Change and Fear Go Hand in Hand

My LapBand is making me sick.  It needs to come out of my body.  That means surgery.  Dang!  I am not the type of person who likes to resort to surgery on a whim.  I have thought this out since I got Pneumonia at Thanksgiving.  I also added 15 pounds since the fluid was removed from my band.  I looked over my journal from 2014 and noticed I had been sick with fever 3 additional times.  It seemed like I was always dealing with a stuffy nose or some sort of sinus issue.


I don't like being sick all the time.  It interferes with my life.  Once the fluid was removed, I ate everything.  Pants got tight and my extensive wardrobe dwindled to just a few pieces that fit.  I was not about to go and buy anything new as I was not going to remain at this size.


On Tuesday, January 27, I am going to convert to the gastric sleeve.  I have done all the thinking and research and believe this will be the best step for me.  My surgeons did loads of conversions last year and once I made the decision, I have found that quite a few of my old banded buddies have had to convert to the sleeve as well.  Seems that I am following a trend. 


Change.  ARGH!  My life will drastically change for the next few months.  Currently I am on liquids prior to surgery.   I have already gotten through breaking the sugar addiction and am impressed that I didn't kill anyone.  Just a side note:  we really have way too much sugar in regular foods.  Eat clean people!  Read labels and know what is going in your mouth.  Low fat products usually mean added sugar.


I feel like I am getting a reset.  Am I scared?  Of course!  I trust my team and my decision.  It has been great getting tips and tricks from my patients.  They are so supportive.  So, stay tuned for a completely new point of view. 


Oh and if you could say a little prayer for me on Tuesday morning, I would be grateful!

What A Pain!

In December, I broke my middle and ring finger of my right hand.  During that bad patch of icy weather, I slipped and as I fell, I did the splits.  Luckily, I do this in my Bar Method classes every day, so there was no pain from that.  I broke my fingers trying to break my fall.  At first I thought I had jammed them.  I figured that the pain would go away after a few days.  Let me tell you, the pain was exquisite. 

 I had a lot going on with Christmas and our youngest daughter's wedding, so I pushed through the pain.  An advantage of working at a hospital, is I can't flip a quarter without hitting a doctor or a nurse.  I finally consulted a nurse who said she could tell by looking at them that they had been broken.  Since time had passed, I was told to wrap it for a few days and it would be OK.

It is not OK.  It will never be OK again.  I now have a way to mark when things happen in my life.  Now things have happened either pre or post finger pain.  They hurt all the time.  They hurt while I type this blog.  I wince when I wash my hands.  Shake my hand?  Hell no!  Needing the right hand to lift something or stop a dog?  Not happening without a small scream attached.

For two months I have put up with this pain.  It isn't the pass out kind of pain, but an annoying constant ache.  The kind where you want to slap something.  Hard.  Then of course there are times when the sharp pain comes because I lifted a glass or something silly.

Why might I be writing a blog about my injured fingers?  Well one thing is that if you see me, please don't try to shake my hand.  I adore you, but lets tap elbows for awhile.  After all, it is cold and flu season.  The other reason is that I knew something was wrong, but I just pushed through the pain thinking that things would get better soon.  I didn't make time to take care of me.

I hear story after story of people who have had weight loss surgery tell me they are having issues but they know it will get better soon.  They are choosing not to take care of themselves.  They do not put their health first.  Then they end up having to have another surgery or are diagnosed vitamin deficient and must spend a year getting back to normal health.  Are you having issues?  When was the last time you checked in with your surgeon's office?  Might be time to pay attention to the warning signs. Make the time to take care of yourself.

By the way, I can now tell the weather by the ache in my fingers.  Oh what fun! 

What You Allow Will Continue

Yesterday I wrote "What you allow will continue" on my status on Facebook.  This is my mantra for 2014.  Quite a few people emailed me privately or spoke to me in person about these 5 little words.  Think about it...    What You Allow Will Continue.

Eating fast food: what you will allow will continue.

People making comments to you that are a wee bit nasty, yet you laugh it off: what you allow will continue.

People taking advantage of your time: what you allow will continue.

Choosing to ignore your health: what you allow will continue.

