A Fixer No More!

Personally, I think the picture is creepy, but it drives the point of my blog.  You see, I am a fixer.  I am happy to fix any problem you have, whether you want me to or not.  This is not always a good thing.

Some people need to fix their own problems even if I can see the obvious solution.  Now you might think I am speaking of kids.  Nope.  I am talking about full grown adults.  These past few days I have shut my mouth in the face of several issues.  I have chosen not to be involved in some decision making because I usually come out looking like the bad guy when I do.  This time I honestly wasn't up for the job.  I have been working on my certification in weight loss coaching and had learned that being a fixer is not the best thing.  So, I am fixing only for myself these days.

I think stepping back was the right thing to do, but the fall out is hard and the problem has not been  solved in a good way.  There was a degree of anger as I would not step in where I usually do.  This brought to mind when I lost a load of weight and my position in the family dynamic changed.  Have any of you experienced this phenomena?  In every family, each person has a certain position.  The smart one, the silly one, the fat one, etc.  My position many years and pounds ago, was the victim.  As I lost weight, my family didn't know what to do with me.  They had to adjust to the new more confident me.  Same thing happened at work.  At the time, it drove my boss crazy because she couldn't dump work on me anymore.  It was wonderful to lose all that weight, but there was an awkward time while everyone adjusted.

I guess I am going through that awkward time now as well.  For 50 years, if I saw a problem, I figured out how to fix it.  I am a planner.  I actually work scenarios through my head to see all possible outcomes and then go with the best.  I try to plan for any hiccups.  An extremely simple example would be, if you have out of town guest coming, and currently people sleeping in what will be their bed, when is the best time to do the sheets?  Simple answer, find out when the person currently occupying said bed is getting up and plan your washing schedule as well as chore schedule around him leaving said bed.  My brain does this all day!

In coaching, I cannot fix.  I can only hold a mirror up to the client and then it is up to the client on how to fix.  Sounds easy?  Not really.  When the client wants to change, it is an amazing process!  It was hard for me to stop fixing people and to coach them on fixing themselves.  It is even harder to apply that into my own life.  It's working and there are some amazing changes taking place.  I wonder if I will always have that tendency to fix, or if after much practice, it will be normal to not fix and let the person fix themselves.

Here's to a new year, new life and new career!  I am so excited about the things to come.

The Holiday Shovel and Scoop!

Tis the season for loads of parties, luncheons, get togethers, etc.  It is a wonderful time to catch up with friends and family that we only see during the holiday season.  Unfortunately, we spend a bunch of time stuffing our faces with yummy foods and festive frosty adult beverages at these events and pack on the pounds.

It is so easy to have that extra glass of wine or not pay attention to the cookies, cakes and candies during events.  Well, I am telling you now, PAY ATTENTION!  Those calories consumed during mindless eating, are the ones that will add the extra pounds to your body.  Then it either starts a shame spiral or adds extra workout activity to your January schedule.

When you are at a party or festive event, enjoy your food, but only eat until you are full.  Think about what is going into your mouth.  Last week, I was at dinner with my husband.  He began shoveling some delicious truffle mac n cheese into his mouth.  I asked him why he was doing this?  He said it tasted wonderful.  Then I asked if he was really tasting it while he was eating so fast.  He thought about it and said no.  He then slowed down and enjoyed the yummy treat.

My father use to tell me when I was eating something fast, "Slow down so you can taste the vanilla."
He was so right.  So, my advice to you this season is to enjoy your treats, but go slow and really taste it.  You might notice you eat less and love it more.  And perhaps you won't be spending extra time in the gym trying to lose the holiday weight.

Cold or Clean Toilets?

I have a cold.  My husband had it last week and for our anniversary, he passed it along.  What a gift!  Love him! Ugh!  I hate to be sick.  It is never convenient to be ill.  I have a list as long as my arm of things I need to do around the house, errands that need to be run, Christmas cards, and Christmas shopping.  The house needs a good cleaning after a great holiday weekend with kids and dogs running, playing and drooling (dogs only on the last one). 

Yesterday, I tried to do some of the things on my list.  I should have stayed in bed and slept.  I didn't.  Today I feel worse and now am having to stay in bed.  Of course, I am doing my blog, but that is my 1 thing to do today. 

