Change and Fear Go Hand in Hand

My LapBand is making me sick.  It needs to come out of my body.  That means surgery.  Dang!  I am not the type of person who likes to resort to surgery on a whim.  I have thought this out since I got Pneumonia at Thanksgiving.  I also added 15 pounds since the fluid was removed from my band.  I looked over my journal from 2014 and noticed I had been sick with fever 3 additional times.  It seemed like I was always dealing with a stuffy nose or some sort of sinus issue.


I don't like being sick all the time.  It interferes with my life.  Once the fluid was removed, I ate everything.  Pants got tight and my extensive wardrobe dwindled to just a few pieces that fit.  I was not about to go and buy anything new as I was not going to remain at this size.


On Tuesday, January 27, I am going to convert to the gastric sleeve.  I have done all the thinking and research and believe this will be the best step for me.  My surgeons did loads of conversions last year and once I made the decision, I have found that quite a few of my old banded buddies have had to convert to the sleeve as well.  Seems that I am following a trend. 


Change.  ARGH!  My life will drastically change for the next few months.  Currently I am on liquids prior to surgery.   I have already gotten through breaking the sugar addiction and am impressed that I didn't kill anyone.  Just a side note:  we really have way too much sugar in regular foods.  Eat clean people!  Read labels and know what is going in your mouth.  Low fat products usually mean added sugar.


I feel like I am getting a reset.  Am I scared?  Of course!  I trust my team and my decision.  It has been great getting tips and tricks from my patients.  They are so supportive.  So, stay tuned for a completely new point of view. 


Oh and if you could say a little prayer for me on Tuesday morning, I would be grateful!

What A Pain!

In December, I broke my middle and ring finger of my right hand.  During that bad patch of icy weather, I slipped and as I fell, I did the splits.  Luckily, I do this in my Bar Method classes every day, so there was no pain from that.  I broke my fingers trying to break my fall.  At first I thought I had jammed them.  I figured that the pain would go away after a few days.  Let me tell you, the pain was exquisite. 

 I had a lot going on with Christmas and our youngest daughter's wedding, so I pushed through the pain.  An advantage of working at a hospital, is I can't flip a quarter without hitting a doctor or a nurse.  I finally consulted a nurse who said she could tell by looking at them that they had been broken.  Since time had passed, I was told to wrap it for a few days and it would be OK.

It is not OK.  It will never be OK again.  I now have a way to mark when things happen in my life.  Now things have happened either pre or post finger pain.  They hurt all the time.  They hurt while I type this blog.  I wince when I wash my hands.  Shake my hand?  Hell no!  Needing the right hand to lift something or stop a dog?  Not happening without a small scream attached.

For two months I have put up with this pain.  It isn't the pass out kind of pain, but an annoying constant ache.  The kind where you want to slap something.  Hard.  Then of course there are times when the sharp pain comes because I lifted a glass or something silly.

Why might I be writing a blog about my injured fingers?  Well one thing is that if you see me, please don't try to shake my hand.  I adore you, but lets tap elbows for awhile.  After all, it is cold and flu season.  The other reason is that I knew something was wrong, but I just pushed through the pain thinking that things would get better soon.  I didn't make time to take care of me.

I hear story after story of people who have had weight loss surgery tell me they are having issues but they know it will get better soon.  They are choosing not to take care of themselves.  They do not put their health first.  Then they end up having to have another surgery or are diagnosed vitamin deficient and must spend a year getting back to normal health.  Are you having issues?  When was the last time you checked in with your surgeon's office?  Might be time to pay attention to the warning signs. Make the time to take care of yourself.

By the way, I can now tell the weather by the ache in my fingers.  Oh what fun! 

Dancing With Bullets!

This is my year of stepping through fear.  To challenge myself.  This past weekend I did something I thought I would never do.  I went to training for a Concealed Handgun License.  For several years, I had toyed with the idea of buying a gun for protection purposes.  A friend convinced me to attend the class, then decide on a gun. 