Being the victim all the time.  It is always someone else's fault: what you allow will continue.

Sitting on the couch watching Real Housewives instead of working out: what you allow will continue.

Get it?  We choose our present. 

So let's turn this around.

I will do some sort of exercise 6 times this week: what you allow will continue.

I choose to get more sleep and not let the distractions of work or home get in the way: what you allow will continue.

I drink water over high calorie liquids: what you allow will continue.

I have no time for toxic people: what you allow will continue.

I choose to put myself first so I can be a better person for my family and friends: what you allow will continue.

I make healthy food choices: what you allow will continue.

I am the person I want to be: what you allow will continue.


You have the power to make a difference in you and in the people around you.  I challenge you to move forward and make a difference in your life.
 

What You Allow Will Continue!

Confessions of the Band!

Lately I haven't met a carb I haven't liked.  For the past 6 weeks, I have had every kind of bread, potato and sweet I could find!  Why might you ask?  Well, I got some fluid out of my lapband. 

My band has always been stress reactive.  The moment I am dealing with something tough, my band gets even tighter.  No big life changing events here, but a bunch of little events caused my band to tighten up and I wasn't getting sleep.  You can't go without sleep...it can quite literally make you crazy.

So, I did the smart thing and went to get an unfill.  Then I decided to have a little more taken out than normal.  I wanted to take a holiday.  I developed my taste for carbs again.  I loved every minute of it...until my pants got too tight. 

Reality check.  I don't want to gain back all my weight.  I can tell not only in my clothes, but in my breathing and in my workouts that I have too much weight on my body to be healthy.  So, I made the call and by the time you see this, the fluid will be back in.

I have had my band for almost 15 years.  I have been successful and of normal weight for 13 of those years.  I have worked in weight loss in one form or another for those 13 years.  So, why am I confessing this bump in my healthy weight and not just losing it and being 'the success story' without you ever knowing about this?  Because I am human.  I needed to do what is right for me.  The point I am trying to make is that it is ok to deviate from your path once in awhile, but always keep it in sight and be sure to get back on.  Don't get lost and lose your focus.

I am getting back on the bandwagon.  I am also paying attention to my hunger scale and only eating when I am hungry. 

Do you need to re-focus?  Let's do this people!  www.losinggracefully.com

This picture totally cracks me up!  These are my dogs, Molly and Stu at the dog park.  Molly is the one with her tongue hanging out, the joyful look on her face and her paws in the water bowl.  Poor Stu is the one with the nasty glare.  What you don't see is that Molly has the ball and has placed it into the water bowl.  Stu, being the dutiful brother, is patiently waiting for her to allow him to grab the ball and bring it to me.

I learn alot from these dogs.  Molly is 2 years younger, loves to counter surf and always full of energy.  Stu is my little gentleman. He takes care of his sister.  He has wonderful manners but is all about the ball.  He is focused.  He lives for our daily dog park visits. 

Each day, Stu will run into the park and check out every ball in order to find the "ball of the day".  No other ball will do.  If Molly catches the ball, he will follow her until she gives it to him.  If another dog steals the ball, he will not get aggressive.  He will wait until they lose interest.  Then he grabs it and brings it to me.  When I am throwing the ball, Stu is completely in the moment.  Nothing exists outside of that tennis ball.  No matter what else is going on at the park, he won't get involved.  The ball is king.  I am amazed at his ability to tune out all distractions and concentrate on what he finds important.

I wish I had such focus!  Often I find myself getting muddled in the brain due to having too many things going on at the same time.  The important things get mixed in with the trivial events an instead of doing one thing well, many things get done half assed.  I need to focus like Stu.  He does one thing and he does it very well. 

Straight From The Oval Office

Yesterday instead of putting out my blog, I snuck off to the Bush Library with a close friend.  I had only been to one other presidential library.  It was amazing.  President Bush was the president when our lives changed for good.  When we learned that we were not safe from terrorist attacks. 

The team that put the library together did an excellent job.  They handled the acknowledgement of a very sad and scary time in our world, with dignity.  My friend and I (and many others) had tears in our eyes as we read letters from people (not just dignitaries) and speeches from President Bush.

