Confessions of the Band!

Lately I haven't met a carb I haven't liked.  For the past 6 weeks, I have had every kind of bread, potato and sweet I could find!  Why might you ask?  Well, I got some fluid out of my lapband. 

My band has always been stress reactive.  The moment I am dealing with something tough, my band gets even tighter.  No big life changing events here, but a bunch of little events caused my band to tighten up and I wasn't getting sleep.  You can't go without sleep...it can quite literally make you crazy.

So, I did the smart thing and went to get an unfill.  Then I decided to have a little more taken out than normal.  I wanted to take a holiday.  I developed my taste for carbs again.  I loved every minute of it...until my pants got too tight. 

Reality check.  I don't want to gain back all my weight.  I can tell not only in my clothes, but in my breathing and in my workouts that I have too much weight on my body to be healthy.  So, I made the call and by the time you see this, the fluid will be back in.

I have had my band for almost 15 years.  I have been successful and of normal weight for 13 of those years.  I have worked in weight loss in one form or another for those 13 years.  So, why am I confessing this bump in my healthy weight and not just losing it and being 'the success story' without you ever knowing about this?  Because I am human.  I needed to do what is right for me.  The point I am trying to make is that it is ok to deviate from your path once in awhile, but always keep it in sight and be sure to get back on.  Don't get lost and lose your focus.

I am getting back on the bandwagon.  I am also paying attention to my hunger scale and only eating when I am hungry. 

Do you need to re-focus?  Let's do this people!  www.losinggracefully.com

This picture totally cracks me up!  These are my dogs, Molly and Stu at the dog park.  Molly is the one with her tongue hanging out, the joyful look on her face and her paws in the water bowl.  Poor Stu is the one with the nasty glare.  What you don't see is that Molly has the ball and has placed it into the water bowl.  Stu, being the dutiful brother, is patiently waiting for her to allow him to grab the ball and bring it to me.

I learn alot from these dogs.  Molly is 2 years younger, loves to counter surf and always full of energy.  Stu is my little gentleman. He takes care of his sister.  He has wonderful manners but is all about the ball.  He is focused.  He lives for our daily dog park visits. 

Each day, Stu will run into the park and check out every ball in order to find the "ball of the day".  No other ball will do.  If Molly catches the ball, he will follow her until she gives it to him.  If another dog steals the ball, he will not get aggressive.  He will wait until they lose interest.  Then he grabs it and brings it to me.  When I am throwing the ball, Stu is completely in the moment.  Nothing exists outside of that tennis ball.  No matter what else is going on at the park, he won't get involved.  The ball is king.  I am amazed at his ability to tune out all distractions and concentrate on what he finds important.

I wish I had such focus!  Often I find myself getting muddled in the brain due to having too many things going on at the same time.  The important things get mixed in with the trivial events an instead of doing one thing well, many things get done half assed.  I need to focus like Stu.  He does one thing and he does it very well. 

The Holiday Shovel and Scoop!

Tis the season for loads of parties, luncheons, get togethers, etc.  It is a wonderful time to catch up with friends and family that we only see during the holiday season.  Unfortunately, we spend a bunch of time stuffing our faces with yummy foods and festive frosty adult beverages at these events and pack on the pounds.

It is so easy to have that extra glass of wine or not pay attention to the cookies, cakes and candies during events.  Well, I am telling you now, PAY ATTENTION!  Those calories consumed during mindless eating, are the ones that will add the extra pounds to your body.  Then it either starts a shame spiral or adds extra workout activity to your January schedule.

When you are at a party or festive event, enjoy your food, but only eat until you are full.  Think about what is going into your mouth.  Last week, I was at dinner with my husband.  He began shoveling some delicious truffle mac n cheese into his mouth.  I asked him why he was doing this?  He said it tasted wonderful.  Then I asked if he was really tasting it while he was eating so fast.  He thought about it and said no.  He then slowed down and enjoyed the yummy treat.

My father use to tell me when I was eating something fast, "Slow down so you can taste the vanilla."
He was so right.  So, my advice to you this season is to enjoy your treats, but go slow and really taste it.  You might notice you eat less and love it more.  And perhaps you won't be spending extra time in the gym trying to lose the holiday weight.

Pity Party of One

I notice that I have gained about 5 pounds lately.  Now, I just lost my dog, so I could certainly blame the gain on mourning.  To me that is a cop out.  I am a weight loss coach, I know better.  So, sitting here with a blank page before me, I decided it is time to forgive.

I really wanted this summer to be fantastic.  Instead, it totally sucked.  I took a class that would change my life, but it was stressful and overwhelming.  The work was completely different than what I knew before, therefore I had to change everything about how I worked with clients.  That is SO hard.  Then I had a series of family issues.  Some sad, some horrifying, some frustrating.  These issues are still going on, and I need to get comfortable with them.