We booked the class in January and the first date available was a 12 hour class on April 27.  The class was packed.  I am grateful to Mark at Elite Handgun Academy.  He made a long class fun and informative.  Before class started, there was a list of guns for purchase and I spent some time perusing over what would be my future gun.

The material was interesting and I never got bored, but as the day wore on, I wanted a gun less and less.  As a matter of fact, I began to dread the idea of going to the range and shooting at a human looking target.  Now don't get me wrong, I can shoot.  My family has a farm, so I know my way around a shotgun.  I have no problem shooting a snake.  In my opinion, the only good snake is a dead snake, but I digress.

Once at the range, I was scared.  I realized I don't like the thought of ever aiming a gun at a human being, even a paper rendition. During the qualifying test, I found myself shaking a bit and having to stop and take some deep breaths.  I got through it and passed!  If my family or myself were in a life threatening situation, no problem.  I pray that never happens. 

My take away?  Guns are scary.  I think everyone should get their CHL.  I now know all about gun safety and can defend myself and family if ever necessary.  This is the year of stepping through my fear.  I stepped to my edge and jumped.  I survived.

What can you do that will challenge you?  Want to talk about it?
www.losinggracefully.com 
 

No More Buts

I have noticed lately that there are way too many buts in my life.  I am sure you know which buts I am talking about. "I meant to but..." type of but.

Friends, clients, and even family seem to be using these words quite often.  I won't go into detail about them, but I want to mainly talk about my buts.  I am butting myself silly.   What benefit is the word but?  It is an excuse word.  You know after every but, an excuse will follow.

Actually, I have been writing this one post for 2 weeks because I seem to get stuck in the buts.  Ugh!

I am forcing myself to get through this so I can post something completely different tomorrow. 

The big promise I am making to you and myself is that I will try to drop the excuse but from my vocabulary.  No more buts!

Take The Leap!

I have not written in a few weeks but so much has happened that I believe I will have plenty of material for multiple blogs! 
That is me flying through the air.  A few weeks ago I went on a girls trip to my favorite place, Miraval in Tuscon, Arizona.  It has become a very special place to me.  Last year, while at Miraval, I learned about being Mindful and made the decision to become a life coach.  I spent the rest of the year studying and getting certified.

This year, I decided to try the Quantum Leap.  This is where you climb up a 35 foot telephone pole and get on to a one foot by 2 foot board, stand up and look around, say something profound and jump!  When I saw the climb, I thought I would never make it.  They made me go first.  Deep breath!  So, harnessed up and shaking, I started up the ladder.  Made it up there pretty quickly with no issues.  Now I needed to climb onto the actual pole.  The pegs or staples are spaced for normal height people.  I had to wrap my hand around the pole as I was climbing up to the next staple.  I was amazed that I could lift my body weight so easily.  I was able to get to the top at a normal pace.  Then I had to climb onto the teeny tiny platform.

It was a windy day and the pole was swaying from that height.  My legs were shaking as well.  I took awhile before I stood up.  I didn't want to give up and just fall.  The goal was to stand up on the top of the pole.  So, I did.  I stood up and just jumped. 

IT WAS AWESOME!

I never thought that I would be able to climb up a pole and jump off the pole 35 feet in the air.  I was amazed that I wasn't scared to leap.  I knew all was ok.

My take away from the exercise?  It is good to experience things that will make your heart beat a bit faster. I am in better shape than I thought.  It is ok to trust.  The rewards are amazing!  I still giggle when I think about it or see the pictures.

What will you find out about yourself if you were going to climb up and leap off of a 35 ft telephone pole?  How about if you go ahead and commit to that food plan.  What's the worst that could happen?  The best that could happen?

I can help you get to the point where you can enjoy a challange.  www.losinggracefully.com
Contact me for a free 30 minute session.

A Fixer No More!

Personally, I think the picture is creepy, but it drives the point of my blog.  You see, I am a fixer.  I am happy to fix any problem you have, whether you want me to or not.  This is not always a good thing.