If I had just stayed in bed yesterday, maybe I would feel better today.  I never give myself permission to be sick.  I don't think anyone does until they cannot get out of the bed.  Why do I and millions of others feel like I need to be a super hero and push through the cold?  What is wrong with taking care of oneself?  Who set the standard on this?  Am I lazy if I stay home?  Wouldn't more people appreciate me not infecting them with my germs? 

It is all in my mind.  I am putting pressure on myself.  Trust me, the world will still turn if I don't clean the toilets today.  Life will go on.  The post offices won't close down if I don't mail my Christmas cards.  It can all wait until I am healthier.

So, for today I am sick.  I am ok with that.  I am going to take care of me.  Are you taking care of yourself? 

Happy, Happy, Happy!

This has been my life for the past week.  Welcome Stu and Molly to our family!  We adopted them from a lab rescue group and we could not be happier!  For the past week, I have been chasing after dogs.  I have cleaned muddy paws, held slobbery balls, said NO! a thousand times, and have a sore right arm from chucking balls at the dog park.  I am constantly filthy and so is my house and my car.  Am I upset about this?  Heck no!  I am completely in love!
I forgot how quiet the house had gotten once our 14 year old lab passed away a few months ago.  Nick and I had gotten into a routine and for awhile enjoyed the quiet.  Since the rowdy pair have arrived, we have been exhausted, but constantly have goofy grins on our faces.  They are so much fun to watch, we are thinking of cancelling our cable.


So, this brings to mind a question... Is happiness organization or chaos? 

I used to think that everything in its place was absolute heaven.  If you haven't figured this out, I am a bit OCD.  It drives me crazy when the kids leave things out or when I have to clean little messes.  My house has clutter, but it is controlled clutter (is there such a thing?)  I don't like to be dirty and I hate a dirty kitchen.  I can't stand sticky hands or surfaces. Well, that has gone completely out the window.  I can't keep up with the mess and I don't mind!  This must be love. 

 The bonus of two labs is that so far, I am down two pounds.  Their exercise is my extra exercise.  My only worry is that my right arm will become a popeye arm and my left will look pathetic.  I have tried to chuck the balls with my left, but they don't go far and Stu has little patience for those lame throws.

If you had told me two weeks ago my life would change for sticky, slobbery dog kisses, dirty car seats and muddy paw prints everywhere, I would have laughed in your face.  It is amazing what love can do to a person.
What makes you happy?  what will get you to change your life?  What will get you to move forward?

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  I am thankful for these two rowdy, loving dogs that have turned my life upside down.  What are you thankful for?

That Last Bite Can Bite Back!

I love my Lapband!  I truly do.  For me, it was a complete lifesaver.  I am 200 pounds lighter and am now healthy.  It is a wonderful thing.

The Lapband is a tool to help you regulate the amount of food you eat.  You feel full on a smaller serving of food.  What the band cannot do and what I still struggle with at times, even after almost 14 years of being banded, is the last bite.  Stick with me and I will explain.

Have you ever eaten something so delicious that you do not want to stop even when you are feeling full?  The lovely plate of food before you is filled with so many tasty treats that you just don't want to stop.  You know the feeling, your body says no, but your mind says "Oh just have one more bite". Thanksgiving tends to bring on this overstuffed feeling as it is a holiday centered around food. 

Now for those of you who have not had surgical intervention, well, you eat the bite and feel a bit more bloated and icky.  You might even mentally flog yourself for eating too much.  For those of us who have had some sort of surgery for weight reduction, one last bite could mean regurgitation.  I know it sounds awful and it really is not the best way to spend a holiday dinner.

So, what do we do when we are presented with Aunt Bertha's special mashed potatoes and Mom's pecan pie?  They will be so hurt if you don't clean your plate.  Go ahead and eat, but when your body says stop, then STOP!  Ask for them to wrap up your leftovers for later.  Tell them how much you love it, but you are full and will eat it again for the next meal.  They will understand.  You won't feel icky or have a spit up.  It is a win-win.

So remember, if you are feeling full: PUT THE FORK DOWN!  You will survive and be so much healthier too.

MMMMM, Creamy Deliciousness!