The stress of the summer gave me shingles.  Not fun at all.  Then there is the West Nile situation.  I am scared to be outside for more than a few minutes.  Oh, I turned 50!  Wanted to be so excited about it, but so far, phooey!  The final smack in my face, my dog had to be put down last week. I am exhausted.  I think I am cursed and I need to have some sort of exorcism.

Well today I am saying enough!  Whatever funky cloud I have been under needs to go away.  No more the victim.  I don't want to feel bad, in pain, anger, or fat.  Back to juicing.  I have been exercising a lot, but I will focus more.  I will forgive myself and those around me.  I will start laughing more and worrying less.  I will get my final certification for coaching.  I will move mountains in my life so others can move mountains in theirs.

Have you had a crummy summer?  Want to join me in a Spectacular Fall?

She's Gone

Yesterday, our 14+ year old Labrador, Cinderella, passed away.  My heart is broken.  She was a wonderful dog.  She came into my life 8 years ago.  When I was dating my now husband, she greeted me at the door, the first time I came to his house.  She had a tail that turned circles and the tail started spinning when he opened the door.  He warned me that she would bark at me as she does that to everyone.  Cyndi didn't bark.  All the kids seemed shocked that she remained silent.  I patted her on the head and a relationship was born.

Cyndi was a unique dog.  Along with the helicopter tail, she would smile at you whenever you came through the door.  It was hilarious!  It almost looked as though she was baring her teeth, except it would totally slide into a smile.  She had a really scary bark too.  I always felt safe when it was just the two of us.  She could even catch flies!  So cool.  Over the years she became my best friend.  She knew all my secrets and still loved me.  When I walked through the door, she always acted like I was the most important person in the world.  The tail would circle and the smile would be there.

We had to put her down due to her developing cancer.  The last few months she had become my full time job.  She needed to be walked several times in the middle of the night and needed a lot of attention during the day.  I know we made the right decision, but it still hurts.  We were there holding her when she slipped away.  I cried like a baby.  This morning, I jumped out of bed and proceeded to go and get Cyndi's meds as I usually do.  Then I remembered. 

I thought her passing would be an excuse to stuff my face and eat away the pain.  So far, so good.  I went and exercised this morning and have pretty much stayed true to my normal eating patterns.  Everyday I learn more about myself and how I handle things that life throws at me.  I continue to move forward.

Good Enough VS The Best

Last week I cleaned out my closet.  I love my closet.  Years ago, we converted a bedroom and made it into a closet. The only set back is that I have to share it with my husband.  I hate sharing with him.  If I could figure out a way to get him out of there and in another closet, I so would!  Alas, I  will survive...

As I went through my clothes, I noticed that I have a ton of 'good enough' stuff.  You know, the clothes that look good, but not necessarily great.  An example would be T-shirts from the Gap.  They are fine, but I don't stop traffic when I wear them.  No brainer clothing.  I only have a few pieces of clothing that I would consider 'the best'.  These are clothes that make me look thin, young, tall and basically fantastic.

I noticed that there are some women who always look fantastic.  It seems they only wear what is best for them.  I want to be them,  I think I am going to try to do that.  I would rather have less clothes and know that every piece will present me at my best than have a ton of clothing that makes me look ok.

What do you do that is just good enough and not the best? 

You Have My Attention!

Society is constantly pushing us.  Do more, push farther, you must multi-task.  Friends tell me how guilty they feel that they can't get more done in the day.  Everyone is exhausted all the time.  I know that I can't just watch TV, I must be working on my computer or cleaning something or otherwise being productive.  I feel like a big gerbil running on an exercise wheel.  Sometimes I need a good smack in the face to make me stop and really look at what is going on with my life.

That smack came in in the form of shingles.  Shingles is an adult repeat of chickenpox.  It is caused by STRESS!  It can be very painful.  Guess who is taking it down a notch?  

My one request for my birthday was to wake up on a beach.  So, we went to Florida and just relaxed.  This was very needed for the shingles too.  On the actual day, we went snorkeling in the morning and then had nothing to do until dinner.  We spent the day reading, sleeping, and watching the Olympics.  At one point, my husband said that he felt guilty not doing something.  I informed him that we were doing something, we were purposely doing nothing.  When we thought about it, we could not remember a day where we had given ourselves permission to do nothing.  It was AWESOME!

When was the last time you had given yourself permission to not have to do anything?  Make a date with yourself and do it.  Don't wait to get smacked.

Not As Small As I think I am!

Yesterday I was leaving a friend's house who has a circular driveway.  I drive a small car and thought that I could get around her car without driving on her grass.  Well, I am not even to the end of the block before she calls and tells me that I am not as small as I think I am.  Apparently I had driven over her grass.