Some people need to fix their own problems even if I can see the obvious solution.  Now you might think I am speaking of kids.  Nope.  I am talking about full grown adults.  These past few days I have shut my mouth in the face of several issues.  I have chosen not to be involved in some decision making because I usually come out looking like the bad guy when I do.  This time I honestly wasn't up for the job.  I have been working on my certification in weight loss coaching and had learned that being a fixer is not the best thing.  So, I am fixing only for myself these days.

I think stepping back was the right thing to do, but the fall out is hard and the problem has not been  solved in a good way.  There was a degree of anger as I would not step in where I usually do.  This brought to mind when I lost a load of weight and my position in the family dynamic changed.  Have any of you experienced this phenomena?  In every family, each person has a certain position.  The smart one, the silly one, the fat one, etc.  My position many years and pounds ago, was the victim.  As I lost weight, my family didn't know what to do with me.  They had to adjust to the new more confident me.  Same thing happened at work.  At the time, it drove my boss crazy because she couldn't dump work on me anymore.  It was wonderful to lose all that weight, but there was an awkward time while everyone adjusted.

I guess I am going through that awkward time now as well.  For 50 years, if I saw a problem, I figured out how to fix it.  I am a planner.  I actually work scenarios through my head to see all possible outcomes and then go with the best.  I try to plan for any hiccups.  An extremely simple example would be, if you have out of town guest coming, and currently people sleeping in what will be their bed, when is the best time to do the sheets?  Simple answer, find out when the person currently occupying said bed is getting up and plan your washing schedule as well as chore schedule around him leaving said bed.  My brain does this all day!

In coaching, I cannot fix.  I can only hold a mirror up to the client and then it is up to the client on how to fix.  Sounds easy?  Not really.  When the client wants to change, it is an amazing process!  It was hard for me to stop fixing people and to coach them on fixing themselves.  It is even harder to apply that into my own life.  It's working and there are some amazing changes taking place.  I wonder if I will always have that tendency to fix, or if after much practice, it will be normal to not fix and let the person fix themselves.

Here's to a new year, new life and new career!  I am so excited about the things to come.

Pity Party of One

I notice that I have gained about 5 pounds lately.  Now, I just lost my dog, so I could certainly blame the gain on mourning.  To me that is a cop out.  I am a weight loss coach, I know better.  So, sitting here with a blank page before me, I decided it is time to forgive.

I really wanted this summer to be fantastic.  Instead, it totally sucked.  I took a class that would change my life, but it was stressful and overwhelming.  The work was completely different than what I knew before, therefore I had to change everything about how I worked with clients.  That is SO hard.  Then I had a series of family issues.  Some sad, some horrifying, some frustrating.  These issues are still going on, and I need to get comfortable with them.

The stress of the summer gave me shingles.  Not fun at all.  Then there is the West Nile situation.  I am scared to be outside for more than a few minutes.  Oh, I turned 50!  Wanted to be so excited about it, but so far, phooey!  The final smack in my face, my dog had to be put down last week. I am exhausted.  I think I am cursed and I need to have some sort of exorcism.

Well today I am saying enough!  Whatever funky cloud I have been under needs to go away.  No more the victim.  I don't want to feel bad, in pain, anger, or fat.  Back to juicing.  I have been exercising a lot, but I will focus more.  I will forgive myself and those around me.  I will start laughing more and worrying less.  I will get my final certification for coaching.  I will move mountains in my life so others can move mountains in theirs.

Have you had a crummy summer?  Want to join me in a Spectacular Fall?

Time for the Big Girl/Boy Panties

This week I have been thinking about the people and things that help me be me.  We all have a ‘staff’ that helps us in our day to day life.  For instance, I am challenged when it comes to height.  Even petite pants are too long for me if I am wearing them with flats.  For a few months now, I have been turning the hem under because I have not had time to get to the tailor.  I did that Saturday.  Though I don’t see him very often, I am very grateful to my tailor because he uses his skill and helps me look my best.