I am a complete fool for anything that is creamy.  I love mayonnaise, cream, cream cheese, sour cream, milk, and every cheese ever made.  Ugh!  That list sounds fabulous and horrible at the same time.  My heart does a little dance every time I get to have any or all of the creamy foods.  Unfortunately, creamy foods are not considered the best for your body.  They are loaded with fats and can cause weight gain if you each too much.

One of Nick's daughters is no fan of the creamy.  She can't stand mayo or cream.  Her diet is healthy.  She prefers red sauce to me loving Alfredo.  She likes hummus whereas I prefer ranch dip.  Her dressings are oil and vinegar and mine are ranch and blue cheese.  She is a size 2 and I am not.

I wish I could adopt the healthy Mediterranean diet.  I like the foods and can live on them for awhile, but my joy lies in the fatty foods.  That is just it.  My joy.  In my studies, I have learned to "joy" eat for 10% of your daily intake.  That is everyday.  You must plan your joy eat.  This could be a sweet, alcohol or anything creamy.    A joy eat is anything that brings you joy.  It isn't a food that fuels your body, but something that makes you happy.  My joy eat last night was a margarita.  Tonight it will be a chocolate chip cookie.

I encourage everyone to start planning a joy eat everyday.  Think about it ahead of time and plan it out.  You might notice a positive change in your body.  What will your joy eat be today?

Dang! I Will Never Be Prom Queen

There are certain things I have come to understand about my life:
1. I will never be a supermodel (I am 5'1").
2. I will never give birth (hysterectomy).
3. I will never be the high school prom queen.

These 'nevers' will never change.  They are facts of life and I have come to gracefully accept them.  There are many things I can do.  I can learn to play the piano.  I can learn to paint.  I can even become a doctor.  The world is my oyster.  With these few small exceptions, I can do, learn or be whatever I want.  Isn't that awesome?  It is the same for you as well.  There might be a few things that are completely out of your reach, but isn't mind blowing to know of all the things that ARE within your reach?

Unfortunately we tend to limit ourselves and believe that we can't do many things.  It is so easy to spend time thinking negatively about ourselves and the things we cannot do. I am too old, too fat, not smart enough to complete a task. We give ourselves permission to NOT succeed.  We forget that we  have the power to succeed.  It is all in the way we think.

So, is there something you always wanted to do?  Let's get our thinking in line and move toward that goal. You don't have to become a surgeon tomorrow, but try taking some positive baby steps.  I think I am going to focus on knitting an infinity scarf. One of those big cool chunky yarn ones.  I have never done it, but I know I can learn to do it and I will post a picture when I get it done.  What will you do?

Ack! Too Many Vegetables!

Every week I head off to the grocery store, I buy a bunch of fruits and veggies for my family and myself to enjoy throughout the week. Beautiful heads of lettuce, cucumbers, apples, pears and strawberries!  With the best intentions, we plan to juice some with our Jack Lalanne juicer and cook up a bunch too.  At the end of the week, I end up throwing out a huge portion of these healthy foods.  What happens? Life!

We spend big bucks at the store for healthy fruits and veggies.  Lots of recipes planned.  Then husband has to work late and eats at the office, or we get invited out to dinner. Life jumps in and changes our plans.  So, end of the week, I end up pitching moldy, rotted food.  I HATE THIS!  Produce is expensive.  Sometimes I feel like I am just throwing away money.  I have spent days pondering on what to do.  I can't stand throwing out food, but I cannot force people to stay home and sit at the table.

I have decided to shop for meals for only 24 periods.  Here's the plan: Each day I will meal plan for 24 hours.  If we are going to juice for the next days breakfast, I will get what is needed for that day.  If dinner is at home, then I will get just what is needed and only that.  This may mean more trips to the grocery store, but it will also help us save money.  Hopefully, it will keep us from wasting food.
We all want to eat healthier.  It just gets so frustrating to waste food.

How do you keep from wasting food?

Injury? 3 Ways to Keep from Gaining While Healing.

Last Saturday my legs decided to do a split in the middle of the Baton Rouge Hilton lobby.  Ugh.  This pulled several muscles in my left leg along with embarrassing me to the point of tears.  Actually the pull was very painful.  I have iced and applied heat, but for right now, all forms of exercise are on hold.  So, what does one do to avoid gaining a load of weight when you are sidelined?

