Time for the Big Girl/Boy Panties

This week I have been thinking about the people and things that help me be me.  We all have a ‘staff’ that helps us in our day to day life.  For instance, I am challenged when it comes to height.  Even petite pants are too long for me if I am wearing them with flats.  For a few months now, I have been turning the hem under because I have not had time to get to the tailor.  I did that Saturday.  Though I don’t see him very often, I am very grateful to my tailor because he uses his skill and helps me look my best.

I also consider my LapBand part of my ‘staff’.  It helps me be me and not a huge me.  If I follow the rules:

Go slow

Chew well

Drink 64 oz water

60 grams of protein

Exercise 5 times a week

No drinking and eating at the same time

I can maintain a healthy weight and feel really good.  When I do not use my tool, I tend to feel sluggish and gain weight.

Do you make good use of your ‘staff’?  Are you following the band rules or are you making excuses?   Sometimes people will ask me why everyone is not successful with the LapBand.  Some people refuse to use their tool.  Something keeps them from success.  A year ago, I ignored my LapBand for about 6 months and gained 30 pounds.  Ugh!  It was hard to look in the mirror and finally own up to the fact that I had become lazy in my maintenance.  I had to put my big girl panties on and face the music.  I did and lost 32 pounds!  Through the holidays, I ate lots of chocolate and fritos and gained back 3 pounds.  Big girl panties are back on and I am using my ‘staff’ to loose those pounds and help me to be the thinner healthier me..

It is a new year with new beginnings.  Are you helping you be you?  Are you making good use of your ‘staff’?    Grab your Big girl/boy panties and join me!

Stop for the New Year

I so wish I knew exactly where I got this so I can give proper credit, but these 30 STOPs are wonderful.  I am reposting as I am truly going to try to stop doing some unhealthy behaviors.  It is not short, but well worth the read.

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Shopping Like a Fat Girl

I love to shop!  If I could, I would make it a career.  Walking through stores and smelling the new clothes, seeing how they display them, and seeing what flies off the shelves gives me a thrill.  I adore it when I find a solution to a problem.  It is fun to see the newest thing.  The cream that will make you look younger.  The jeans that will make you skinny.  I love it when I get together with my girlfriends and we all tell of the newest thing each of us have seen.    My problem is that when shopping for myself, I tend to buy the first thing I see, instead of being more picky.

I believe this comes from my pre-band, fat past.  When I was big, there wasn't a huge selection at the stores.  If I found something that fit and didn't look totally awful, I would get one in every color.  Now I can afford to be picky.  I have lots of choices in clothing, but I still operate with the former fat girl attitude.

I do not need grab the first thing because it fits.  Go for getting something because it makes me look fantastic!  Less clothing with more substance.  One perfect pair of black pants instead of 10 pairs of black pants that just look ok.  I need to make sure I take everything I buy to my tailor to make it fit my 5'1" frame. 

Lots of us when we lose enough weight to be in regular clothing, kind of go crazy with the shopping.  We buy entire wardrobes of size 14 clothes, when we are only going to lose more weight.  Since we "settled" for so long, we tend to forget that a tailor can do wonders with fit.  A tailor can help you transition through sizes during yoru weight loss.  We also tend to buy some age inappropriate clothing.  I did it when I got to goal too.  It is great that you can wear a size 6, but at 55 years old, you do not need to wear a halter top and mini skirt.  Just sayin...

So, what do I want you to take away from this little rant?  First of all, don't buy out the store because you can fit into it.  Go for quality over quantity.  Dress for your age.  Finally, when you go shopping, take me with you!  Let me live vicariously through you!

America is getting Fatter!

I am so sorry I have not been good at blogging.  I promise to be better. 

I recently returned from a trip to Italy and France and I learned so much!  My husband and I were on an American ship for the first part of our trip.  The servings were huge and if you wanted more, there was always more.  If you wanted potato chips at 4am, they were brought to the room.  My lapband did alot of work during this trip and thank God it was there or I would have gained.  My husband, Nick, did gain!

Then we went to France.  Our first night in Paris, we went to visit Nick's cousins.  They had us out for dinner.  We were served off of smaller than dinner but larger than salad plates.  I have come to learn that they are called luncheon plates.  The plate was smaller and therefore, the portions were smaller.

We then got on a barge.  This was a french ship.  The meals we had were wonderful!  We were served smaller portions and in courses.  The portions were 3oz of protein with about a half cup of vegetables and about 2 tablespoons of a starch.  A salad was served with a cheese course.  At lunch and dinner, we were served a presentation of 3 cheeses as well.  Again the portions were small.  In the US, the cheese presentations would have included 3 hunks of cheese.  In France,  we were given a taste of the 3 cheeses.  About two bites worth.  Nick actually lost weight on this part of the trip.  There was never one minute that he complained that he was hungry and not getting enough food.  Since the food came in courses, there really wasn't time to ask for seconds.

