PERSPECTIVE

The last few months have been a bit crazy.  Lots of big things going on in my personal and professional life.  At times I felt like I was in the middle of a tornado!  Lots of situations beyond my control.  For someone who prefers joy and to see the good in every human, I was not happy.

I was trying to keep lots of balls in the air and the universe kept throwing more for me to juggle while insisting I dance and drink a glass of water at the same time.  No one can do that successfully.  I was tired and depressed.

While on the outside I looked like I was holding it all together, on the inside I was hurt and angry.  Why was this happening?  Does it all have to come at once?  It was easy to get lost in the crazypants that had become my life.

Difficult times can cause a loss of perspective.  Every situation began to grow in size.  My usual way of handling things is to find the solution.  I kept hitting brick walls.  I grew tired and whiny and all victim like.  Ugh!  I knew that I needed to go back and get some tools to handle all that was being thrown at me.  I went to my therapist.

Therapy is a great way to get the proper set of tools to handle all those crazy situations that make up life.  It gave me my perspective back.  There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist or a coach in order to move forward in life.  Many of you reading this have gone through life changing events.  If you don't have the proper tools in your pocket to handle these changes, things will not go smoothly. 

The fog has begun to lift and I am finding joy again. I want to share a small victory I noticed during this stressful time.  I decided my body wouldn't suffer.  I actually exercised more, not less.  I made sure I ate my protein every day.  I kept the sugar monster from joining the pity party.  These were things I could control about my situation.  In the past, I would have justified having lots of ice cream and no exercise.

    Find the positive, even in the roughest day. 
    If things get crazy, then see a coach or therapist.
    Get your perspective back.

Just...STOP!

 

Today I got notification on my phone for yet another highway closing for another fatal car crash.  All I wanted to do was scream!  I am so tired of these horrific freeway crashes.  I am tired of hearing that people have been shot, animals being abused, people stealing or POLICE OFFICERS being shot.  This is awful people!

So today I ask that you JUST STOP. 

Stop trying to read texts while you drive.  Stop trying to read books, answer emails, or even touch your phone while you drive.  You are not that important and you are not that special person that can multitask and drive at the same time.  Don't drive drunk or on drugs.  When you get in your car, put your phone down!  Pay attention to what you are doing!  Remember, you might be the safest driver ever, but you don't know about the other drivers.

Stop killing each other!  Have respect for human life.  Life is not a video game.  You can't start over and everyone gets up and back into position.  You kill and that is forever.  You can't undo it.  Life is precious.  Your life is precious! Respect it.  Don't aim to spend it behind bars.  If you need help, ask.  Ask your teacher, a fireman, a minister, or a policeman.  Ask me.

The police are there to protect you.  Stop killing them.  Don't teach your children to fear them.  Teach them to honor them and trust them.  Have respect for those that serve.  They literally put their life on the line everyday.

Stop hurting animals.  Look, I am not a fan of some of nature, but I respect it.  Except snakes.  Feel free to kill all snakes.  Ew.  Seriously, I hate hearing about tortured cats and dogs.  That is sick behavior.  If you know of someone who does this.  Get them help.  Call someone.  Do something!  GET INVOLVED.

Don't steal.  You may want it now, but once you get it, it doesn't feel good to have it if you stole it.  What feels awesome is if you earned it!  It makes those sneakers, that TV, or that iPhone so sweet.  We are an instant gratification society and that has to stop! 

Take a breath people!  Instead of being angry and negative, find something good in everyone you encounter.  Sometimes it is hard.  You might have to think that they have nice eyelashes, but think it.  Change your focus.  Lets all start paying attention and looking for the positive.  It will change your life. 

Ok, rant over

Champion Stone Skimmer?

This summer my husband and I went to Alaska with some of our family.  Now before I go any further, I just want to say if you haven't gone, go!  It was a beautiful place full of wildlife and natural wonders.  We were on a very small ship that was not fancy.  There was no lavish evening entertainment, no luxury spa services, and no multiple dinner locations on board.  We were roughing it according to today's standards.

