Do you have Toxic Friends?

Over the last few days, I have had several conversations with friends and family members about friends.  I guess with the year coming to a close, quite a few people seem to be re-assessing their relationships.  A good friend is very hard to find.  I have lots of acquaintances, but very few good friends.  I think you know what I am talking about.  These are the friends that if they got a phone call from me at 3am asking for help, they would just ask where I need them to go.  I have less than a handful and I consider myself lucky.  Way too often we lose the real definition of friend and allow some people who do not really care about you, make big decisions for you.  Not a good idea.

Now you are wondering what this has to do with weight loss?  Loads!  Think about it.  Are there friends that you call when you want to go and "pig out" on certain foods?  Do you have friends that are 'fat' friends?  Have you noticed that some people haven't been as supportive of your weight loss journey as you thought?  They complain that you are no longer any fun to go out with or that you are changing (and to them, not for the better).  These people are not your friends!  Friends support you!  Friends want you to be successful, even if they lose an eating buddy.   A true friend has your best interest in mind and not what you can do for them.

Perhaps with the coming new year, it might be a good time to think about your relationships.  Are some of those toxic?  Maybe it is time to count your blessings for the close friends you do have and put some distance between you and the Toxic friends.  They really aren't your friends.

Focus on the Priority

I love all the great food that shows up for the holidays.  I get so tickled at patients who put off their fill because of Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I must agree that it is hard to turn down aunt Edna's special cake that she only makes during the holiday.  I am just as guilty as the next person.  I need to lose a few pounds, yet I don't want to interrupt my holiday feeding frenzy in order to get my weight back to where it was 6 months ago.  There are white chocolate covered pecans to make and chocolate ginger cookies to consume!  Feed me, feed me, feed me!  Love the holidays!  I can be 'good' in January.

Isn't that how we all got big in the first place?  We noticed that we are gaining weight, but tomorrow is always the better time to start a diet.  Our pants got tight and we just bought the next size up, or better yet: stretch waist!  We 'tomorrowed' ourselves to unhealthy.  I think it is time to focus on the priority.  Health.  Last month at TLCEdge, Mary McNeill, our Registered Dietitian, presented a holiday eating program.  She showed us how we can enjoy some wonderful recipes and not have all the fat.  There was tasting and all around yummyness.  I have even recreated a few of her recipes with success.  If I can do it, anyone can.

So, I plan on enjoying the holidays, but within reason.  I will have a bite or two of the special, once a year, recipes, but I will give myself permission to NOT finish what is served to me.  I won't deny myself, but I certainly don't have to eat half the cake!  I am not going to get swept up with the excitement and eat and drink myself silly.  I will  weigh the same or less on January 1st that I weigh today.  I will continue to exercise throughout vacation.  I will pay attention to the scale and make sure I weigh everyday so nothing sneaks up on me.

Will you join me in a 'no gain' Christmas?

THE 'WEIGHT' OF IT ALL

"Weigh yourself once a week" is one of the most important rules we have for weight loss surgery patients, band or sleeve.  I ask pre-op patients to tell me how often they weigh themselves and almost every time, they state that they don't even own a scale!  This is not good.  I believe that many of us get up in weight because we don't weigh.  We don't pay attention.  It is easier to wear the "fat" jeans or the stretchy pants.  Before you know it, we are in trouble.

At TLCEdge, we want the patient to weigh once a week during weight loss.  It is awfully tempting to jump on the scale several times a day when you are losing weight.  At one point, I was weighing after every bathroom break, just to see if I lost any more.  This can drive you a bit bonkers.  Going to the other extreme and not weighing at all is a wrong step as well.  If you don't weigh, then how will you know where you are in your progress?  We tell banded patients, when the scale says the same number as last week, and you are adding food, you should book a fill.  Weighing is very important to stay on target.

Once you are at goal, the scale plays a very important role in your life.  No one wants to go back to their heavy weight.  If you weigh everyday, then you will be on top of any potential problems that may come your way.  I have my scale in front of my underwear drawer.  I must step on the scale in order to get my underwear.  This keeps me responsible for where I am in my progress.  I encourage people to mark their scales with a 5 and 10 pound mark.  Women will naturally go up and down a few pounds every month, but if you have the scale marked, you will know when it might be going from bloating to gaining.