We giggled about her comment, but it did make me think.  When we go through a large weight gain or loss, people get body dysmorphic.  I call it BBI, bad body image.  People think they are either larger or smaller than they really are.  Once I had lost 200 pounds, I found myself trying to shop in the plus size department.  I was no where near a plus size, but I thought those clothes would fit.  Of course when I was bigger, I would order size large from catalogues and would be genuinely shocked that they wouldn't fit.

For years after I had lost weight, I would look in the mirror and see the 340 pound person still in there.  It took me forever to get rid of her.  We can get BBI from just some slight changes in your body.  Lately, I have been working out more often and have noticed my body changing.  Things that were jiggly are now muscle.  I look in the mirror and am kind of shocked.  I am about to be 50 years old and my body is getting leaner and meaner!  I have to really look at myself when I look in the mirror.  I have to be honest with my image.  Are you honest with yours?

THE FAMILY MOTTO

We have a running joke in my family.  The Jones family motto is: "If a little is good, then a lot is better."  This pertains to EVERYTHING!  If one tube of toothpaste is good, buy multiples and then you don't have to go back to the store as often.  If one sweater looks good on you, get one in every color!  If one roll is yummy, have as many as you can stuff into your mouth!

This is an expensive motto in every way shape and form.  My mother told me just last week, that she is on her last bar of soap from my father's stockpile.  My father passed away in 2003.  We are not hoarders in any sense of the word, though my husband might argue that point, we just want to make sure we do not run out of the things we love.  I would call us pre-hoarders.  Currently, I limit the products to buying a shower gel to store in the cupboard, the moment the last one goes into the shower.  When the kids were home full time, I made it two, as things would often disappear and I hate showering with my shampoo!

When it comes to clothes, I am the same way.  I go to the Gap and if I find a t-shirt I adore, I get one in every color.  I know I won't wear them all, some colors don't look good on me, but I will buy it, just in case.  Crazy thinking huh?  Well the Salvation Army loves me for my donations of never worn clothing!  Right now I am trying to amass a Tory Burch cardigan sweater collection, but they are expensive and I must limit my collecting to sweaters that are on sale.  Let me know if you see one!

The family motto as it relates to food.  Hmmmm.  Pre-Lapband, it was a mess!  A little is good and alot is more shopping for bigger sized clothes!  Seconds on everything!  Holidays were the worst.  Lots of favorite dishes are only made during the holidays.  Must eat as much as possible as it won't be back for a year!  Pants get tighter, etc.  My sister always says, "Lets not stop eating." A whirlwind of cakes, cookies, candy, creamy dishes, yum!  Then January hits.  We all are remorseful and we pledge to lose weight.

Post Lapband, it is much better.  During most of my banded holidays, I have lost weight.  I have had to learn that I can leave food on my plate and that is ok.  I use to think that I needed to take it home and eat it.  Now I know that I don't have to do that.  I actually lost 2.5 pounds over the holidays this year!  While there are loads of people going to the gym as part of their resolutions, I never stopped.  I knew that if I took some time off, I would have gained. 

What is your family motto?  Is it a healthy one?  Is it similar to my motto?  Perhaps, I need to change our motto to a more positive one.  All I have to do is shorten it.  Instead of "If a little is good, then a lot is better," it can be "Little is good!"

Do you have Toxic Friends?

Over the last few days, I have had several conversations with friends and family members about friends.  I guess with the year coming to a close, quite a few people seem to be re-assessing their relationships.  A good friend is very hard to find.  I have lots of acquaintances, but very few good friends.  I think you know what I am talking about.  These are the friends that if they got a phone call from me at 3am asking for help, they would just ask where I need them to go.  I have less than a handful and I consider myself lucky.  Way too often we lose the real definition of friend and allow some people who do not really care about you, make big decisions for you.  Not a good idea.

Now you are wondering what this has to do with weight loss?  Loads!  Think about it.  Are there friends that you call when you want to go and "pig out" on certain foods?  Do you have friends that are 'fat' friends?  Have you noticed that some people haven't been as supportive of your weight loss journey as you thought?  They complain that you are no longer any fun to go out with or that you are changing (and to them, not for the better).  These people are not your friends!  Friends support you!  Friends want you to be successful, even if they lose an eating buddy.   A true friend has your best interest in mind and not what you can do for them.

Perhaps with the coming new year, it might be a good time to think about your relationships.  Are some of those toxic?  Maybe it is time to count your blessings for the close friends you do have and put some distance between you and the Toxic friends.  They really aren't your friends.

