Words Hurt!

Recently, an ugly memory from my youth jumped up and slapped me full on the face.  I hadn't thought about it for years and then all of the sudden, wham!

From age 8 to 17, I went to Nakanawa, an all girls camp in Tennessee.  The camp was 7 weeks long. This is what was done in the summer.  It wasn't an option to not go.  Most of my friends went to a 2 week camp and then had fun by the pool for the rest of the summer.  I was always so jealous!

I thought I loved camp, but I was never a special camper.  I wasn't really good at any sport.  I was one of the members of Octet (which was kind of a big deal), but that was singing and not sports.  I never really fit in.

I made the best of my situation.  I grew up at camp.  I learned manners, how to play many sports, and how to live in the same room with 10 or more people.

Every year in the fall, the camp owner would come around and show movies from the previous summer.  It was always fun to see yourself on film (this was before videos and the fact that everyone can be in their own movie via smart phone today). 

After my final year, I went to the movie.  The owner was handing out applications to some of the other girls asking them to come back as counselors for the next year.  I mentioned that I might be interested in an application and she laughed in my face!  She said "You?  Why would you want to come back?"  I was mortified.

Needless to say, I was never a counselor.  For years I ruminated over her laughing at me.  I tried to figure out what it meant.  What had I done to bring on that response?  This was someone that I admired.  Was I a horrible camper?  What was wrong with me?

I had forgotten about this incident until a few weeks ago.  It's always icky when you remember something negative from your past.  Sometimes it can release your inner "mean girl" and cause you to flog yourself for ridiculously long periods of time.  This time my mean girl didn't get a chance to pull out her whips and chains.  I am no longer that young girl who just wanted to be a part of a group.  I like who I am and what I do. 

I release that negative experience into the past.   Those words cannot hurt or haunt me anymore.  Do you have some experiences that continue to haunt you?  Can your "mean girl" appear and smack you around?

Let's talk about it.  www.losinggracefully.com

Stepmoms Hurt Too

One of the hardest things I deal with, being a stepmother to 5 now adult children, is how to help when someone is hurting.  My mama instincts are to grab them and hold them just like my mother would do when tough grown up things would happen.  As a stepmother, most times, there is not an invite to do the mama bear thing.  You have to make the right choice.  Say the right words.  Listen.

Several of the kids have had some growing pains the past few months.  These are things that happen to young adults.  I clearly remember my 20's and how hard everything was.  The adjustment from school, where there were holidays, to work, where they expected you to show up all the time and on time, was just plain awful.  The real world is a rude awakening.   When my nephew graduated from college, he kept saying it was the worst day of his life.  We all thought it was hilarious, but I believe he was speaking the truth.  Reality bites!

Sometimes kids, whether you are the parent or the step parent, do not want to share what they are going through.  This is where you have to have patience and prepare to pray A LOT to you maker.  You know they are hurting but you can do nothing.  Rough place to be.  You might want to just check in with them and let them know you are around and available to listen if they want to talk.  Eventually they will tell you.  In the meantime, don't find a reason to eat a load of Ben and Jerry's while you are waiting for them to call. That will open up another issue!

50 And Finding My Way!

I have been crazy busy since my last post.  I think I found a great way to mix my coaching skills with my love of organizing things.

It is official!  My friend Rene and I have opened Organize Me DFW!  Check us out on www.organizemedfw.com

We create space!  We go into your home and can organize your closet, office, or your entire home.  This has been crazy!  Rene and I have done this for fun for awhile and once we decided to move forward as an actual business, the floodgates opened!  I still love weight loss coaching, but organizing fits well into my life!

Rene and I help you get rid of the things that weigh you down!  We have helped empty nesters and those that are downsizing.  We work really well with seniors!  People hold onto things way longer than they should.  Having us work with you helps you to release those items back into the world.  Time for someone else to enjoy them.  You may want to donate your items.  Perhaps there are some items that you would like to be resold.  We can help you decide.

The most important thing we do?  We sign a confidentiality contract.  Your stuff is no one's business.  We are ready to organize your home!  Give us a call 214-243-0840.

Awesome Women!

I had the privilege of attending a working retreat the other weekend in Savannah, Georgia.  I am currently in a class with the women in this picture.  I had spoken with them on the phone, but had never met any of them face to face.

It was remarkable!  For three days I was with twelve amazing women.  We learned, we laughed, we cried.  I am bursting with ideas for business.  It is easy to come up with new things when you are in a supportive atmosphere.

The picture is one of the unusual exercises we did.  We were to write an uplifting message on a piece of poster board.  We had to take our message through a large (very active) park.  Then we were told to stand on a busy corner of the street with these messages and see if we could get cars to honk.  Yikes!  I am one to put myself out there, but not one to put myself WAY out there.