We are so lucky to have a Presidential Library in Dallas.  Regardless of your political affiliations, you need to put visiting the library a priority.  It is history.

They also have a replica of the Oval office.  Note the picture!  Me running the world.  Watch out!

Dancing With Bullets!

This is my year of stepping through fear.  To challenge myself.  This past weekend I did something I thought I would never do.  I went to training for a Concealed Handgun License.  For several years, I had toyed with the idea of buying a gun for protection purposes.  A friend convinced me to attend the class, then decide on a gun. 

We booked the class in January and the first date available was a 12 hour class on April 27.  The class was packed.  I am grateful to Mark at Elite Handgun Academy.  He made a long class fun and informative.  Before class started, there was a list of guns for purchase and I spent some time perusing over what would be my future gun.

The material was interesting and I never got bored, but as the day wore on, I wanted a gun less and less.  As a matter of fact, I began to dread the idea of going to the range and shooting at a human looking target.  Now don't get me wrong, I can shoot.  My family has a farm, so I know my way around a shotgun.  I have no problem shooting a snake.  In my opinion, the only good snake is a dead snake, but I digress.

Once at the range, I was scared.  I realized I don't like the thought of ever aiming a gun at a human being, even a paper rendition. During the qualifying test, I found myself shaking a bit and having to stop and take some deep breaths.  I got through it and passed!  If my family or myself were in a life threatening situation, no problem.  I pray that never happens. 

My take away?  Guns are scary.  I think everyone should get their CHL.  I now know all about gun safety and can defend myself and family if ever necessary.  This is the year of stepping through my fear.  I stepped to my edge and jumped.  I survived.

What can you do that will challenge you?  Want to talk about it?
www.losinggracefully.com 
 

Pretty Things

I love purses.  My close friends call me a purse whore.  I actually have quite a collection.  I take care of them and rotate them for years.  At this time, I have enough purses to outfit everyone in my Zumba class with at least 2 per person.

I have enough. 

This of course did not stop me when I saw the lovely piece of awesomeness that is pictured here.  The moment I saw it, I rushed right out and snagged this beauty.  I justified it because I didn't have a purse that had white leather.  I quickly brought my purchase home, but for some reason, I didn'tput it into rotation immediately.

After a few days, I realized that I did not even think about my purchase.  I saw it and basically shut my brain down and bought it.  No thinking allowed.

How many times do we do that in our eating?  Do you ever sit down at the table or better yet, in front of the TV and choose not to pay attention to the food in front of you.  Then suddenly it is gone and you are stuffed.  Remorse and regret set in.

I didn't need a new purse.  Once I sobered up from my "got to have it" high, I returned my little lovely so it could end up in someone else's collection.

Think before you do.

Do you need some help with your thought process towards weight loss?
www.losinggracefully.com
Let's change your thoughts and get you to your heallthy weight.

Almost Finished!

I must admit I am completely bored with my subject.  Kitchen is not done yet.  But we are close.  Very close.

It is exciting and excruciating at the same time!  In the next week, I should have my home back.  No longer will there be legions of men in my house, making loads of noise at all hours of the day.

I will have my bedroom back as a bedroom.

I can move the kitchen items back into the kitchen. 

My office will be relocated from the 6 bags of files in the closet, back to my office.

My dogs will be able to live in the whole house and not just our bedroom.  Molly will no longer destroy everything in site just to let me know that she isn't happy to be trapped in a room with scary noises outside.  My house will smell better.

I have been busy waiting.  The best part about this situation?  I have been coaching the heck out of myself!  I have learned so much about thought work.  I am confident in my craft.

Now I am ready to coach the heck out of you.   www.losinggracefully.com  Lets work together.




Eat Healthy? Ha!

 

We are doing a kitchen remodel.  Nick and I have wanted to do this for 8 years.  A dream come true!  Now that it is happening, we are in the midst of a nightmare.  We have been with out a working kitchen for 2 weeks.  I have learned so much from this experience. 

