates on Amazon.com and ordered some.  Nick and I have agreed to eat off these plates when we are not entertaining.  I am also going to start to serve in courses.  It sounds difficult, but if it keeps us eating smaller amounts, I am all for it.  French people are thin and healthy.  I believe it is due to the smaller amounts and the courses.

Stay tuned and I will keep you updated on how our little experiment is working.

The Meantime

There are several times in my life that I have been in the "meantime".  The meantime is when you have finished a chapter in life and are waiting for the next chapter to start.  Does this sound familiar to you?  I read the book, "In The  Meantime" by Ivana Van Zandt years ago when I was waiting for my husband to enter my life. 

Currently, I am in the meantime in some areas of my life.  In other areas, I am in the thick of it and it allows the "meantime" parts to be OK.  My beautiful step daughter is getting married and I am in the midst of wedding planning.  I am busy! 

Everyone who is in the midst of losing weight right now is in the "meantime".  Compare it to having all your clothes be too big, but not wanting to buy a nice new wardrobe because you are not close to your goal.  Leave it to me to make a clothing reference! 

Sometimes it would drive me crazy being in the "meantime"!  You feel like you are in the starting gate, ready to burst forward, but you have to wait.    Argh! 

How do you get through this time with your sanity in tact?  Get busy!  Pick up a craft,  start cleaning out your closet and eventually every room in the house, or better yet-exercise.  Find something positive and healthy to focus on and DO IT!

Learn french, go back to school, do all the things you have been meaning to but haven't had a chance.  You have the time now!  You are spending less time in the grocery store and cooking.  Get out there and add something to your life!

The "meantime" will end.  You will get to your goal and if you make good use of your time, you will not only be healthier, but better all around.  What are you going to do while you are in your weight loss "meantime"?

DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?

A patient asked me yesterday, what is the biggest adjustment one has to make with the Band or Sleeve?
I answered, "You have to plan".

I currently have my band tight enough to lose weight.  When the band is tight, you need to be sure that you are getting enough protein and plenty of water.  You have to plan for that.  You cannot chug a gallon of water to make up for not drinking any liquids all day.  You have to plan to space your protein out at intervals and not eat a side of a cow in one sitting. 

Even with a sleeve, you have to make plans.  Small amounts is all you can take in.  If you eat too much, you will feel queasy and may even spit up.  Going slow and chewing well are very important with either procedure.  If you wait to eat until you are very hungry, you may eat too quickly and get an air bubble trapped in there or not chew your food well.

I hate to exercise!  If I don't have some sort of plan, I will find any excuse to avoid working out.  I have to think about what I am doing.  Remember, your body works on predictive behavior.  It wants to store energy.  Your job is to get it to expend  energy.  Therefore, one needs to switch it up.  Don't do the same thing all the time.  Trick your body into working harder for you and then you don't have to work out as much!

Any weight loss surgery is a commitment, but you need to make some adjustments.  I make a plan and stick to it.  I might have lunch plans or I might have a busy schedule and no time for lunch.  When I am busy, I need to take a protein bar with me or maybe bring some turkey and cheese roll ups to cover lunch.  I don't need to be too hungry and I don't need to look for options at Walgreens or 7-11.

So I plan.  I think of my day or what is coming up for me and I adjust accordingly.  So, if you are thinking about weight loss surgery, do you have a plan?

CHA CHA CHA CHANGES!

Change is good.  At least that is what I keep telling myself.  So many things seem to be happening all at once that my head is spinning.  I keep thinking that I need to step away and take a breath, but there is never any time.  Some changes seem to be for good and others, well, lets just call them learning experiences.

Change is stressful.  How does one handle stress?  Many people eat ice cream and sweets, others drink alcohol, and even others may find comfort in "comfort foods".  A few people may find themselves turning to some sort of pills.  Lately I have not been sleeping well.  I also have injured myself while working out and cannot do a normal workout.  I am frustrated!

I am trying to think of healthy things I can do to alleviate stress.  Exercising is out for the moment as I need to rehab my various injuries.  Reading isn't helping.  I spend so much time worrying about my future.  A friend of mine told me that whatever is going to ahppen, will happen.  She is right.  I can't control what other people do, but I can control what I do.