You know the feeling you have when you are driving and see people with poster boards?  I always think "Ugh!  Make it through the light, I don't want to deal with their posters and whatever slogans they yell or crap they are trying to sell."  When you think about it, usually posters are negative or they are trying to sell you the best thing since sliced bread.

Our posters were positive. We were not selling a single thing. I loved watching the faces of people who were driving up to our group.  At first, it was negative, the "oh no" face.  Then their expressions transfer to the "What?" confusion face.  Finally, once the messages were read, we saw lots of smiles and got many honks.  Often people asked what we were doing.  When we told them we were just spreading good thoughts, the answer was always positive.  It was fun!

I learned so much by standing on the corner.  People are not used to positive statements without cost.  That is hugely wrong.  We need to encourage others and often.  Maybe not on the street, but at every chance you get.  Then again, the street corner hit many people in a short period.  A positive thought will always make a difference.

Do you need help with positive thoughts?  I can help.
www.cynthiaokelly.com

 

This picture totally cracks me up!  These are my dogs, Molly and Stu at the dog park.  Molly is the one with her tongue hanging out, the joyful look on her face and her paws in the water bowl.  Poor Stu is the one with the nasty glare.  What you don't see is that Molly has the ball and has placed it into the water bowl.  Stu, being the dutiful brother, is patiently waiting for her to allow him to grab the ball and bring it to me.

I learn alot from these dogs.  Molly is 2 years younger, loves to counter surf and always full of energy.  Stu is my little gentleman. He takes care of his sister.  He has wonderful manners but is all about the ball.  He is focused.  He lives for our daily dog park visits. 

Each day, Stu will run into the park and check out every ball in order to find the "ball of the day".  No other ball will do.  If Molly catches the ball, he will follow her until she gives it to him.  If another dog steals the ball, he will not get aggressive.  He will wait until they lose interest.  Then he grabs it and brings it to me.  When I am throwing the ball, Stu is completely in the moment.  Nothing exists outside of that tennis ball.  No matter what else is going on at the park, he won't get involved.  The ball is king.  I am amazed at his ability to tune out all distractions and concentrate on what he finds important.

I wish I had such focus!  Often I find myself getting muddled in the brain due to having too many things going on at the same time.  The important things get mixed in with the trivial events an instead of doing one thing well, many things get done half assed.  I need to focus like Stu.  He does one thing and he does it very well. 

Straight From The Oval Office

Yesterday instead of putting out my blog, I snuck off to the Bush Library with a close friend.  I had only been to one other presidential library.  It was amazing.  President Bush was the president when our lives changed for good.  When we learned that we were not safe from terrorist attacks. 

The team that put the library together did an excellent job.  They handled the acknowledgement of a very sad and scary time in our world, with dignity.  My friend and I (and many others) had tears in our eyes as we read letters from people (not just dignitaries) and speeches from President Bush.

We are so lucky to have a Presidential Library in Dallas.  Regardless of your political affiliations, you need to put visiting the library a priority.  It is history.

They also have a replica of the Oval office.  Note the picture!  Me running the world.  Watch out!

Dancing With Bullets!

This is my year of stepping through fear.  To challenge myself.  This past weekend I did something I thought I would never do.  I went to training for a Concealed Handgun License.  For several years, I had toyed with the idea of buying a gun for protection purposes.  A friend convinced me to attend the class, then decide on a gun. 

We booked the class in January and the first date available was a 12 hour class on April 27.  The class was packed.  I am grateful to Mark at Elite Handgun Academy.  He made a long class fun and informative.  Before class started, there was a list of guns for purchase and I spent some time perusing over what would be my future gun.

The material was interesting and I never got bored, but as the day wore on, I wanted a gun less and less.  As a matter of fact, I began to dread the idea of going to the range and shooting at a human looking target.  Now don't get me wrong, I can shoot.  My family has a farm, so I know my way around a shotgun.  I have no problem shooting a snake.  In my opinion, the only good snake is a dead snake, but I digress.

Once at the range, I was scared.  I realized I don't like the thought of ever aiming a gun at a human being, even a paper rendition. During the qualifying test, I found myself shaking a bit and having to stop and take some deep breaths.  I got through it and passed!  If my family or myself were in a life threatening situation, no problem.  I pray that never happens. 

My take away?  Guns are scary.  I think everyone should get their CHL.  I now know all about gun safety and can defend myself and family if ever necessary.  This is the year of stepping through my fear.  I stepped to my edge and jumped.  I survived.

What can you do that will challenge you?  Want to talk about it?
www.losinggracefully.com