 

The project was to start in February.  Due to a hiccup, they could not start until March.  I handled that situation with grace.  People were amazed at how I was so calm and cool while dealing with complete craziness.  Since the construction started and we lost the use of our kitchen, I have turned into a complete witch!  I have no patience, I am grumpy, and my poor husband has to put up with this behavior.  He is a saint.

 

I spent some time trying to figure out why I am not happy while this change, that I have desperately wanted, takes place.  I believe it is due to the fact that we are eating out everyday.  We love to eat at home.  We eat pretty normal.  I would say healthy, but we do eat some evil foods, so lets just stick with normal.  When we started this process, we thought we would have salads everyday and lose weight while we have no kitchen.  I had visions of chopping all sorts of raw foods at our dining room table.  Ha!  We have either dined out or brought home take out every single night.  I am sick of it!   I have people in my house all the time and there are loud noises and weird smells.  Dust is everywhere!  The dogs are being needy as they don't understand what is happening.  Everywhere I go, they follow closely.  I feel like I am leading a school of fish!

 

Enough!  The positives?  The crew are very respectful and it looks like we only have one more week to go before they will finish.  We have some great friends and family who have taken us in and fed us.  When it is over, we will have an awesome new kitchen! Once we have it back, I believe we will be eating at home for awhile. Wahoo!

 

                                           

 

What Brings You Joy?

Meet Griz!  Griz is a 10 month old golden retriever that I see almost daily, when I take my dogs to the park.  Griz is the funniest dog I have ever met.  I would say that he brings me 80% of my daily belly laughs.

I believe that everyone should have, at the minimum, one good belly laugh a day. A belly laugh is a laugh that comes from the gut.  A laugh that is joyful! We spend too much time being serious.  It is so easy to lose sight of the day to day comedy.  Our lives are hilarious!

Take Griz and his sweet, very patient Momma.  She is trying to teach Griz some manners.  Griz is a bit of a slow learner.  Momma is trying to teach Griz not to jump on people.  She has tried absolutely everything from yelling 'NO' to sprays and now currently a tin pan (dogs don't like the sound).  Griz's mom has become a ninja, trying to get there in plenty of time when Griz wants to jump up to say hello.

Of course we are all bad enforcers.  Griz is just so stinkin cute that you kinda want him to jump up and say hello.  I mean seriously, look at that face?  He is a happy dog!  Griz's antics can get a laugh from me everytime.  I am so grateful for Griz and his Momma.

What gives you a belly laugh?  Are you laughing every day?  Give it a try, it is good for your health!   

Sometimes Me Gets Lost

I have a very full life.  I have a husband, 5 fantastic stepchildren, and 2 dogs that continuously shed!  I have a great career as a coach with clients I adore.  We are currently making some changes to our home and that require a good deal of time interacting with contractors, inspectors, et al.  There is a lot going on at our house all the time.

I am not complaining, but sometimes I get a little lost when there is so much going on.  Husband needs things, kids have issues that need attention, and the dogs want the ball!  Taxes need to be done.  Items need to be moved from one area to another.  I have no place to have my office during the renovation.  There are never enough hours in the day!  It is so easy to lose Me when life is busy.  The old Cynthia would have been grumpy and  whining to any and all who will listen while shoving a cheeseburger and fries into my face as fast as possible.  Oh and I would wash it all down with a side of chocolate cake and a huge vat of wine!

Through out all the craziness of my day to day life, I have found that if I take at least an hour for myself, I can deal with anything that lands in my lap.  I would not consider myself as an exercise junkie, but during crazy times, I have found that in order to keep my focus, an hour of Zumba or Bar Method gives me sanity and keeps the unneeded calories away.  I have also got meditation on my to try list, just don't have time for that yet.

My point is that no matter what is going on in your life and how busy things can be, take some time for yourself.  Remember that you have to be you in order to be at your best for everyone else!  So what keeps you sane?

Take The Leap!

I have not written in a few weeks but so much has happened that I believe I will have plenty of material for multiple blogs! 
That is me flying through the air.  A few weeks ago I went on a girls trip to my favorite place, Miraval in Tuscon, Arizona.  It has become a very special place to me.  Last year, while at Miraval, I learned about being Mindful and made the decision to become a life coach.  I spent the rest of the year studying and getting certified.