 

There were even several days where our phones did not work as the cell service was spotty.  It was a chance to completely power down.  We were off the grid.  We loved it! 

During the day, there were lots of things to see and experience (note picture of husband and I in our Kayak fashions), but at night, there wasn't a lot to do.  There was either a lecture or a documentary in the lounge.  There was a very limited selection of DVDs you could borrow and watch in your room.  It did not get dark till about 11pm, so you could enjoy the Alaskan scenery on the deck.  Perhaps you would see an Orca or a humpback whale swimming by the ship.

 

Since there weren't tons of activities, we had to have our own fun.  One night we played games in our pajamas.  There was a ship's bingo night where mom won twice!  She won socks both times.  My brother-in-law and other nephew scored in the gift department.  We even had one night where we just wandered along the shore.

 

That night was my favorite night of all.  I learned that my husband is a stone skipper like no other I have ever seen.  He was flinging rocks and would get 15 skips from one rock!  What a delightful surprise.  I had no idea he had this talent.  This fall we will have been married 10 years and we are still learning new things about each other.  There is no box on the marriage license that mentions the ability to skip stones.  I had so much fun watching him do his thing!  Check out his fantastic throw.

 

My point to this whole post is that sometimes doing nothing is something.  The fact that we had to power down completely let us be able to have some simple fun.  When was the last time you had fun without using technology?  What have you learned about your partner, your parents, or your friends that you never knew before?  Perhaps it is time for a no tech weekend?  You might learn a lot about the ones you love and maybe something about yourself!

 



Seven Weeks with the Gastric Sleeve

 

As of today, I have had my sleeve for 7 weeks.  I should be able to eat anything and carry on with my regular life.  This is mostly true, but here are some interesting observations.

Alcohol:
Can't really do it right now.  The most I have been able to enjoy is about 1/2 a glass of wine.  If I am being completely honest, it is about 1/4.  I kind of force the other 1/4 down because I don't want to be wasteful.  I feel a little tipsy after a few sips and it just doesn't taste very good.  I am sure this will change in the future, but for now, not so much.

Meals:
I find that I eat tiny meals.  I still can't gage it very well.  I can eat a little less than 1/4 a cup in a sitting.  If I eat too much, there is no spitting up like I did with the band.  Now I get a bit of a tummy ache.  It isn't nausea, but kind of like an ache.  It will last about 20 minutes and then goes away.

Drinking/Eating:
Nope.  Can't do it.  Of course the rule is no drinking and eating at the same time.  Well, I cannot even think about drinking anything for at LEAST 30 minutes after eating.  If I do, I feel ridiculously full and for 10 minutes, I am burping. 

Exercising:
When you don't exercise for 5 weeks, it really is hard to get back into it.  Add to that the time change and it becomes a bit of a mess.  I cannot seem to wake up early as I feel like it is the middle of the night.  So, for the time being, I am working out in the evenings.  Getting back into it, I am sore.  Ugh!

Sleep:
Oh My Gosh!  Loving the sleep!  I did not know how much I didn't sleep until I had this surgery.  It is pure heaven!  My husband says that I no longer snore.  Bonus!

Face:
My face is much better!  I think now that my band is gone, my body is reacting in a favorable way.  My skin always looked tired and blemish.  I have noticed that there is no longer any break outs and I look a little younger.  Skin is healthier!

Honestly, it is not all sunshine and rainbows, but I seem to be adjusting well.  The best thing is that I am no longer beating myself up for feeling bad, gaining, and not sleeping.  The scale hasn't moved much in 2 weeks, but I have been adding food and have just gotten back into the exercise. 

I will keep you posted!

 

Goodbye Lap-Band, Hello Sleeve!

I have a new story to share with you!  It is a long one, so stay with me.  Especially you long time banded people.  I had always preached that the band was meant to last a lifetime and that fully intended to die with a band in my body.  I was an FDA Trial patient for the lap band and I working in the banding business for about 14 years.  I was the success story.  I dropped 200 pounds with my lap band and kept it off.  Well, that is until a few years ago.  