1. Add some extra protein to my diet.  Chicken or fish.  Protein fills you up.  Must cut carbs because I am not doing the extra work to burn them off.

2. More water!  Water helps to fill you up as well.  So, I am going to be a water drinking fool.  It is a zero calorie snack!

3. Juicing.  I have a handy dandy juicer.  Since I am banded, getting down the daily recommended allowances has always been tough.  With my juicer, I can get loads of fruits and veggies in liquid form.

I plan on being back in action in a few days, but hopefully this will keep me from having to lose some weight once I am back in action.

Make the World a Happier and Healther Place!

I love massages! I believe that if everyone had a massage once a week, this world would be a happier and healthier place.  Since I have been in school, I can no longer afford my monthly massage.  Of course, once I am gainfully employed, it is a luxury that will be reinstated.  During this time, I have found a wonderful substitute that helps alleviate stress: the foot massage.  Specifically a reflexology massage at Max Feet.

Let me tell you why I love this:
I have several girlfriends that I see at least once a month to catch up on our busy lives.  Usually we will go to a nice restaurant and each will spend about $30-50. on cocktails and dinner.  Max Feet offers a 1 hour foot massage for $35. and the room has 3 comfy chair/beds. They clean your feet and then massage them for 45 minutes and finish up with 15 minutes of Thai massage on your fully clothed body.  This, my friends is my idea of heaven!  My friends and I can get caught up on each other's lives all while getting a great massage! There is no cheating on your food plan, no noisy crowd you have to talk over, and you can wear workout gear! 

I have taken my mom there for holiday treats, I have caught up with friends and I have even had a committee meeting there.  I wonder if anyone has actually had a business meeting there?  I hope I have given you something to think about.  Next time you are catching up with friends, call a Max Feet or Sole Envy or any massage place near you and see if they offer group foot massage.  Catch up with your friends in a calorie free environment and help the world be a happier and healthier place!

4 Things That I Have Learned Since Becoming 50.

Here are just a few things that drive me up the wall!

1. Ma'am.  Ever since I have turned 50, for some reason loads of people have started calling me ma'am.  Ugh!  I am all for respecting elders, but when did I become an elder?  Please, if you see me, call me ma'am when I am 75.

2. My skin.  What the heck fire is happening to my pores?  Did turning 50 mean that all the sudden my pores grow to huge proportions?  This must be stopped!  Quick more face creams!  More anti wrinkle stuff.  Ack!

3. I can't see.  It seems that once you become 50, you lose your eyesight.  I now cannot read anything without my readers.  I have added extra pairs in various places around the house so I can read the paper, a recipe, or perhaps medication.  This is the most frustrating change.  I hate that I need them.  It exhausts me.

4. My bones are creaky.  I no longer bound out of bed in the morning.  I kind of do a little body check before I get up.  Just making sure that all is well before I embrace my day.  I seem to be sore more and I really feel it when the weather changes. 

I am grumpy today and do not mean to make this a negative post.  The good news is that I am healthy and because I am at a healthy weight, I have added years to my life.  Those years will be where I can move and am not suffering from any heinous crippling disease.  I can enjoy the next 50 years in good health.  I will be the one who has huge pores with creaky bones with 5 pairs of readers hanging around my neck but thankful that our youth has manners.

Pity Party of One

I notice that I have gained about 5 pounds lately.  Now, I just lost my dog, so I could certainly blame the gain on mourning.  To me that is a cop out.  I am a weight loss coach, I know better.  So, sitting here with a blank page before me, I decided it is time to forgive.

I really wanted this summer to be fantastic.  Instead, it totally sucked.  I took a class that would change my life, but it was stressful and overwhelming.  The work was completely different than what I knew before, therefore I had to change everything about how I worked with clients.  That is SO hard.  Then I had a series of family issues.  Some sad, some horrifying, some frustrating.  These issues are still going on, and I need to get comfortable with them.

The stress of the summer gave me shingles.  Not fun at all.  Then there is the West Nile situation.  I am scared to be outside for more than a few minutes.  Oh, I turned 50!  Wanted to be so excited about it, but so far, phooey!  The final smack in my face, my dog had to be put down last week. I am exhausted.  I think I am cursed and I need to have some sort of exorcism.