I also consider my LapBand part of my ‘staff’.  It helps me be me and not a huge me.  If I follow the rules:

Go slow

Chew well

Drink 64 oz water

60 grams of protein

Exercise 5 times a week

No drinking and eating at the same time

I can maintain a healthy weight and feel really good.  When I do not use my tool, I tend to feel sluggish and gain weight.

Do you make good use of your ‘staff’?  Are you following the band rules or are you making excuses?   Sometimes people will ask me why everyone is not successful with the LapBand.  Some people refuse to use their tool.  Something keeps them from success.  A year ago, I ignored my LapBand for about 6 months and gained 30 pounds.  Ugh!  It was hard to look in the mirror and finally own up to the fact that I had become lazy in my maintenance.  I had to put my big girl panties on and face the music.  I did and lost 32 pounds!  Through the holidays, I ate lots of chocolate and fritos and gained back 3 pounds.  Big girl panties are back on and I am using my ‘staff’ to loose those pounds and help me to be the thinner healthier me..

It is a new year with new beginnings.  Are you helping you be you?  Are you making good use of your ‘staff’?    Grab your Big girl/boy panties and join me!

Shopping Like a Fat Girl

I love to shop!  If I could, I would make it a career.  Walking through stores and smelling the new clothes, seeing how they display them, and seeing what flies off the shelves gives me a thrill.  I adore it when I find a solution to a problem.  It is fun to see the newest thing.  The cream that will make you look younger.  The jeans that will make you skinny.  I love it when I get together with my girlfriends and we all tell of the newest thing each of us have seen.    My problem is that when shopping for myself, I tend to buy the first thing I see, instead of being more picky.

I believe this comes from my pre-band, fat past.  When I was big, there wasn't a huge selection at the stores.  If I found something that fit and didn't look totally awful, I would get one in every color.  Now I can afford to be picky.  I have lots of choices in clothing, but I still operate with the former fat girl attitude.

I do not need grab the first thing because it fits.  Go for getting something because it makes me look fantastic!  Less clothing with more substance.  One perfect pair of black pants instead of 10 pairs of black pants that just look ok.  I need to make sure I take everything I buy to my tailor to make it fit my 5'1" frame. 

Lots of us when we lose enough weight to be in regular clothing, kind of go crazy with the shopping.  We buy entire wardrobes of size 14 clothes, when we are only going to lose more weight.  Since we "settled" for so long, we tend to forget that a tailor can do wonders with fit.  A tailor can help you transition through sizes during yoru weight loss.  We also tend to buy some age inappropriate clothing.  I did it when I got to goal too.  It is great that you can wear a size 6, but at 55 years old, you do not need to wear a halter top and mini skirt.  Just sayin...

So, what do I want you to take away from this little rant?  First of all, don't buy out the store because you can fit into it.  Go for quality over quantity.  Dress for your age.  Finally, when you go shopping, take me with you!  Let me live vicariously through you!

The Meantime

There are several times in my life that I have been in the "meantime".  The meantime is when you have finished a chapter in life and are waiting for the next chapter to start.  Does this sound familiar to you?  I read the book, "In The  Meantime" by Ivana Van Zandt years ago when I was waiting for my husband to enter my life. 

Currently, I am in the meantime in some areas of my life.  In other areas, I am in the thick of it and it allows the "meantime" parts to be OK.  My beautiful step daughter is getting married and I am in the midst of wedding planning.  I am busy! 

Everyone who is in the midst of losing weight right now is in the "meantime".  Compare it to having all your clothes be too big, but not wanting to buy a nice new wardrobe because you are not close to your goal.  Leave it to me to make a clothing reference! 

Sometimes it would drive me crazy being in the "meantime"!  You feel like you are in the starting gate, ready to burst forward, but you have to wait.    Argh! 

How do you get through this time with your sanity in tact?  Get busy!  Pick up a craft,  start cleaning out your closet and eventually every room in the house, or better yet-exercise.  Find something positive and healthy to focus on and DO IT!

Learn french, go back to school, do all the things you have been meaning to but haven't had a chance.  You have the time now!  You are spending less time in the grocery store and cooking.  Get out there and add something to your life!