I need to think of my future and the choices I have available to me.  No more worrying about the things I have no control over.  Concentrate on relaxing when not working and trying to get more sleep.  I am open to any suggestions on how to handle change and stress.  Thoughts?

Blowing Some Steam

My husband calls me 'sensitive'.  I hate that word.  The moment he says 'sensitive' to me, I can guarantee we will have an animated 'discussion'.  OK, so I get a bit sensitive when people are ugly to me.  I also am very sensitive to what people are feeling (I view that as a good thing) and can correctly choose the right way to proceed in order to spare their feelings.  So, my sensitivity has good and bad features.  Regardless, I am known as the designated family crier, as anything that is sad, sweet, exciting, et al. can cause me to well up with tears.  My niece is getting married this July, break out the tissues!

Today, I figured out that at times I am not being sensitive enough in some situations.  Whereas in my home life, I can become weepy at the drop of a hat, in my work life, I seem to be a bit hardened.  Fancy that!  I like the people I work with and I adore my patients.  I feel that it is an honor that they have selected my company and myself to help them through this process.

What drive me nuts is when they no show for appointments.  I don't mind if you cancel.  Life happens and things come up, but don't make me track you down to find out that you forgot.  I have no patience for that.  If you expect me to be here to help you, the least you can do is show up!
Sheesh!  OK stepping down off of the soapbox.  Better now.

Today I am just "over it"!  I am tired of the heat (way too soon to be saying that), tired of the traffic, tired of work, tired of exercising, tired of watching what I eat, etc.  All I want to do is float in my blow up pool and read.

The reality check is that I cannot float and read all the time because I would be bored after the first day.  I would feel like I needed to be doing something.  My husband says I never just give myself permission to do nothing.  I admire that he can shut off the day and just watch some mindless movie.  Me?  I must be DOING something while watching TV.  Pay bills, run through my endless stream of magazines, clean something.

With all the things I keep doing, you would think I kept a nice, neat and tidy house.  No.  It looks like most people's houses.  Well, the ones who don't have Mighty Maids on speed dial.  It isn't  ready for "Hoarders" either.  Just "cleanish".

This past weekend, I had a neighbor who loves to organize come over and help me clean out the art closet.  She has had surgery and I am trying to keep her busy with things that won't have her lifting.  I only allowed her to point and direct.  I did all the moving of crap.  It looks wonderful and I was exhausted after all the work.  This Saturday we are doing my closet.  I am terrified!  She will be ruthless.  I won't have any clothes left! 

I guess I am delivering this random stream of consciousness with a purpose.  I plan on giving myself permission to do nothing one evening in the next week.   What do you need to give yourself permission to do?

MOTIVATION

What motivates you to lose weight?  Better health?  That short skirt hanging in the closet?  An upcoming event?
My sister and I have been on the "Bridal Diet".  Now this is no specific diet, but it is one that has motivated both of us to lose about 15 pounds a piece.  We both are shooting for at least 5 more pounds.  We are motivated because her daughter is getting married this July and we want to look good in the pictures.  Even our husbands have jumped in on the dieting.  We all are working out like crazy and trying to drink less and eat better.  It hasn't been too hard because we all have a common goal.  I must say I do have an advantage over them by having the LapBand, but I don't have it so tight that I can't eat anything, just small portions.
It is funny how weight can creep up on you.  We have all been complacent about our weight for quite awhile, but once my niece was engaged, we decided we were all too heavy.  Even banded, I had let a few pounds slide on.  Granted, I had Mono last year and that threw me backwards, but I should have started paying attention to the pounds that had jumped on, long before March of this year.  It feels good to be back into all my clothes.  I am sleeping better!  My husband isn't snoring as much!  It is a positive all around!  Maybe not a complete positive, my pants are getting too loose and I believe that there is shopping in my future.  Husband isn't too happy about that!  My sister is looking fantastic!  She did some shopping and looks fabulous in her new dresses.  She will do well as the Mother of the Bride.
So, what will happen when the wedding is over?  How will we all stay motivated to continue on and either lose a few more pounds or maintain our new healthier status?  What motivates you to keep going?  I am open to all suggestions.

I HATE MAY!

I don't really hate May, but it is always so crazy!  Everyone is busy!  Kids are doing their final recitals, final events, end of year exams, etc.  There are graduations all over the place!  There are so many things going on, that it becomes easier to pick up dinner from the drive through greasy spoon down the street.