Well today I am saying enough!  Whatever funky cloud I have been under needs to go away.  No more the victim.  I don't want to feel bad, in pain, anger, or fat.  Back to juicing.  I have been exercising a lot, but I will focus more.  I will forgive myself and those around me.  I will start laughing more and worrying less.  I will get my final certification for coaching.  I will move mountains in my life so others can move mountains in theirs.

Have you had a crummy summer?  Want to join me in a Spectacular Fall?

She's Gone

Yesterday, our 14+ year old Labrador, Cinderella, passed away.  My heart is broken.  She was a wonderful dog.  She came into my life 8 years ago.  When I was dating my now husband, she greeted me at the door, the first time I came to his house.  She had a tail that turned circles and the tail started spinning when he opened the door.  He warned me that she would bark at me as she does that to everyone.  Cyndi didn't bark.  All the kids seemed shocked that she remained silent.  I patted her on the head and a relationship was born.

Cyndi was a unique dog.  Along with the helicopter tail, she would smile at you whenever you came through the door.  It was hilarious!  It almost looked as though she was baring her teeth, except it would totally slide into a smile.  She had a really scary bark too.  I always felt safe when it was just the two of us.  She could even catch flies!  So cool.  Over the years she became my best friend.  She knew all my secrets and still loved me.  When I walked through the door, she always acted like I was the most important person in the world.  The tail would circle and the smile would be there.

We had to put her down due to her developing cancer.  The last few months she had become my full time job.  She needed to be walked several times in the middle of the night and needed a lot of attention during the day.  I know we made the right decision, but it still hurts.  We were there holding her when she slipped away.  I cried like a baby.  This morning, I jumped out of bed and proceeded to go and get Cyndi's meds as I usually do.  Then I remembered. 

I thought her passing would be an excuse to stuff my face and eat away the pain.  So far, so good.  I went and exercised this morning and have pretty much stayed true to my normal eating patterns.  Everyday I learn more about myself and how I handle things that life throws at me.  I continue to move forward.

Good Enough VS The Best

Last week I cleaned out my closet.  I love my closet.  Years ago, we converted a bedroom and made it into a closet. The only set back is that I have to share it with my husband.  I hate sharing with him.  If I could figure out a way to get him out of there and in another closet, I so would!  Alas, I  will survive...

As I went through my clothes, I noticed that I have a ton of 'good enough' stuff.  You know, the clothes that look good, but not necessarily great.  An example would be T-shirts from the Gap.  They are fine, but I don't stop traffic when I wear them.  No brainer clothing.  I only have a few pieces of clothing that I would consider 'the best'.  These are clothes that make me look thin, young, tall and basically fantastic.

I noticed that there are some women who always look fantastic.  It seems they only wear what is best for them.  I want to be them,  I think I am going to try to do that.  I would rather have less clothes and know that every piece will present me at my best than have a ton of clothing that makes me look ok.

What do you do that is just good enough and not the best? 

You Have My Attention!

Society is constantly pushing us.  Do more, push farther, you must multi-task.  Friends tell me how guilty they feel that they can't get more done in the day.  Everyone is exhausted all the time.  I know that I can't just watch TV, I must be working on my computer or cleaning something or otherwise being productive.  I feel like a big gerbil running on an exercise wheel.  Sometimes I need a good smack in the face to make me stop and really look at what is going on with my life.

That smack came in in the form of shingles.  Shingles is an adult repeat of chickenpox.  It is caused by STRESS!  It can be very painful.  Guess who is taking it down a notch?  

My one request for my birthday was to wake up on a beach.  So, we went to Florida and just relaxed.  This was very needed for the shingles too.  On the actual day, we went snorkeling in the morning and then had nothing to do until dinner.  We spent the day reading, sleeping, and watching the Olympics.  At one point, my husband said that he felt guilty not doing something.  I informed him that we were doing something, we were purposely doing nothing.  When we thought about it, we could not remember a day where we had given ourselves permission to do nothing.  It was AWESOME!

When was the last time you had given yourself permission to not have to do anything?  Make a date with yourself and do it.  Don't wait to get smacked.

The Big 5-oh!

Ack!  This Sunday I will turn 50.  I remember my mother turning 50 and I thought she was old.  Ha!  She is in her eighties now and I think she is no where near old.  I have been trying to think of what I thought I should be at 50.  I can't remember, so maybe that is the pre-dementia rearing its ugly head.