The "meantime" will end.  You will get to your goal and if you make good use of your time, you will not only be healthier, but better all around.  What are you going to do while you are in your weight loss "meantime"?

DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?

A patient asked me yesterday, what is the biggest adjustment one has to make with the Band or Sleeve?
I answered, "You have to plan".

I currently have my band tight enough to lose weight.  When the band is tight, you need to be sure that you are getting enough protein and plenty of water.  You have to plan for that.  You cannot chug a gallon of water to make up for not drinking any liquids all day.  You have to plan to space your protein out at intervals and not eat a side of a cow in one sitting. 

Even with a sleeve, you have to make plans.  Small amounts is all you can take in.  If you eat too much, you will feel queasy and may even spit up.  Going slow and chewing well are very important with either procedure.  If you wait to eat until you are very hungry, you may eat too quickly and get an air bubble trapped in there or not chew your food well.

I hate to exercise!  If I don't have some sort of plan, I will find any excuse to avoid working out.  I have to think about what I am doing.  Remember, your body works on predictive behavior.  It wants to store energy.  Your job is to get it to expend  energy.  Therefore, one needs to switch it up.  Don't do the same thing all the time.  Trick your body into working harder for you and then you don't have to work out as much!

Any weight loss surgery is a commitment, but you need to make some adjustments.  I make a plan and stick to it.  I might have lunch plans or I might have a busy schedule and no time for lunch.  When I am busy, I need to take a protein bar with me or maybe bring some turkey and cheese roll ups to cover lunch.  I don't need to be too hungry and I don't need to look for options at Walgreens or 7-11.

So I plan.  I think of my day or what is coming up for me and I adjust accordingly.  So, if you are thinking about weight loss surgery, do you have a plan?

Today I am just "over it"!  I am tired of the heat (way too soon to be saying that), tired of the traffic, tired of work, tired of exercising, tired of watching what I eat, etc.  All I want to do is float in my blow up pool and read.

The reality check is that I cannot float and read all the time because I would be bored after the first day.  I would feel like I needed to be doing something.  My husband says I never just give myself permission to do nothing.  I admire that he can shut off the day and just watch some mindless movie.  Me?  I must be DOING something while watching TV.  Pay bills, run through my endless stream of magazines, clean something.

With all the things I keep doing, you would think I kept a nice, neat and tidy house.  No.  It looks like most people's houses.  Well, the ones who don't have Mighty Maids on speed dial.  It isn't  ready for "Hoarders" either.  Just "cleanish".

This past weekend, I had a neighbor who loves to organize come over and help me clean out the art closet.  She has had surgery and I am trying to keep her busy with things that won't have her lifting.  I only allowed her to point and direct.  I did all the moving of crap.  It looks wonderful and I was exhausted after all the work.  This Saturday we are doing my closet.  I am terrified!  She will be ruthless.  I won't have any clothes left! 

I guess I am delivering this random stream of consciousness with a purpose.  I plan on giving myself permission to do nothing one evening in the next week.   What do you need to give yourself permission to do?

MOTIVATION

What motivates you to lose weight?  Better health?  That short skirt hanging in the closet?  An upcoming event?
My sister and I have been on the "Bridal Diet".  Now this is no specific diet, but it is one that has motivated both of us to lose about 15 pounds a piece.  We both are shooting for at least 5 more pounds.  We are motivated because her daughter is getting married this July and we want to look good in the pictures.  Even our husbands have jumped in on the dieting.  We all are working out like crazy and trying to drink less and eat better.  It hasn't been too hard because we all have a common goal.  I must say I do have an advantage over them by having the LapBand, but I don't have it so tight that I can't eat anything, just small portions.
It is funny how weight can creep up on you.  We have all been complacent about our weight for quite awhile, but once my niece was engaged, we decided we were all too heavy.  Even banded, I had let a few pounds slide on.  Granted, I had Mono last year and that threw me backwards, but I should have started paying attention to the pounds that had jumped on, long before March of this year.  It feels good to be back into all my clothes.  I am sleeping better!  My husband isn't snoring as much!  It is a positive all around!  Maybe not a complete positive, my pants are getting too loose and I believe that there is shopping in my future.  Husband isn't too happy about that!  My sister is looking fantastic!  She did some shopping and looks fabulous in her new dresses.  She will do well as the Mother of the Bride.
So, what will happen when the wedding is over?  How will we all stay motivated to continue on and either lose a few more pounds or maintain our new healthier status?  What motivates you to keep going?  I am open to all suggestions.