I started having issues.  I would spit up every night.  I usually could pinpoint what I had done wrong that day and promised that I would do better the next day.  Well, it happens for a few days and then that becomes a few months.  Then I started aspirating fluid out of my nose at night.  This would start about 20 minutes after I fell asleep and would continue at random times throughout the night.  I would wake up with loads of mucus coming out of my nose.  It was awful!  At times it would burn.  It did not matter if I had eaten early or late, liquid or solid, alcohol or none.  I always promised myself that I could correct this and would do better.  It had gotten so bad, that it was rare NOT to aspirate at night.  I was exhausted!  I wasn't getting any worthwhile sleep.  I had fluid removed.  I gained some weight.  I had fluid put back in.  I aspirated every night.  I had fluid removed.  I gained weight.  And so on, etc.

I got sick several times last year.  Since I had lost all the weight 15 years ago, I was never sick.  Last year, I had 3 times where my temperature was over 101.  The last time I ended up with pneumonia.  This was a more chemical type of pneumonia because it was due to all the times I was aspirating at night, fluid was going into my right lung.  That was over Thanksgiving.  I spent it in bed.  Scared. 

I am Director of Bariatrics at USMD Hospital at Arlington.  The surgeons I work with had come across so many people that were having issues with the band, that they decided that they would no longer place bands into a body.  They have done quite a few removals over the past few years and many band to sleeve or band to bypass operations.  They felt that there were too many complications with the band that made it old technology.  When I got sick at Thanksgiving, they all asked me if I was listening to them now.  I was.  At this point, I had gained back 50 of the 200 pounds I had lost.  I was the FDA Trial Patient.  I was the success.  I helped hundred of people get bands.  I was a failure.

The numerous fill/unfill I had under fluoroscopy  showed my band in perfect position.  I also had a CT scan.  It also showed the band in perfect position.  I decided to get my band out and convert to a sleeve.

I came through surgery well, but found out it had been a 5 hour surgery due to the large amount of scar tissue they had found.  I had web-like scar tissue all over.  Just to lift my liver off of my stomach, a process that takes about 5 minutes, it took them 1.5 hours as the scar tissue had fused my liver and stomach together. They had to cut the tubing in several locations to get the tube out of the body.  When this happens, your band, which is pressurized, loses all its fluid.  Mine did not.  They found my band was encased in scar tissue.  It had clamped down on the tubing.  No fluid was getting in or out.  So, when I got those fills and unfills?  Chances are, they were taking fluid in and out of the tubing only.  They had to pop the band in order to get it out of my body.  

My esophagus had sort of made a stomach for me since so little was getting through.  I am told this will go back to normal in about 4 months.  My stomach itself was looking good.  He said it was nice and small.  Yay.  Something was small!.

I am 3 weeks out from surgery and feeling pretty good.  I am down 25 pounds (half of the weight I gained) and not hungry.  Not one bit!  I am getting my protein in and my water.  I have to really follow the rules because I am in Bariatrics, but to be honest, they are not hard to follow.  I am actually getting sleep at night, which is awesome!

Ok, so here is my point: once I told some people what happened to me, all the sudden I am getting emails and texts from my longtime banded friends stating how they had to convert due to issues OR others are stating that they are HAVING issues.  

The take away?  If you are having issues, look into it.  If I had waited much longer, we could have been looking at infection and that would have been so much worse!  Get your band checked.  Be smart.  If your doctor is a doctor that only places bands, get s second opinion.  I can recommend 3 excellent surgeons here in Arlington.  Get it checked out.  Mine showed perfect placement.  They didn't know until they were in there, what a mess it actually was.  I constantly had a raspy voice.  I sounded like I always had a cold. My body was sending signals. I chose to ignore those signals.  If it can happen to me, it can happen to you.