If you don't own one, go get one.  Tanita makes a good scale.  There are many reasonably priced ones on the market.  It doesn't have to be a fancy scale, just one that will keep track of your weight.  Get on it once a week if you are losing and everyday if you are at goal.  Pay attention! 

Don't Gobble Gobble it all up!

The holiday season is upon us!  Here are some helpful hints to help you survive an Banded or Sleeved holiday! 
COOKING
Are you the chef?  Here are some tips.
1. Eat before you start cooking.
2. Designate a taster and taste only if you think you must.
3. If cooking is a family event, choose a task that involves something you would not be tempted to eat.  Make the rolls.  Clean the pots and pans.  You will burn a few calories along the way.
DINNER
1. Be Realistic!  You can't eat like before, so don't even try.  Take little bits, not huge spoonfuls.  Serve yourself with a teaspoon and not the large serving spoon.  Have a bite of everything, but just a bite.
2. If possible, serve yourself from a salad plate.  You will feel like you are eating more.
3. Go slow and chew well.  You do not need to track with everyone to hurry up and get seconds.  Go slow, you won't be needing seconds this year.  Cut your food into nickel sized bites so you can enjoy pleasant conversation.
4. If your family is like mine, every conversation is centered around the food.  Expand your horizons this year.  Read the paper and watch the news before the dinner.  Come up with interesting tidbits to pass along.  Think about who will be sitting at your table.  Ask them questions about themselves.  Listen.  You will be amazed at what you will learn.
EMOTIONAL
1. If a family member seems overly concerned with every morsel of food you are eating or if someone tells you that they see no weight loss, then explain to them that this is a process.  You are doing exactly what your Doctor wants you to do.  Thank them for their concern, but remind them that this is your adventure and you will be fine.
2. Have fun!  Don't stress!  If it ever gets to be too much, make yourself useful in the kitchen.  I have washed many plates in the past to avoid difficult situations.

The best part about a banded or sleeved holiday?  We usually lose weight!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Water, Water Everywhere...

One of the most important rules for good weight loss (especially with the band) is:

No Eating or Drinking at the Same Time.

This is the hardest rule to get used to and the easiest rule to break.  Maybe if it was explained a bit more, one would likely work hard to follow this rule.  When you drink, you flush food through your band or stomach.  Therefore, when you flush, you can get more food down.  Mary McNeill, registered dietitian, compares it to tuna in a sink.  If you dump a can of tuna in the sink, it will sit there.  If you run water in the sink, the tuna goes down the drain.  We want the food to sit in the upper pouch for awhile as it will help you to feel full. The goal is to lose weight, so it is best not to flush.  At TLCEdge, we ask our patients to stop drinking a few minutes before they sit down to their meal.  We also want you to wait 30 minutes to an hour after the meal before you drink.  This sounds so hard to do.  We do not need moisture to enjoy a meal.  This is Texas, and we are all used to the 3 glasses of tea lunch.  When preparing for weight loss surgery, I often ask the patient to start to train oneself to not drink during a meal.  It is more of a mental thing than a physical need.

Often, patients follow this rule for a period of time, and then somehow, get off track.  They start drinking with their meals, then they wonder why they are not losing weight.  If your weight loss is at a standstill, you might want to re-examine what you are doing during mealtime.  Have you "let it slide" a bit and are now washing everything down?  Don't let the water drown the weight loss!

Slow Down There

Remember when you were a kid and your Mom would fuss at you for eating too fast?  She might have said, "Slow down, where's the fire"? My dad use to say "Slow down and taste the vanilla".  Today, I find myself saying to the men in my family "If you have to angle your bite to get it into your mouth, then it needs to be cut in half".

In today's world, the media has done a great job in trying to get us moving on to the next thing as quick as possible.  You see people eating and running all the time.  Next time you are out driving at lunch, look around and notice how many people are eating and driving at the same time.  We are much too busy to take 15 minutes out of our lives and enjoy a meal at a table.  Just as driving and texting is not safe, driving and eating is not safe for a weight loss surgery patient.

The most important rule you can learn for any weight loss surgery is to SLOW DOWN and CHEW your food.  Sounds easy huh?  Those of us who have had surgery will tell you that it isn't easy to do.  One must be able to concentrate on eating.  If you get distracted, you will revert back to the old ways and swallow a bite of not well chewed food.  Chances are, it might come back for a encore performance! 