So, what did I learn on this trip?  America is getting fatter.  Our plate sizes are huge!  It use to be 12 inches, but now most plates are 13 inches.  I promptly looked up luncheon sized plates on Amazon.com and ordered some.  Nick and I have agreed to eat off these plates when we are not entertaining.  I am also going to start to serve in courses.  It sounds difficult, but if it keeps us eating smaller amounts, I am all for it.  French people are thin and healthy.  I believe it is due to the smaller amounts and the courses.

Stay tuned and I will keep you updated on how our little experiment is working.

The Meantime

There are several times in my life that I have been in the "meantime".  The meantime is when you have finished a chapter in life and are waiting for the next chapter to start.  Does this sound familiar to you?  I read the book, "In The  Meantime" by Ivana Van Zandt years ago when I was waiting for my husband to enter my life. 

Currently, I am in the meantime in some areas of my life.  In other areas, I am in the thick of it and it allows the "meantime" parts to be OK.  My beautiful step daughter is getting married and I am in the midst of wedding planning.  I am busy! 

Everyone who is in the midst of losing weight right now is in the "meantime".  Compare it to having all your clothes be too big, but not wanting to buy a nice new wardrobe because you are not close to your goal.  Leave it to me to make a clothing reference! 

Sometimes it would drive me crazy being in the "meantime"!  You feel like you are in the starting gate, ready to burst forward, but you have to wait.    Argh! 

How do you get through this time with your sanity in tact?  Get busy!  Pick up a craft,  start cleaning out your closet and eventually every room in the house, or better yet-exercise.  Find something positive and healthy to focus on and DO IT!

Learn french, go back to school, do all the things you have been meaning to but haven't had a chance.  You have the time now!  You are spending less time in the grocery store and cooking.  Get out there and add something to your life!

The "meantime" will end.  You will get to your goal and if you make good use of your time, you will not only be healthier, but better all around.  What are you going to do while you are in your weight loss "meantime"?

DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?

A patient asked me yesterday, what is the biggest adjustment one has to make with the Band or Sleeve?
I answered, "You have to plan".

I currently have my band tight enough to lose weight.  When the band is tight, you need to be sure that you are getting enough protein and plenty of water.  You have to plan for that.  You cannot chug a gallon of water to make up for not drinking any liquids all day.  You have to plan to space your protein out at intervals and not eat a side of a cow in one sitting. 

Even with a sleeve, you have to make plans.  Small amounts is all you can take in.  If you eat too much, you will feel queasy and may even spit up.  Going slow and chewing well are very important with either procedure.  If you wait to eat until you are very hungry, you may eat too quickly and get an air bubble trapped in there or not chew your food well.

I hate to exercise!  If I don't have some sort of plan, I will find any excuse to avoid working out.  I have to think about what I am doing.  Remember, your body works on predictive behavior.  It wants to store energy.  Your job is to get it to expend  energy.  Therefore, one needs to switch it up.  Don't do the same thing all the time.  Trick your body into working harder for you and then you don't have to work out as much!

Any weight loss surgery is a commitment, but you need to make some adjustments.  I make a plan and stick to it.  I might have lunch plans or I might have a busy schedule and no time for lunch.  When I am busy, I need to take a protein bar with me or maybe bring some turkey and cheese roll ups to cover lunch.  I don't need to be too hungry and I don't need to look for options at Walgreens or 7-11.

So I plan.  I think of my day or what is coming up for me and I adjust accordingly.  So, if you are thinking about weight loss surgery, do you have a plan?

CHA CHA CHA CHANGES!

Change is good.  At least that is what I keep telling myself.  So many things seem to be happening all at once that my head is spinning.  I keep thinking that I need to step away and take a breath, but there is never any time.  Some changes seem to be for good and others, well, lets just call them learning experiences.

Change is stressful.  How does one handle stress?  Many people eat ice cream and sweets, others drink alcohol, and even others may find comfort in "comfort foods".  A few people may find themselves turning to some sort of pills.  Lately I have not been sleeping well.  I also have injured myself while working out and cannot do a normal workout.  I am frustrated!

I am trying to think of healthy things I can do to alleviate stress.  Exercising is out for the moment as I need to rehab my various injuries.  Reading isn't helping.  I spend so much time worrying about my future.  A friend of mine told me that whatever is going to ahppen, will happen.  She is right.  I can't control what other people do, but I can control what I do.

I need to think of my future and the choices I have available to me.  No more worrying about the things I have no control over.  Concentrate on relaxing when not working and trying to get more sleep.  I am open to any suggestions on how to handle change and stress.  Thoughts?