It is so hard to stay focused on weight loss.  Who has time to plan?  Too busy to drink enough water.  Working out...are you kidding?  Too busy driving everyone to their events!  Sound familiar? 

It is a busy month, but not too busy to stay healthy.  All it takes is a little planning. While you are waiting for whatever event to begin, take out pen and paper and plan your meals.  Every morning, throw a water bottle in your purse.  On Saturday or Sunday, make some chicken breasts or several cassaroles and freeze them for use during the week.  Find time to workout.  I know it is a pain, but we all have to do it!  Just suck it up and go for it. 

Hang in there, June is right around the corner!

Where Did I Go?

Sorry I haven't been around.  Life got really busy and I have done nothing but work and sleep lately.  I am a full fledged member of the "No Fun" Club.  Things seem to be slowing down a bit, so I can get back to paying attention to blogging and other support/aftercare types of things.

During this crazy time, I decided to get a fill and try to drop some weight for an upcoming family wedding in July.  Some of you are probably wondering why I needed a fill.  I am up a few pounds from last year's mono.  They took out some fluid and I never got it back.  So, time to drop about 20 pounds in order to look good in all my clothes.  The fill went well and I obeyed my surgeon's post fill rules.

I don't eat much right now.  I am glad I have been so busy because I have passed through the phase where I would be looking for food.  When you are working through your lunch, you don't have time to be naughty.  I did plan.  I brought protein bars with me so there would be no temptation to go and buy milkshakes or fast food.  I am not hungry.  Small portions work just fine for me and I have been able to get in my water.  By the way, I tried that new water enhancer called MIO.  It is good!  The berry/pomergranite is my favorite, but the tropical punch is good too.

The good news:  I am down 10 pounds in a month!  WAHOO!  I should be able to make my goal by the July Wedding. 

The point: I have had my band for 12 years.  It hasn't stopped working and I know that as long as I follow the rules, I will ALWAYS be successful!

Another Check on my Bucket List

My husband and I decided to take a little winter break and go to Santa Fe.  Actually, my husband has not gone skiing in about 12 years and he wanted to go again.  I have never been on skis.  EVER.  So we go.  He is so excited!  The first day he insists on driving up the mountain just to "check it out".  I get winded walking up the stairs to the rental shop.  Since I work out quite a bit, I got a little nervous.  Of course, the air is thinner, up the mountain.  We head back into town and have a lovely dinner.  Walked back to the hotel in -8 degree weather.

The next day, we get up, have a big breakfast and get dressed in all our ski gear.  We head up the mountain.  I get my boots (very heavy-but figured I was burning lots of calories), skis and poles.  I headed to the Never Ever class.  Nick joined it too, to be supportive.  My first teacher was Ben.  Nice guy, but a ski bum.  He took us up to the bunny slope and got on the "magic carpet".  This was a conveyor belt that took you up the little slope.  The Magic Carpet was my favorite thing!

Went up and down, using my poles and trying not to fall.  My husband was way too advanced, but cheered me on.  We had a 15 minute lunch break.  This is not good for being banded.  The no eating and drinking rule always applies.  I had a hot dog (no bun) and 1 slurp of water. 

Nick got moved up to the advanced class.  I was sent back to the bunny slope with a new teacher, Bob.  Bob doesn't like poles.  Bob made me give up my poles.  I didn't like Bob.  He made me go down the slope, without the poles!!!  I did better.  Okay, so maybe Bob was a good teacher.  Up on the magic carpet and down the slope, over and over and over.  When I let go, I was pretty good.  I fell a few times, but I am short, so it isn't far to go!  I have a problem stopping.  No very good at the snowplow. 

The end of the lesson came (finally!) and we had to go down the bigger slope.  Nick had finished his lesson and was watching.  I did fine on the bump.  Turned my skis perfectly.  Nick was so proud.  Then I had to get in traffic.  I got scared and couldn't stop.  I was trying to snowplow as hard as I could and I seemed to be going FASTER!   I was going to take out a group of people by the lifts.  So I fell.  Nothing broken, but muscles pulled.  I chose not to ski the rest of our vacation. 

YOU'RE SO VAIN!