When I first married my loving husband and added 5 children to my life, dinner was a whirlwind!  I would have taken about 3 bites, when everyone at the table would be finished.  I would encourage them to leave the table, but they insisted on waiting for me to be finished.  So, I would have many pairs of eyes staring at me whilst I ate.  Well, that awkwardness would guarantee a spit up as I would attempt to eat quicker and would not chew my food.  I finally spoke to my husband and asked his support in tracking with me (eating at my pace) at meals, so I would be able to keep dinner down.  He agreed and since he slowed down, he lost 10 pounds without even trying!  Go slow, chew well!

Sometimes I feel Like a Broken Record...Protein, Protein, Protein!

In my position at TLCEdge, I give a lot of seminars.  I also get to speak to loads of post operative patients.  The one rule I mention the most is PROTEIN!  Protein runs your body.  It keeps your hair on your head, keeps your head from hurting, keeps you awake and functioning!  Protein is good and necessary for survival.  One of the rules is to have at minimum, 60 grams of protein a day.  Most people need a little bit more, but that is based on a calculation that I leave to all the Dietitians and Nutritionists.

The best way to figure how much you need to keep your body moving, is to look at your hand.  Figure on your palm for protein and your fingers being veggies and starches.  The palm, its size and thickness,  is what you need 3 times a day for your body.  Now I am short (5'1") and my palm is relatively small.  When I look at mine, it is the size of a small hamburger pattie, or a 2" by 3" piece of chicken or fish.  The thickness is about 1/2 inch.  My husband is 6'1".  His palm is much bigger and he needs more to survive.  Trust me, if he ate my size palm for 3 meals, he would be very grumpy!  You don't have to weigh and measure everything.  Who has time?  Just eyeball your amounts, but be sure and get at least a palm's worth 3 times a day.

When you get your protein in front of you (this would be chicken, fish, pork, beef, beans), before you touch anything on your plate, cut your protein in half and eat one half before you smell, taste or touch anything else on your plate!  Sometimes we get full very quickly.  If you are eating your protein first, then you will get full on what you need.  If you don't give your body enough protein, it goes into a starvation mode and you won't lose weight.  I know it sounds weird, but it goes into caveman mode and doesn't release anything cause it doesn't know when you are going to feed it again.

Always know that in weight loss, our bodies work against us.  If you don't give it enough of what it needs, it won't give you what you want (weight loss).  So go out there and get your protein-Yum!

Detective O'Kelly On The Job!

Upon the advice of my friend Paige, I am starting a blog.  I am the Senior Program Director for TLCEdge.  I help people get weight loss surgery.  I truly love my job!  You see, I was one of the FDA trial patients for the lapband back in 1999.  I lost and kept off 200 pounds.  It works.  I have been in the weight loss business in one form or another for almost 10 years.  I have seen many people go from unhealthy with low life expectancy to healthy and wearing regular clothing sizes!  I love it when I don't recognize a patient.  That means they have lost alot of weight.  It is wonderful to hear from someone who is in a dressing room trying on a regular size, or getting an email from someone who no longer has to take their diabetes medication.  Those are truly blessed moments of my job.

There are days when no one is moving forward or losing weight.  When everyone is grumpy and says this band isn't working for them.  Those are the days that I really have to use my  brain.  I go over the rules and the specifics for their lifestyle.  I get to become a detective.  There is always an answer, I just have to help people find that key.  It might be that they are doing the same cardiovascular exercise and not mixing it up enough.  Did you know that your body can be your biggest enemy during weight loss?  Let me explain.

When you are working out, if you are getting on the treadmill three mornings a week and walking for 30 minutes at 3.0 speed at 8am in the morning, your body gets used to that.  Though your treadmill says you are burning a certain amount of calories, you are actually burning less and less each time.  Your body gets used to what you are doing and goes into a 'protect' mode.  It is saving the calories to burn later (just in case you get chased by a dinosaur).  If you use the treadmill for your exercise, please "change it up"!  Go up and down in the speed and up and down in the incline every few minutes.  Don't ever let your body get used to what you are doing.

If you are someone who walks outside, then walk like you are being followed and never take the same route twice.  This is also good advice for women who work out alone.  Safety first!  Trick your body into working harder for you.  If you are a gym type of person, be sure to switch it up.  Use all of the cardio equipment and have no set pattern.  Most people don't like to exercise, myself included.  But, I want to make sure that when I do exercise, I get the full benefits of the work out.  Trick your body into working hard for you!