Granted, I have creaks and I make noises when I bend over to pick something up off the floor.  I have to wear readers to see anything and that frankly makes me cranky!  I have jowls (ick).  I understand the consequences from over imbibing adult beverages and prefer to be home at a reasonable hour instead of dancing all night.  Seriously, when it gets close to 10pm, I worry that I might turn into a pumpkin.  I want to be in bed.

The above are the negatives of being my age.  The positives are that I have lived and learned.  I know stuff now.  Though to live is to constantly learn, at least I know the basics.  I no longer get sucked into peer pressure.  If I don't want to do it, I am not doing it.  People ask me for life advice!  Shocking I know but true.  I am in the best shape of my life thanks to my Lapband.  My body is strong and so is my brain.  I am about to start a new career path that I love.  I understand that it isn't what you are wearing on the outside, but the undergarments make the difference!  True beauty exists and it is in the faces of my husband and his children.

I think I am pretty awesome for 50. I can't wait to see what is going to happen next!

Mirror, Mirror

So, I had a homework assignment this week.  I was to spend a little time really looking at myself in the mirror. I did it naked, just to get the full effect.   I wanted to look at all of myself and not just chunks (face, body, etc).  Here is what I learned.

First of all, I really look like my father.  I have seen it in pictures, but never in the mirror.  People have said I am the spitting image, and by looking at myself, I think I am.  I can see some of my mother there, but mainly dad.  It isn't just in the face, but it is my body shape and the way I carry myself too.  I don't think I would have ever noticed that if I had not done this.

I have lots of scars from past surgeries and youth.  This doesn't bother me at all.  I feel like I have earned every one of those scars.  Since it had been a while since I have had a surgery or been youthful, the scars are all light in color and flat against my body.  I remember when they were new and red and raised.  I was terrified that they would never go away.  I have two areas on my face that are lighter in color due to a fall in February 2011.  Those are the only two that kind of bother me, but then again, those are the newest scars.

I have a belly.  Every since I had my hysterectomy in 2006, I have had a bit of a belly.  I have been trying very hard to flatten that bump.  I ain't gonna go!  No matter what weight I am at, I still got the little bump.  Sources (my doctor) say it is due to the scar tissue from the surgery.  I now am trying to just love the damn thing!  I will keep you posted on the love fest.

There is more, but I thought I would only speak of the top three.  I am really glad it spent some time in front of the mirror and encourage each of you to do so as well.  Tell me what you liked best.  Tell me what you learned.

Body Image: Who is that girl in the mirror?

Last week I wrote about "Bad Body Image" and I got tons of feedback.  Apparently big or little, there is a lot of confusion when we look in the mirror.  I got to wondering, do we avoid the image we see?  Sure, I look in the mirror everyday, sometimes MANY times in a day, but do I really see my whole self?

When I look at the full image of myself, I usually am checking the outfit I have chosen.  I am looking for lumps, bumps, length and general "coolness" (don't want to have an out of style, style).  When I look in my face mirror, I am checking for imperfections and perhaps preforming a little surgery.  The bathroom mirror?  I am looking to make sure that I don't have a toothpaste smear, or fixing the hair, or even checking my teeth for lipstick.  So do I ever really look at myself?

This week, I think I am going to plan to look into the mirror at me.  Not my face, my hair, my clothes, but me.  The whole package.  I want to really see what I look like.  I will report back next week.

Not As Small As I think I am!

Yesterday I was leaving a friend's house who has a circular driveway.  I drive a small car and thought that I could get around her car without driving on her grass.  Well, I am not even to the end of the block before she calls and tells me that I am not as small as I think I am.  Apparently I had driven over her grass.

We giggled about her comment, but it did make me think.  When we go through a large weight gain or loss, people get body dysmorphic.  I call it BBI, bad body image.  People think they are either larger or smaller than they really are.  Once I had lost 200 pounds, I found myself trying to shop in the plus size department.  I was no where near a plus size, but I thought those clothes would fit.  Of course when I was bigger, I would order size large from catalogues and would be genuinely shocked that they wouldn't fit.