Ok, I have taken up enough of your time.  No longer banded, but loving my sleeve!
Cynthia Jones O'Kelly

Change and Fear Go Hand in Hand

My LapBand is making me sick.  It needs to come out of my body.  That means surgery.  Dang!  I am not the type of person who likes to resort to surgery on a whim.  I have thought this out since I got Pneumonia at Thanksgiving.  I also added 15 pounds since the fluid was removed from my band.  I looked over my journal from 2014 and noticed I had been sick with fever 3 additional times.  It seemed like I was always dealing with a stuffy nose or some sort of sinus issue.


I don't like being sick all the time.  It interferes with my life.  Once the fluid was removed, I ate everything.  Pants got tight and my extensive wardrobe dwindled to just a few pieces that fit.  I was not about to go and buy anything new as I was not going to remain at this size.


On Tuesday, January 27, I am going to convert to the gastric sleeve.  I have done all the thinking and research and believe this will be the best step for me.  My surgeons did loads of conversions last year and once I made the decision, I have found that quite a few of my old banded buddies have had to convert to the sleeve as well.  Seems that I am following a trend. 


Change.  ARGH!  My life will drastically change for the next few months.  Currently I am on liquids prior to surgery.   I have already gotten through breaking the sugar addiction and am impressed that I didn't kill anyone.  Just a side note:  we really have way too much sugar in regular foods.  Eat clean people!  Read labels and know what is going in your mouth.  Low fat products usually mean added sugar.


I feel like I am getting a reset.  Am I scared?  Of course!  I trust my team and my decision.  It has been great getting tips and tricks from my patients.  They are so supportive.  So, stay tuned for a completely new point of view. 


Oh and if you could say a little prayer for me on Tuesday morning, I would be grateful!

Worst/Best Holiday Ever!

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday!  All the hoopla takes place on Thursday, leaving the rest of the week to catch up with old friends, shop and decorate for Christmas.  This year was going to be wonderful!  I had the whole weekend planned out.  Wednesday night we had our daughter's in-laws staying with us, one of my out of town bestest friends were coming for dinner, and Nick and I were celebrating our nine year anniversary.  Thursday was lunch for 15 people with clean up and relaxation for the rest of the day.  Friday was for decorating the Christmas tree and having Joe T. Garcia's with a Dallas bestest friend.  Friday night was all about my other out of town bestest friends and a good catch up dinner with them.

None of that happened.  Tuesday I woke up with shortness of breath and some fever.  Bed for the entire day.  Wednesday (anniversary day) had me feeling better but I decided it was best I work from home.  I got Thanksgiving table all set and proceeded out to lunch with one of my Dallas based bestest friends.  10 minutes into the lunch and I could not breathe.  Scared the crap out of her and me.  I ran out of that restaurant like my hair was on fire.  Doctor across the street.  Somehow I got there.  After a shot of steroids and various tests and a hysterical call to my husband, the diagnosis: pneumonia.

I don't have time for pneumonia!  I have people staying at my house.  I had people coming for dinner.  I AM HOSTING THANKSGIVING!  This. Is. Not. Happening. To. Me.

Well it did.  Life went on hold for awhile.  There was nothing I could do but let go and let someone else grab the reins for awhile.  I am so proud of my husband and my children!  Nick stepped up and pulled off a great Wednesday night dinner.  While I was laying in bed having my own pity party, my son, Brendan, jumped in and made his Ziti recipe (which is delicious).  The troops were not only fed, but fed well and happy about it.  The buzz from the other rooms had me tearful that I was missing a fun party.  I did get up and walk into the kitchen at one point.  I saw that every counter was covered with food and pots were everywhere.  I turned around and went back to bed.  When I got up on Thursday morning, everything was put up and the kitchen was sparkling clean.

I am most proud of my children.  Throughout the evening they kept checking on me, making sure I had water and trying to keep me comfortable.  There were several dishes for the big day that I had intended to make on Wednesday.  I heard them volunteering to make this or that.  My husband was distributing recipes and making sure they had the proper cookware and materials to make those dishes in their homes and bring along with what they had already agreed to make.  No one complained, they just jumped in.  Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. 