This year, I decided to try the Quantum Leap.  This is where you climb up a 35 foot telephone pole and get on to a one foot by 2 foot board, stand up and look around, say something profound and jump!  When I saw the climb, I thought I would never make it.  They made me go first.  Deep breath!  So, harnessed up and shaking, I started up the ladder.  Made it up there pretty quickly with no issues.  Now I needed to climb onto the actual pole.  The pegs or staples are spaced for normal height people.  I had to wrap my hand around the pole as I was climbing up to the next staple.  I was amazed that I could lift my body weight so easily.  I was able to get to the top at a normal pace.  Then I had to climb onto the teeny tiny platform.

It was a windy day and the pole was swaying from that height.  My legs were shaking as well.  I took awhile before I stood up.  I didn't want to give up and just fall.  The goal was to stand up on the top of the pole.  So, I did.  I stood up and just jumped. 

IT WAS AWESOME!

I never thought that I would be able to climb up a pole and jump off the pole 35 feet in the air.  I was amazed that I wasn't scared to leap.  I knew all was ok.

My take away from the exercise?  It is good to experience things that will make your heart beat a bit faster. I am in better shape than I thought.  It is ok to trust.  The rewards are amazing!  I still giggle when I think about it or see the pictures.

What will you find out about yourself if you were going to climb up and leap off of a 35 ft telephone pole?  How about if you go ahead and commit to that food plan.  What's the worst that could happen?  The best that could happen?

I can help you get to the point where you can enjoy a challange.  www.losinggracefully.com
Contact me for a free 30 minute session.

Thank God For Coaching!

This is a view from my back door.  It has been this way for the past week.  What was going to be a 3 day event, has turned into a week and counting. 

The reason the incompleted fence is crazy and out of mine and my contractor's hands.  The City of Dallas is currently ruling over this situation.  It is enough to place someone on an IV of valium.

In past years, I would have been ranting and raving and stuffing my face with every sweet available.  When I got the phone call about the stop work order, I must admit that I did growl for a minute, but that was all.

My mind immediately went to all the information I have learned on how to handle things.  This situation was out of my control, so I wasn't going to lose control.  I was able to coach myself out of a dangerous moment.  Nary a cookie was eaten and all the people I have had to interact with over this matter have gotten the kind and relaxed Cynthia and not the angry, out of control Cynthia.  It felt wonderful!

I hate that my backyard looks trashy and icky, but I love the fact that I stayed calm and focused and that I know my coaching ability.  The backyard will get done, just not as quick as I would like.

Wow!  I am an awesome coach! 

I would like to help you feel wonderful and focused too.  www.losinggracefully.com

Nom Nom! Food Crazy!

  Ever felt like this picture?  Have you ever thought about a food so much that you were obcessed by the time you got it and crammed it into your mouth?  Did you even really taste it?

We do that.  We deny ourselves something and quietly it builds up in our mind as the absolute best thing ever.  Like a snowball rolling down the hill, it gains momentum until it is HUGE and we become quite crazed at the thought of getting whatever it is we wanted.

Once you get it, is it really worth all the press your brain gave that food?  In most cases, I would bet no.  This has happened to me many times.  I will start thinking about a food, say in this instance, a cheeseburger from a local joint.  At first it sounds good but the thought lingers.  Then I go through the deny thought process where I tell myself I don't need the calories and should make better choices.  Now that might quell my desire for the cheeseburger for a day or so, but the thought always comes back.

Then I decide that I can make a healthier cheeseburger at home and will do so.  It just doesn't taste like it did at the local burger joint.  Still not satissfied and still want that cheeseburger.  Now, if you are like me, I will finally give in and eat so fast that I feel sick.  I will eat more than I want and usually I come away thinking that is sounded better than it tasted.  Not a happy ending.

I am going to try a new way when the craving for some particular food creeps its way into my brain.  I am going to go and get it.  Stick with me here as you are thinking I am encouraging you to eat unhealthy, etc.  If you find that you are craving something, why spend countless days and calories trying to avoid that particular food, when you can just eat it and move on.  Savor the flavor.  BUT (and there is always a but), follow the rules.  Go slow and only eat until you are full and leave the rest.  If you are honest with yourself it might be only half the cheeseburger.  You got what you wanted and you didn't end up gorging yourself.  Win win if you ask me.