I HATE MAY!

I don't really hate May, but it is always so crazy!  Everyone is busy!  Kids are doing their final recitals, final events, end of year exams, etc.  There are graduations all over the place!  There are so many things going on, that it becomes easier to pick up dinner from the drive through greasy spoon down the street.

It is so hard to stay focused on weight loss.  Who has time to plan?  Too busy to drink enough water.  Working out...are you kidding?  Too busy driving everyone to their events!  Sound familiar? 

It is a busy month, but not too busy to stay healthy.  All it takes is a little planning. While you are waiting for whatever event to begin, take out pen and paper and plan your meals.  Every morning, throw a water bottle in your purse.  On Saturday or Sunday, make some chicken breasts or several cassaroles and freeze them for use during the week.  Find time to workout.  I know it is a pain, but we all have to do it!  Just suck it up and go for it. 

Hang in there, June is right around the corner!

YOU'RE SO VAIN!

I fell last Friday night.  On my face!
I was walking our dog and tripped.  Dog went one way and I went the other, I stopped my fall with my face.  I was able to hit redial on my phone and call my husband.  I screamed for him to grab a towel and come get me.  My fabulous dog stayed by my side and started barking when Nick came running out the door.  She got an extra treat the next day.

There was blood everywhere!  The right side of my face looked like I had been drug across the street.  My lip swelled to larger than Angelina's.  We thought that my nose might have been broken.  Argh.  We cleaned everything up and I decided that I wouldn't be leaving the house for the rest of the weekend.  When my stepdaughter saw me, she winced and said it was hard to look at me (Insert joke here).  The worst part of this accident is that my husband and I go to one dinner dance a year.  That party is Friday.

Once Monday came, I had to go public with my face.  First of all, I am very lucky, nothing permanently harmed or broken.  All should eventually go back to the way it used to be.  I discovered 3 things from this experience.

1.  Falling on your face hurts!  A lot!  Sneezing is not fun when your face is messed up.

2.  Oh my gosh, I am SO vain!  I have spent so much time in the mirror and trying to care for the cuts and bruises.  Every bump has been examined.  Creams and elixers have been tested.  Lots of tears too.

3.  The looks people gave me when they first saw me were similar to the ones I got when I was at my highest weight.  People gasped!  These are not my friends or family, but strangers.  The insecurity that I felt when I was over 300 pounds came screaming back.  I did not want to see patients this week.  I didn't want to go anywhere.  I hated the "I am trying to act like this doesn't freak me out, yet it really does" looks from people I didn't know.

I was going to write this on Monday, but at the time I didn't know that I would be healing so quickly.  My nose still hurts and there is lots of pink new skin on my face with bruising, but I am better.  There is a huge difference in my looks from last Saturday to today.  I  have a party to go to tonight.  I am taking a deep breath and am planning to have fun.  Bruises and all.

THE FAMILY MOTTO

We have a running joke in my family.  The Jones family motto is: "If a little is good, then a lot is better."  This pertains to EVERYTHING!  If one tube of toothpaste is good, buy multiples and then you don't have to go back to the store as often.  If one sweater looks good on you, get one in every color!  If one roll is yummy, have as many as you can stuff into your mouth!

This is an expensive motto in every way shape and form.  My mother told me just last week, that she is on her last bar of soap from my father's stockpile.  My father passed away in 2003.  We are not hoarders in any sense of the word, though my husband might argue that point, we just want to make sure we do not run out of the things we love.  I would call us pre-hoarders.  Currently, I limit the products to buying a shower gel to store in the cupboard, the moment the last one goes into the shower.  When the kids were home full time, I made it two, as things would often disappear and I hate showering with my shampoo!