Now here is the kicker.  I didn't have to have pneumonia.  I got it because I was aspirating fluid into my lungs from having my Lap band too tight.  I knew that getting up in the middle of the night to be sick was wrong, but I figured I could handle it.  So to all my friends who have a Lap band, if you are having any issues at night, go and get some fluid removed.  There is nothing worse than not being able to get your breath.  I feel robbed of what was going to be a wonderful holiday.

I have always been the one to find the positive in every situation.  The positive in this situation?  My husband and I have raised some awesome children!

My New Addiction!

 

I have a new addiction: Online Yard Sales!  My friends will tell you that is pretty much all I talk about anymore.  There is everything for sale from door knobs to Dior!  People have even sold cars and homes via the online yard sale.  Now you would think that I am buying, but NO!  I am selling! 

It is wonderful!  I have been selling all our extra stuff.  I brought a lot of items into our marriage and have been storing it.  I have sold lamps, tables, shoes, purses, crystal, storage materials, and even a chandelier!  Pretty much, you name it, I will sell it.  We have deleted so much stuff that we now have empty drawers in the house!  I was up in our attic this morning and we actually have space up there!  Wahoo!

My husband has even gotten into the act.  He will be grabbing something off a shelf and he something will catch his eye.  Next thing you know, we are taking a picture and posting the item!  The best thing about online sales is that you don't have to sell a bunch of stuff at once.  You can do an item here and there.  No pressure!  If it doesn't sell, you can hold onto it for awhile or put it into the donate pile.  Currently, we are concentrating on the garage.

The people on these yard sale sites are very nice as well.  If you ask for a referral for something, in minutes, you will get 50 responses.  It is a truly amazing way to use the Internet for good for everyone involved.  Even my friends are getting in on the act.  I have helped some of my best girlfriends put things up to sell.  You should try it.  Almost every city or suburb has an online garage or yard sale.  It feels great to purge your life of the things that no longer serve a purpose in your life.

It is wonderful to have empty space in your home.  It is even better knowing that someone else is getting to enjoy an item that you owned.  The best?  Getting a few dollars in your pocket to do as you please.  What am I going to do with mine?  Well, my dog ate our window seat, so that will be my first purchase.  And my husband has a big birthday coming up...
 

What A Pain!

In December, I broke my middle and ring finger of my right hand.  During that bad patch of icy weather, I slipped and as I fell, I did the splits.  Luckily, I do this in my Bar Method classes every day, so there was no pain from that.  I broke my fingers trying to break my fall.  At first I thought I had jammed them.  I figured that the pain would go away after a few days.  Let me tell you, the pain was exquisite. 

 I had a lot going on with Christmas and our youngest daughter's wedding, so I pushed through the pain.  An advantage of working at a hospital, is I can't flip a quarter without hitting a doctor or a nurse.  I finally consulted a nurse who said she could tell by looking at them that they had been broken.  Since time had passed, I was told to wrap it for a few days and it would be OK.

It is not OK.  It will never be OK again.  I now have a way to mark when things happen in my life.  Now things have happened either pre or post finger pain.  They hurt all the time.  They hurt while I type this blog.  I wince when I wash my hands.  Shake my hand?  Hell no!  Needing the right hand to lift something or stop a dog?  Not happening without a small scream attached.

For two months I have put up with this pain.  It isn't the pass out kind of pain, but an annoying constant ache.  The kind where you want to slap something.  Hard.  Then of course there are times when the sharp pain comes because I lifted a glass or something silly.

Why might I be writing a blog about my injured fingers?  Well one thing is that if you see me, please don't try to shake my hand.  I adore you, but lets tap elbows for awhile.  After all, it is cold and flu season.  The other reason is that I knew something was wrong, but I just pushed through the pain thinking that things would get better soon.  I didn't make time to take care of me.