If Not Now, When?

Yesterday,I heard someone say "If not now, when?" and I actually stopped in my tracks.  I have no idea in what context this person was using this statement, but it was a total game changer for me. Why do we wait on making changes?  Let's look at some of the answers people give:

 

"I want to research this"  Really?   Haven't you been thinking about weight loss, moving, going back to school, or whatever it is for awhile now?  Is there a difference between thinking about and 'seriously' thinking about a change?

"I am too busy"  Busy being unhappy.  If there is something on your mind that you know would improve your life, why are you even wasting one more day?  Take a deep breath and leap!

"I am scared" Change is always scary.  You can 'what if' yourself to death.  But you are a strong person and can handle whatever happens.  You have gotten this far in life.  Why cheat yourself out of a victory?  If you do nothing, then nothing is what you will get.  Everyone's mission in life is to move forward.  How will you move forward?

There are so many things going on currently in my life that I would love to say, "Whoa lets slow down for a little while and ponder on these decisions."  That would be the wrong thing to do.  It is very hard to leave the comfort of my bed every morning, but things must move forward.  Life must be lived!  Am I scared?  Yes!  Do I push through?  Yes!  The reward will be fantastic because I have earned it.

I am standing on my soapbox because lately I have seen way too many people who are miserable in their lives, because they are choosing not to live it!  So, I encourage you to take the leap of faith and just go ahead and do it.  Don't try, do!  The worst that can happen is that you end up where you are now.  The best?  Well that is whatever you want it to be.  New Job?  Lose weight? Better relationships and less toxic people in your life?  You name it and then do it!

I can help.  I can guide you through this process.  www.losinggracefully.com
 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Doomed!

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
It is so hard to step out of your comfort zone.  It is terribly scary.  People love to say they embrace change, but when asked to truly change, they can find all sorts of reasons why it won't work.  Einstein's statement is so true!  Unfortunately, you spend way too much time repeating your mistakes instead of taking a deep breath and moving forward and changing your life.

If you hate your job, update your resume and starting looking for the next position.  The only thing that is holding you back from success is YOU!  What is the worst thing that will happen to you?  You end up in the same job?  Well, that is what is going on now...you are experiencing the worst.  I am just starting up my own weight loss coaching business.  It is scary to try to market myself and to make those cold calls.  Is it because I am not good at what I do.  Heck no!  I worked hard to earn my certification and I know I am good.  Just because you are good, doesn't mean the clients fall into your lap.  You have to get your name out there and develop your client base.  It takes time and focus.  It would be so easy to just go back and get a job in the weight loss business.  Would I be happy?  Nope.  Right now, though I am afraid of my next step, I am excited to see where it will lead me!  Is it easy?  No way!  This is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

When it comes to weight loss are you doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again?  What is keeping you from moving forward?  Why not contact me and we can get your brain working differently on how you see food.  Is it hard?  Yes!  Is there dieting?  No, those don't work.  Will you be successful?  That is up to you.  If you are ready to try something else because the same old diet commitment hasn't ever worked for you, or it worked for awhile and failed, then consider weight loss coaching.  Let's get you to your forever healthy weight.  Train your brain to think differently about food.  Lose the weight.  Be a healthy success story.  You can do this.  I can help.
www.losinggracefully.com

How Are Those Resolutions Working For Ya?

We start the new year off with lots of resolutions.  This year I am getting organized.  No more clutter.  I am going to eat healthier. I will exercise everyday.  I will finally lose the weight.  Sound familiar? 

You have to have the right equipment.  New running shoes, workout clothes, paper products, juicers, diet programs, and all sorts or other paraphernalia are purchased in order to help us get to our goals.We are all full of good intentions and determination, but usually by the end of January, all resolutions are broken or ignored.

The excuses start to roll in.  "Work has gotten so busy."  "The kids have so much going on that there is no time for me."  "It's just too hard".  Go ahead and add your own excuse. Remember it is just that: an excuse. 