When it comes to clothes, I am the same way.  I go to the Gap and if I find a t-shirt I adore, I get one in every color.  I know I won't wear them all, some colors don't look good on me, but I will buy it, just in case.  Crazy thinking huh?  Well the Salvation Army loves me for my donations of never worn clothing!  Right now I am trying to amass a Tory Burch cardigan sweater collection, but they are expensive and I must limit my collecting to sweaters that are on sale.  Let me know if you see one!

The family motto as it relates to food.  Hmmmm.  Pre-Lapband, it was a mess!  A little is good and alot is more shopping for bigger sized clothes!  Seconds on everything!  Holidays were the worst.  Lots of favorite dishes are only made during the holidays.  Must eat as much as possible as it won't be back for a year!  Pants get tighter, etc.  My sister always says, "Lets not stop eating." A whirlwind of cakes, cookies, candy, creamy dishes, yum!  Then January hits.  We all are remorseful and we pledge to lose weight.

Post Lapband, it is much better.  During most of my banded holidays, I have lost weight.  I have had to learn that I can leave food on my plate and that is ok.  I use to think that I needed to take it home and eat it.  Now I know that I don't have to do that.  I actually lost 2.5 pounds over the holidays this year!  While there are loads of people going to the gym as part of their resolutions, I never stopped.  I knew that if I took some time off, I would have gained. 

What is your family motto?  Is it a healthy one?  Is it similar to my motto?  Perhaps, I need to change our motto to a more positive one.  All I have to do is shorten it.  Instead of "If a little is good, then a lot is better," it can be "Little is good!"

Do you have Toxic Friends?

Over the last few days, I have had several conversations with friends and family members about friends.  I guess with the year coming to a close, quite a few people seem to be re-assessing their relationships.  A good friend is very hard to find.  I have lots of acquaintances, but very few good friends.  I think you know what I am talking about.  These are the friends that if they got a phone call from me at 3am asking for help, they would just ask where I need them to go.  I have less than a handful and I consider myself lucky.  Way too often we lose the real definition of friend and allow some people who do not really care about you, make big decisions for you.  Not a good idea.

Now you are wondering what this has to do with weight loss?  Loads!  Think about it.  Are there friends that you call when you want to go and "pig out" on certain foods?  Do you have friends that are 'fat' friends?  Have you noticed that some people haven't been as supportive of your weight loss journey as you thought?  They complain that you are no longer any fun to go out with or that you are changing (and to them, not for the better).  These people are not your friends!  Friends support you!  Friends want you to be successful, even if they lose an eating buddy.   A true friend has your best interest in mind and not what you can do for them.

Perhaps with the coming new year, it might be a good time to think about your relationships.  Are some of those toxic?  Maybe it is time to count your blessings for the close friends you do have and put some distance between you and the Toxic friends.  They really aren't your friends.

Focus on the Priority

I love all the great food that shows up for the holidays.  I get so tickled at patients who put off their fill because of Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I must agree that it is hard to turn down aunt Edna's special cake that she only makes during the holiday.  I am just as guilty as the next person.  I need to lose a few pounds, yet I don't want to interrupt my holiday feeding frenzy in order to get my weight back to where it was 6 months ago.  There are white chocolate covered pecans to make and chocolate ginger cookies to consume!  Feed me, feed me, feed me!  Love the holidays!  I can be 'good' in January.

Isn't that how we all got big in the first place?  We noticed that we are gaining weight, but tomorrow is always the better time to start a diet.  Our pants got tight and we just bought the next size up, or better yet: stretch waist!  We 'tomorrowed' ourselves to unhealthy.  I think it is time to focus on the priority.  Health.  Last month at TLCEdge, Mary McNeill, our Registered Dietitian, presented a holiday eating program.  She showed us how we can enjoy some wonderful recipes and not have all the fat.  There was tasting and all around yummyness.  I have even recreated a few of her recipes with success.  If I can do it, anyone can.