Focus on the Priority

I love all the great food that shows up for the holidays.  I get so tickled at patients who put off their fill because of Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I must agree that it is hard to turn down aunt Edna's special cake that she only makes during the holiday.  I am just as guilty as the next person.  I need to lose a few pounds, yet I don't want to interrupt my holiday feeding frenzy in order to get my weight back to where it was 6 months ago.  There are white chocolate covered pecans to make and chocolate ginger cookies to consume!  Feed me, feed me, feed me!  Love the holidays!  I can be 'good' in January.

Isn't that how we all got big in the first place?  We noticed that we are gaining weight, but tomorrow is always the better time to start a diet.  Our pants got tight and we just bought the next size up, or better yet: stretch waist!  We 'tomorrowed' ourselves to unhealthy.  I think it is time to focus on the priority.  Health.  Last month at TLCEdge, Mary McNeill, our Registered Dietitian, presented a holiday eating program.  She showed us how we can enjoy some wonderful recipes and not have all the fat.  There was tasting and all around yummyness.  I have even recreated a few of her recipes with success.  If I can do it, anyone can.

So, I plan on enjoying the holidays, but within reason.  I will have a bite or two of the special, once a year, recipes, but I will give myself permission to NOT finish what is served to me.  I won't deny myself, but I certainly don't have to eat half the cake!  I am not going to get swept up with the excitement and eat and drink myself silly.  I will  weigh the same or less on January 1st that I weigh today.  I will continue to exercise throughout vacation.  I will pay attention to the scale and make sure I weigh everyday so nothing sneaks up on me.

Will you join me in a 'no gain' Christmas?

THE 'WEIGHT' OF IT ALL

"Weigh yourself once a week" is one of the most important rules we have for weight loss surgery patients, band or sleeve.  I ask pre-op patients to tell me how often they weigh themselves and almost every time, they state that they don't even own a scale!  This is not good.  I believe that many of us get up in weight because we don't weigh.  We don't pay attention.  It is easier to wear the "fat" jeans or the stretchy pants.  Before you know it, we are in trouble.

At TLCEdge, we want the patient to weigh once a week during weight loss.  It is awfully tempting to jump on the scale several times a day when you are losing weight.  At one point, I was weighing after every bathroom break, just to see if I lost any more.  This can drive you a bit bonkers.  Going to the other extreme and not weighing at all is a wrong step as well.  If you don't weigh, then how will you know where you are in your progress?  We tell banded patients, when the scale says the same number as last week, and you are adding food, you should book a fill.  Weighing is very important to stay on target.

Once you are at goal, the scale plays a very important role in your life.  No one wants to go back to their heavy weight.  If you weigh everyday, then you will be on top of any potential problems that may come your way.  I have my scale in front of my underwear drawer.  I must step on the scale in order to get my underwear.  This keeps me responsible for where I am in my progress.  I encourage people to mark their scales with a 5 and 10 pound mark.  Women will naturally go up and down a few pounds every month, but if you have the scale marked, you will know when it might be going from bloating to gaining.

If you don't own one, go get one.  Tanita makes a good scale.  There are many reasonably priced ones on the market.  It doesn't have to be a fancy scale, just one that will keep track of your weight.  Get on it once a week if you are losing and everyday if you are at goal.  Pay attention! 

Don't Gobble Gobble it all up!

The holiday season is upon us!  Here are some helpful hints to help you survive an Banded or Sleeved holiday! 
COOKING
Are you the chef?  Here are some tips.
1. Eat before you start cooking.
2. Designate a taster and taste only if you think you must.
3. If cooking is a family event, choose a task that involves something you would not be tempted to eat.  Make the rolls.  Clean the pots and pans.  You will burn a few calories along the way.
DINNER
1. Be Realistic!  You can't eat like before, so don't even try.  Take little bits, not huge spoonfuls.  Serve yourself with a teaspoon and not the large serving spoon.  Have a bite of everything, but just a bite.
2. If possible, serve yourself from a salad plate.  You will feel like you are eating more.
3. Go slow and chew well.  You do not need to track with everyone to hurry up and get seconds.  Go slow, you won't be needing seconds this year.  Cut your food into nickel sized bites so you can enjoy pleasant conversation.
4. If your family is like mine, every conversation is centered around the food.  Expand your horizons this year.  Read the paper and watch the news before the dinner.  Come up with interesting tidbits to pass along.  Think about who will be sitting at your table.  Ask them questions about themselves.  Listen.  You will be amazed at what you will learn.
EMOTIONAL
1. If a family member seems overly concerned with every morsel of food you are eating or if someone tells you that they see no weight loss, then explain to them that this is a process.  You are doing exactly what your Doctor wants you to do.  Thank them for their concern, but remind them that this is your adventure and you will be fine.
2. Have fun!  Don't stress!  If it ever gets to be too much, make yourself useful in the kitchen.  I have washed many plates in the past to avoid difficult situations.

The best part about a banded or sleeved holiday?  We usually lose weight!
Happy Thanksgiving!