You can make all the resolutions you would like, but if you don't start with your thought process, it will be very hard to be successful.  Get right with the mind, then the body will follow.  If you view yourself as a failure at dieting, exercising, etc. you are doomed to prove yourself right.

Want to change those thoughts?  I can help.  I am a certified weight loss coach and can teach you the tips and techniques for success.  So, if you would like 2013 to end with you moving to or at your forever healthy weight, go to www.losinggracefully.com

It is time to treat the cause and the symptom!

A Fixer No More!

Personally, I think the picture is creepy, but it drives the point of my blog.  You see, I am a fixer.  I am happy to fix any problem you have, whether you want me to or not.  This is not always a good thing.

Some people need to fix their own problems even if I can see the obvious solution.  Now you might think I am speaking of kids.  Nope.  I am talking about full grown adults.  These past few days I have shut my mouth in the face of several issues.  I have chosen not to be involved in some decision making because I usually come out looking like the bad guy when I do.  This time I honestly wasn't up for the job.  I have been working on my certification in weight loss coaching and had learned that being a fixer is not the best thing.  So, I am fixing only for myself these days.

I think stepping back was the right thing to do, but the fall out is hard and the problem has not been  solved in a good way.  There was a degree of anger as I would not step in where I usually do.  This brought to mind when I lost a load of weight and my position in the family dynamic changed.  Have any of you experienced this phenomena?  In every family, each person has a certain position.  The smart one, the silly one, the fat one, etc.  My position many years and pounds ago, was the victim.  As I lost weight, my family didn't know what to do with me.  They had to adjust to the new more confident me.  Same thing happened at work.  At the time, it drove my boss crazy because she couldn't dump work on me anymore.  It was wonderful to lose all that weight, but there was an awkward time while everyone adjusted.

I guess I am going through that awkward time now as well.  For 50 years, if I saw a problem, I figured out how to fix it.  I am a planner.  I actually work scenarios through my head to see all possible outcomes and then go with the best.  I try to plan for any hiccups.  An extremely simple example would be, if you have out of town guest coming, and currently people sleeping in what will be their bed, when is the best time to do the sheets?  Simple answer, find out when the person currently occupying said bed is getting up and plan your washing schedule as well as chore schedule around him leaving said bed.  My brain does this all day!

In coaching, I cannot fix.  I can only hold a mirror up to the client and then it is up to the client on how to fix.  Sounds easy?  Not really.  When the client wants to change, it is an amazing process!  It was hard for me to stop fixing people and to coach them on fixing themselves.  It is even harder to apply that into my own life.  It's working and there are some amazing changes taking place.  I wonder if I will always have that tendency to fix, or if after much practice, it will be normal to not fix and let the person fix themselves.

Here's to a new year, new life and new career!  I am so excited about the things to come.

The Holiday Shovel and Scoop!

Tis the season for loads of parties, luncheons, get togethers, etc.  It is a wonderful time to catch up with friends and family that we only see during the holiday season.  Unfortunately, we spend a bunch of time stuffing our faces with yummy foods and festive frosty adult beverages at these events and pack on the pounds.

It is so easy to have that extra glass of wine or not pay attention to the cookies, cakes and candies during events.  Well, I am telling you now, PAY ATTENTION!  Those calories consumed during mindless eating, are the ones that will add the extra pounds to your body.  Then it either starts a shame spiral or adds extra workout activity to your January schedule.

When you are at a party or festive event, enjoy your food, but only eat until you are full.  Think about what is going into your mouth.  Last week, I was at dinner with my husband.  He began shoveling some delicious truffle mac n cheese into his mouth.  I asked him why he was doing this?  He said it tasted wonderful.  Then I asked if he was really tasting it while he was eating so fast.  He thought about it and said no.  He then slowed down and enjoyed the yummy treat.

My father use to tell me when I was eating something fast, "Slow down so you can taste the vanilla."
He was so right.  So, my advice to you this season is to enjoy your treats, but go slow and really taste it.  You might notice you eat less and love it more.  And perhaps you won't be spending extra time in the gym trying to lose the holiday weight.