For years after I had lost weight, I would look in the mirror and see the 340 pound person still in there.  It took me forever to get rid of her.  We can get BBI from just some slight changes in your body.  Lately, I have been working out more often and have noticed my body changing.  Things that were jiggly are now muscle.  I look in the mirror and am kind of shocked.  I am about to be 50 years old and my body is getting leaner and meaner!  I have to really look at myself when I look in the mirror.  I have to be honest with my image.  Are you honest with yours?

DRAMA!

A friend made a comment about how I always have so much drama in my life.  She said it with love, but the comment stayed with me.  People that get all wrapped up in the drama of their life usually drive me crazy.  Had I become the type of person that I can't stand to be around?  I have contemplated over those words for over a week now and I think I have figured out why my life is full of drama.

I have a husband and 5 adult step children!  When it was just me, there wasn't much going on.  Now that I added an additional 6 people to my life, it is a 3 ringed circus!  There is NEVER a time when something isn't going on. These are adults going through their first careers and first loves. Many times I feel that I am in the middle of a tornado and the best thing I can do is to hold on.  The upside of this is I always have interesting stories, so you want to sit next to me at functions.  The downside is that there is always something going on.  It is rare to have quiet times.  The stress level can go through the roof.

When things were stressful for me before I lost the weight, I would resort to eating.  Now, I exercise.  Sometimes 3 times a day!  Exercise and my band keep my weight in check.  Love my band.

Being a parent is still new to me (almost 7 years and counting).  I am reminded of a scene in the movie "Parenthood" where the grandmother speaks of the roller coaster ride.  Up and down, up and down, she had never been so scared and thrilled at the same time.  She says some prefer the merry go round, but that it is boring, just goes round and round.

I like the roller coaster with all its ups and downs and the drama!  What a ride!

Brain Buzz

Do you ever have so much going on that you get brain buzz?  For me, I don't have a lot going on physically, but mentally, my brain is doing back flips!  Lately I find that I am busy worrying about everything.  I worry about my husband, my stepchildren, a job, my dog, my mom, my friends....  Phew!  I am exhausted.  In March I went to Miraval Spa and promised to stop worrying so much and to live in the moment.  I did pretty well for the month of March, but slowly my and some of April.  Slowly but surely, my old self has creeped back in.  Ugh!  All this worrying is stressing me out!

The good news is my weight is doing just fine.  I have noticed that I am toned and muscled.  I am strong and though I could lose 10 pounds, I am happy.  Just worried.

So for today, I will try not to worry about every little thing.  I will try to live in the moment.  Hmmm.  Maybe I will try that meditation thing.

Wish me luck!

June Cleaver, Julia Child and I are best friends!

You would think that while I am currently unemployed, I would be blogging like crazy.  I have found that I am very busy.  I clean the house, apply for jobs, cook and exercise. Take the exercise out of it and I have become June Cleaver/Julia Child!  Never thought I would enjoy cooking and cleaning.   Now I don't vacuum in pearls, more like exercise gear, but I do get excited when I learn how to really clean my stainless steel sink from Pinterest.

Yesterday, for the first time, I had my hand up a chicken's butt, pulling out icky stuff and putting in lemons and vegetables.  Never had done that before.  Ew.  I now understand why Julia Child would get pickled on wine while cooking.  It is hard work!  After spending over 2 hours prepping and setting off the fire alarm from smoke, I make a damn good chicken, but I was exhausted!  To think that I could get almost the same thing at Tom Thumb for $6.00!

The best thing about my time off is I am learning loads about myself.  I am happy.  I have been reading several books about directions I could take in life.  I know I want to do something, but just haven't zeroed in on what.  So, while I look for my next career, I will continue to find out how to get my whites, whiter and try to make delicious meals for the current main wage earner (husband).  So far, I have mastered chicken, meatloaf, pot roast and salmon.  I wonder what will be next???

Job Search? Blind Date?

Sorry I haven't written in awhile.  I was dealing with the closing of TLCEdge and am now deep into looking for my new career.  I hate looking for a job!  I have worked in the lapbanding business for over 10 years and have loved every minute of it.  I was hoping to continue doing so but so far, no go.
The hardest part of looking for a job is interviewing.  You spend time with someone and you chat, you get to know each other, you share a few laughs and then you get a thanks but no thanks email.