I hear story after story of people who have had weight loss surgery tell me they are having issues but they know it will get better soon.  They are choosing not to take care of themselves.  They do not put their health first.  Then they end up having to have another surgery or are diagnosed vitamin deficient and must spend a year getting back to normal health.  Are you having issues?  When was the last time you checked in with your surgeon's office?  Might be time to pay attention to the warning signs. Make the time to take care of yourself.

By the way, I can now tell the weather by the ache in my fingers.  Oh what fun! 

Newlyweds?

My life over the last two months has been one of complete chaos.  My plate has been full.  If I told you everything here, you would not believe me.  I will be writing a screenplay as it would be a perfect Lifetime movie.

When the grand life lesson teacher decides to give you back to back term papers, pop quizzes and projects, you do them.  I kept thinking "This too shall pass".  For the most part it has or at least life is moving in the right direction.

One of the neat things I am getting to experience is time alone with my husband.  We have been married for over 8 years.  During that time, we have never really been alone.  Someone was always living in our home.  Sure, we would get a week here or a week there, but never any length of time without someone residing there.

I am not complaining.  I love my stepchildren as if they were my own, but never having time with your husband can be difficult.  The kids have boomeranged so often that on the day one moved out, another showed up and moved in.  There are many times we felt like we were running a hotel. A few weeks ago, our youngest got married.  Husband and I were looking forward to finally being alone.  With the exception of a kid moving in for 6 days in January, we have gotten our long sought for wish.

Currently it is just us and our two dogs.  I love it!  We have a family room that before now was constantly occupied by one or more of our children and their posse.  We really have never gotten to use that room.  Over the past two weeks, we have taken over!  We watch TV, read and work on the computer in our family room.  When husband wants to go to sleep, no problem.  I can stay up and do what I need to do in the family room.  It is almost like we added on a section of the house! 

We are having fun too!  We are trying to see if we can hold off going to the grocery store for any major purchases until we have cleaned out our pantry and freezer.  We are having some creative meals.  It doesn't matter as it is just us!  Whoop!  When I return home in the evening, the house is just as I left it that morning.  Well, except Molly the dog sometimes tries to redecorate, but otherwise the same.

I am remembering why I married my husband.  He is hilarious!  We laugh all the time!  It is so rejuvenating!  I would guess that this is what most of you experience when you get married, before you have children. We are finally having our newlywed moment.  What fun!  It is nice to have the precious time alone.  I will treasure these days and greedily enjoy each one.

Hopefully, we have entered the peace and quiet stage of life.  Oh and if you need a place to stay, please don't knock on our door.  The Inn is temporarily closed for renovations.

What You Allow Will Continue

Yesterday I wrote "What you allow will continue" on my status on Facebook.  This is my mantra for 2014.  Quite a few people emailed me privately or spoke to me in person about these 5 little words.  Think about it...    What You Allow Will Continue.

Eating fast food: what you will allow will continue.

People making comments to you that are a wee bit nasty, yet you laugh it off: what you allow will continue.

People taking advantage of your time: what you allow will continue.

Choosing to ignore your health: what you allow will continue.

Being the victim all the time.  It is always someone else's fault: what you allow will continue.

Sitting on the couch watching Real Housewives instead of working out: what you allow will continue.

Get it?  We choose our present. 

So let's turn this around.

I will do some sort of exercise 6 times this week: what you allow will continue.

I choose to get more sleep and not let the distractions of work or home get in the way: what you allow will continue.

I drink water over high calorie liquids: what you allow will continue.

I have no time for toxic people: what you allow will continue.

I choose to put myself first so I can be a better person for my family and friends: what you allow will continue.

I make healthy food choices: what you allow will continue.

I am the person I want to be: what you allow will continue.


You have the power to make a difference in you and in the people around you.  I challenge you to move forward and make a difference in your life.
 

What You Allow Will Continue!

Dreams Do Come True!

Last week I started a new job!  Actually it is my dream job.  I had always wanted to be head of bariatrics for an entire hospital.  I am the Director of Bariatrics for USMD Hospital of Arlington.  Yippee! 