I fell last Friday night.  On my face!
I was walking our dog and tripped.  Dog went one way and I went the other, I stopped my fall with my face.  I was able to hit redial on my phone and call my husband.  I screamed for him to grab a towel and come get me.  My fabulous dog stayed by my side and started barking when Nick came running out the door.  She got an extra treat the next day.

There was blood everywhere!  The right side of my face looked like I had been drug across the street.  My lip swelled to larger than Angelina's.  We thought that my nose might have been broken.  Argh.  We cleaned everything up and I decided that I wouldn't be leaving the house for the rest of the weekend.  When my stepdaughter saw me, she winced and said it was hard to look at me (Insert joke here).  The worst part of this accident is that my husband and I go to one dinner dance a year.  That party is Friday.

Once Monday came, I had to go public with my face.  First of all, I am very lucky, nothing permanently harmed or broken.  All should eventually go back to the way it used to be.  I discovered 3 things from this experience.

1.  Falling on your face hurts!  A lot!  Sneezing is not fun when your face is messed up.

2.  Oh my gosh, I am SO vain!  I have spent so much time in the mirror and trying to care for the cuts and bruises.  Every bump has been examined.  Creams and elixers have been tested.  Lots of tears too.

3.  The looks people gave me when they first saw me were similar to the ones I got when I was at my highest weight.  People gasped!  These are not my friends or family, but strangers.  The insecurity that I felt when I was over 300 pounds came screaming back.  I did not want to see patients this week.  I didn't want to go anywhere.  I hated the "I am trying to act like this doesn't freak me out, yet it really does" looks from people I didn't know.

I was going to write this on Monday, but at the time I didn't know that I would be healing so quickly.  My nose still hurts and there is lots of pink new skin on my face with bruising, but I am better.  There is a huge difference in my looks from last Saturday to today.  I  have a party to go to tonight.  I am taking a deep breath and am planning to have fun.  Bruises and all.

THE FAMILY MOTTO

We have a running joke in my family.  The Jones family motto is: "If a little is good, then a lot is better."  This pertains to EVERYTHING!  If one tube of toothpaste is good, buy multiples and then you don't have to go back to the store as often.  If one sweater looks good on you, get one in every color!  If one roll is yummy, have as many as you can stuff into your mouth!

This is an expensive motto in every way shape and form.  My mother told me just last week, that she is on her last bar of soap from my father's stockpile.  My father passed away in 2003.  We are not hoarders in any sense of the word, though my husband might argue that point, we just want to make sure we do not run out of the things we love.  I would call us pre-hoarders.  Currently, I limit the products to buying a shower gel to store in the cupboard, the moment the last one goes into the shower.  When the kids were home full time, I made it two, as things would often disappear and I hate showering with my shampoo!

When it comes to clothes, I am the same way.  I go to the Gap and if I find a t-shirt I adore, I get one in every color.  I know I won't wear them all, some colors don't look good on me, but I will buy it, just in case.  Crazy thinking huh?  Well the Salvation Army loves me for my donations of never worn clothing!  Right now I am trying to amass a Tory Burch cardigan sweater collection, but they are expensive and I must limit my collecting to sweaters that are on sale.  Let me know if you see one!

The family motto as it relates to food.  Hmmmm.  Pre-Lapband, it was a mess!  A little is good and alot is more shopping for bigger sized clothes!  Seconds on everything!  Holidays were the worst.  Lots of favorite dishes are only made during the holidays.  Must eat as much as possible as it won't be back for a year!  Pants get tighter, etc.  My sister always says, "Lets not stop eating." A whirlwind of cakes, cookies, candy, creamy dishes, yum!  Then January hits.  We all are remorseful and we pledge to lose weight.

Post Lapband, it is much better.  During most of my banded holidays, I have lost weight.  I have had to learn that I can leave food on my plate and that is ok.  I use to think that I needed to take it home and eat it.  Now I know that I don't have to do that.  I actually lost 2.5 pounds over the holidays this year!  While there are loads of people going to the gym as part of their resolutions, I never stopped.  I knew that if I took some time off, I would have gained. 

What is your family motto?  Is it a healthy one?  Is it similar to my motto?  Perhaps, I need to change our motto to a more positive one.  All I have to do is shorten it.  Instead of "If a little is good, then a lot is better," it can be "Little is good!"