Sort of like a Blind Date.
Some dates you know it won't work out the moment you meet.  Other dates, well you are hopeful.  You kind of hit it off.  You are hopeful he will call.  Then you get the rejection.  Ugh!  I hated blind dates.  Eventually, I was able to turn it around and had loads of dates, some good, some bad and was not hurt when I got a rejection.  I did meet my husband through a blind date!  I need to toughen up that muscle again.

Weight wise?  Staying the same but I do plan to tell you all about the enormous amount of exercising I have been doing on a day to day basis in my next blog.

Everyone Needs Help!

As you all know, I love to shop!  I only wish I had great style.  I think people are born with the talent to put things together.  My friend Paige always looks stylish.  Everything she wears looks like she just threw it on with no thought and it is perfect!  I know Paige and I know there is thought put into her look.  She has the gift of style.  I need someone to put me together.  Those of you that are older and can remember, I want someone to ‘garanimal’ me.  Garanimals were a group of clothes that when you matched the shirt tag with the pant tag, you knew it went together.  The way fashion is today, it is twice as complicated.  You want to look like you are not trying to look put together.  The whole thing makes my brain hurt.

This is where Rebecca Rigby comes in.  She is manager of the Nordstrom Wedding Suite at Northpark.  She has great style!  She is also a personal shopper.  She is awesome!  I first met Rebecca when both step-daughters needed clothing for my niece’s wedding last year.  For each girl, Rebecca had pulled a nice selection of dresses for each to try on.  She has an eye for on trend items and was able to do jewelry and shoes in the same visit.  Both girls loved their outfits and we all had a happy shopping experience.  I met with Rebecca again when we were shopping for bridal dresses.  She was so patient with us!  Though we did not choose a dress at Nordstrom, it was for her lack for trying.

Lately, I have gone to Rebecca in search of the daunting Step-Mother of the Bride dress.  She did a terrific job!  I have a great long and short option that are both reasonably priced.  The best part is that she does not cost extra.  Through my multiple trips to Nordstrom to try on different items, we have added several other clothing items that I now wear quite often.  I am starting to look like I have style!  She can do this for you as well!  With weight loss, people need to learn what works with their new body.  They need to get to have items tailored to fit their body.  I would advise you to call and make an appointment with Rebecca.  Have her help you get a few basics and maybe a trendy item as well.  She is good.  I may not havegreat style, but I have a Rebecca!  I think everyone needs one.

Time for the Big Girl/Boy Panties

This week I have been thinking about the people and things that help me be me.  We all have a ‘staff’ that helps us in our day to day life.  For instance, I am challenged when it comes to height.  Even petite pants are too long for me if I am wearing them with flats.  For a few months now, I have been turning the hem under because I have not had time to get to the tailor.  I did that Saturday.  Though I don’t see him very often, I am very grateful to my tailor because he uses his skill and helps me look my best.

I also consider my LapBand part of my ‘staff’.  It helps me be me and not a huge me.  If I follow the rules:

Go slow

Chew well

Drink 64 oz water

60 grams of protein

Exercise 5 times a week

No drinking and eating at the same time

I can maintain a healthy weight and feel really good.  When I do not use my tool, I tend to feel sluggish and gain weight.

Do you make good use of your ‘staff’?  Are you following the band rules or are you making excuses?   Sometimes people will ask me why everyone is not successful with the LapBand.  Some people refuse to use their tool.  Something keeps them from success.  A year ago, I ignored my LapBand for about 6 months and gained 30 pounds.  Ugh!  It was hard to look in the mirror and finally own up to the fact that I had become lazy in my maintenance.  I had to put my big girl panties on and face the music.  I did and lost 32 pounds!  Through the holidays, I ate lots of chocolate and fritos and gained back 3 pounds.  Big girl panties are back on and I am using my ‘staff’ to loose those pounds and help me to be the thinner healthier me..

It is a new year with new beginnings.  Are you helping you be you?  Are you making good use of your ‘staff’?    Grab your Big girl/boy panties and join me!

Stop for the New Year

I so wish I knew exactly where I got this so I can give proper credit, but these 30 STOPs are wonderful.  I am reposting as I am truly going to try to stop doing some unhealthy behaviors.  It is not short, but well worth the read.

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.