 

Lots of changes going on in the O'Kelly household.  Change is good, but change is change.  It is hard.  I have been out of the corporate world for almost 2 years.  Getting back into the swing of things is going to take some time.  I am used to having a fluid schedule and now things are a bit more rigid.  I do a lot of driving and am truly exhausted when I get home. 

 

People ask me what am I going to do about working out?  I tell them that my days have gotten longer as I now have to take the 6am class.  Trust me when I say that it would be so easy to let it go and sleep in but my health is a priority.  Exercise is important.  I don't compromise on that issue.  At least that is what I tell myself every morning when that dang alarm goes off!

 

Chores did not change nor did the needs of my family.  Husband has been great at picking up the slack.  We are a team and he really has stepped up to the plate.  I have had to become a better manager of my time.   No longer can I surf the internet and get lost for hours.

 

The positives?  I am making a difference!  They like that I am a weight loss coach!  It is going to be awesome!  Happy dancing all the way to Arlington every day! 

 

 

 

Problem Solver

I am a problem solver.  That is why I am a good life and weight loss coach.  I have the ability to see the entire picture and can help people move forward.

At times I have someone who says they have a problem, and wants to solve the problem, but they are clearly happier not moving forward.  They like being miserable.  They are living a lie.

Life will always be hard for liars.  They choose not to look in the mirror and accept the truth and move forward.  It breaks my heart when I come across one of these people.  They are the eternal victims.  They can't catch a break. 

What they don't seem to see is that they are the ones who can give themselves a break.  It is all up to them.  Their choice.

Each and every one of us has the power to change our own lives.  If you are a doctor and you don't like being a doctor, you can be something else.  You limit yourself, no one does that for you. 

So grab a mirror, look in and have a chat with the one who is looking back at you.  Make some decisions.  Solve some of your own problems.  Once you do, life can be amazing!

Confessions of the Band!

Lately I haven't met a carb I haven't liked.  For the past 6 weeks, I have had every kind of bread, potato and sweet I could find!  Why might you ask?  Well, I got some fluid out of my lapband. 

My band has always been stress reactive.  The moment I am dealing with something tough, my band gets even tighter.  No big life changing events here, but a bunch of little events caused my band to tighten up and I wasn't getting sleep.  You can't go without sleep...it can quite literally make you crazy.

So, I did the smart thing and went to get an unfill.  Then I decided to have a little more taken out than normal.  I wanted to take a holiday.  I developed my taste for carbs again.  I loved every minute of it...until my pants got too tight. 

Reality check.  I don't want to gain back all my weight.  I can tell not only in my clothes, but in my breathing and in my workouts that I have too much weight on my body to be healthy.  So, I made the call and by the time you see this, the fluid will be back in.

I have had my band for almost 15 years.  I have been successful and of normal weight for 13 of those years.  I have worked in weight loss in one form or another for those 13 years.  So, why am I confessing this bump in my healthy weight and not just losing it and being 'the success story' without you ever knowing about this?  Because I am human.  I needed to do what is right for me.  The point I am trying to make is that it is ok to deviate from your path once in awhile, but always keep it in sight and be sure to get back on.  Don't get lost and lose your focus.

I am getting back on the bandwagon.  I am also paying attention to my hunger scale and only eating when I am hungry. 

Do you need to re-focus?  Let's do this people!  www.losinggracefully.com

Polyanna? Why not?

Since I have become a certified coach, I have really noticed a change in me.  I have made a conscious effort to lift people up.  I don't really see the good in being negative.  It is a waste of time. 

My husband says that I am becoming a Polyanna.  What is wrong with that?  I would rather look for the good in someone than focus on the bad.  For as long as I can remember, I have had an inner mean girl that hangs out in my head.  For the last few months, I have told her to go *%#$ herself.  She has been quiet and I have not been happier.  Coincidence?  I think not!

I put this picture with my post because it shows love.  That's what it is all about.  Take a moment to find the fabulous in everyone you meet.  Sometimes it may be a bit hard to do, but trust me, you can find something in every single person that walks this earth!  So, get on it!  Join me in Polyannaville.  It is a beautiful place.