So, I plan on enjoying the holidays, but within reason.  I will have a bite or two of the special, once a year, recipes, but I will give myself permission to NOT finish what is served to me.  I won't deny myself, but I certainly don't have to eat half the cake!  I am not going to get swept up with the excitement and eat and drink myself silly.  I will  weigh the same or less on January 1st that I weigh today.  I will continue to exercise throughout vacation.  I will pay attention to the scale and make sure I weigh everyday so nothing sneaks up on me.

Will you join me in a 'no gain' Christmas?

THE 'WEIGHT' OF IT ALL

"Weigh yourself once a week" is one of the most important rules we have for weight loss surgery patients, band or sleeve.  I ask pre-op patients to tell me how often they weigh themselves and almost every time, they state that they don't even own a scale!  This is not good.  I believe that many of us get up in weight because we don't weigh.  We don't pay attention.  It is easier to wear the "fat" jeans or the stretchy pants.  Before you know it, we are in trouble.

At TLCEdge, we want the patient to weigh once a week during weight loss.  It is awfully tempting to jump on the scale several times a day when you are losing weight.  At one point, I was weighing after every bathroom break, just to see if I lost any more.  This can drive you a bit bonkers.  Going to the other extreme and not weighing at all is a wrong step as well.  If you don't weigh, then how will you know where you are in your progress?  We tell banded patients, when the scale says the same number as last week, and you are adding food, you should book a fill.  Weighing is very important to stay on target.

Once you are at goal, the scale plays a very important role in your life.  No one wants to go back to their heavy weight.  If you weigh everyday, then you will be on top of any potential problems that may come your way.  I have my scale in front of my underwear drawer.  I must step on the scale in order to get my underwear.  This keeps me responsible for where I am in my progress.  I encourage people to mark their scales with a 5 and 10 pound mark.  Women will naturally go up and down a few pounds every month, but if you have the scale marked, you will know when it might be going from bloating to gaining.

If you don't own one, go get one.  Tanita makes a good scale.  There are many reasonably priced ones on the market.  It doesn't have to be a fancy scale, just one that will keep track of your weight.  Get on it once a week if you are losing and everyday if you are at goal.  Pay attention! 

Don't Gobble Gobble it all up!

The holiday season is upon us!  Here are some helpful hints to help you survive an Banded or Sleeved holiday! 
COOKING
Are you the chef?  Here are some tips.
1. Eat before you start cooking.
2. Designate a taster and taste only if you think you must.
3. If cooking is a family event, choose a task that involves something you would not be tempted to eat.  Make the rolls.  Clean the pots and pans.  You will burn a few calories along the way.
DINNER
1. Be Realistic!  You can't eat like before, so don't even try.  Take little bits, not huge spoonfuls.  Serve yourself with a teaspoon and not the large serving spoon.  Have a bite of everything, but just a bite.
2. If possible, serve yourself from a salad plate.  You will feel like you are eating more.
3. Go slow and chew well.  You do not need to track with everyone to hurry up and get seconds.  Go slow, you won't be needing seconds this year.  Cut your food into nickel sized bites so you can enjoy pleasant conversation.
4. If your family is like mine, every conversation is centered around the food.  Expand your horizons this year.  Read the paper and watch the news before the dinner.  Come up with interesting tidbits to pass along.  Think about who will be sitting at your table.  Ask them questions about themselves.  Listen.  You will be amazed at what you will learn.
EMOTIONAL
1. If a family member seems overly concerned with every morsel of food you are eating or if someone tells you that they see no weight loss, then explain to them that this is a process.  You are doing exactly what your Doctor wants you to do.  Thank them for their concern, but remind them that this is your adventure and you will be fine.
2. Have fun!  Don't stress!  If it ever gets to be too much, make yourself useful in the kitchen.  I have washed many plates in the past to avoid difficult situations.

The best part about a banded or sleeved holiday?  We usually lose weight!
Happy Thanksgiving!