Words Hurt!

Recently, an ugly memory from my youth jumped up and slapped me full on the face.  I hadn't thought about it for years and then all of the sudden, wham!

From age 8 to 17, I went to Nakanawa, an all girls camp in Tennessee.  The camp was 7 weeks long. This is what was done in the summer.  It wasn't an option to not go.  Most of my friends went to a 2 week camp and then had fun by the pool for the rest of the summer.  I was always so jealous!

I thought I loved camp, but I was never a special camper.  I wasn't really good at any sport.  I was one of the members of Octet (which was kind of a big deal), but that was singing and not sports.  I never really fit in.

I made the best of my situation.  I grew up at camp.  I learned manners, how to play many sports, and how to live in the same room with 10 or more people.

Every year in the fall, the camp owner would come around and show movies from the previous summer.  It was always fun to see yourself on film (this was before videos and the fact that everyone can be in their own movie via smart phone today). 

After my final year, I went to the movie.  The owner was handing out applications to some of the other girls asking them to come back as counselors for the next year.  I mentioned that I might be interested in an application and she laughed in my face!  She said "You?  Why would you want to come back?"  I was mortified.

Needless to say, I was never a counselor.  For years I ruminated over her laughing at me.  I tried to figure out what it meant.  What had I done to bring on that response?  This was someone that I admired.  Was I a horrible camper?  What was wrong with me?

I had forgotten about this incident until a few weeks ago.  It's always icky when you remember something negative from your past.  Sometimes it can release your inner "mean girl" and cause you to flog yourself for ridiculously long periods of time.  This time my mean girl didn't get a chance to pull out her whips and chains.  I am no longer that young girl who just wanted to be a part of a group.  I like who I am and what I do. 

I release that negative experience into the past.   Those words cannot hurt or haunt me anymore.  Do you have some experiences that continue to haunt you?  Can your "mean girl" appear and smack you around?

Let's talk about it.  www.losinggracefully.com

Stepmoms Hurt Too

One of the hardest things I deal with, being a stepmother to 5 now adult children, is how to help when someone is hurting.  My mama instincts are to grab them and hold them just like my mother would do when tough grown up things would happen.  As a stepmother, most times, there is not an invite to do the mama bear thing.  You have to make the right choice.  Say the right words.  Listen.

Several of the kids have had some growing pains the past few months.  These are things that happen to young adults.  I clearly remember my 20's and how hard everything was.  The adjustment from school, where there were holidays, to work, where they expected you to show up all the time and on time, was just plain awful.  The real world is a rude awakening.   When my nephew graduated from college, he kept saying it was the worst day of his life.  We all thought it was hilarious, but I believe he was speaking the truth.  Reality bites!

Sometimes kids, whether you are the parent or the step parent, do not want to share what they are going through.  This is where you have to have patience and prepare to pray A LOT to you maker.  You know they are hurting but you can do nothing.  Rough place to be.  You might want to just check in with them and let them know you are around and available to listen if they want to talk.  Eventually they will tell you.  In the meantime, don't find a reason to eat a load of Ben and Jerry's while you are waiting for them to call. That will open up another issue!

50 And Finding My Way!

I have been crazy busy since my last post.  I think I found a great way to mix my coaching skills with my love of organizing things.

It is official!  My friend Rene and I have opened Organize Me DFW!  Check us out on www.organizemedfw.com

We create space!  We go into your home and can organize your closet, office, or your entire home.  This has been crazy!  Rene and I have done this for fun for awhile and once we decided to move forward as an actual business, the floodgates opened!  I still love weight loss coaching, but organizing fits well into my life!

Rene and I help you get rid of the things that weigh you down!  We have helped empty nesters and those that are downsizing.  We work really well with seniors!  People hold onto things way longer than they should.  Having us work with you helps you to release those items back into the world.  Time for someone else to enjoy them.  You may want to donate your items.  Perhaps there are some items that you would like to be resold.  We can help you decide.

The most important thing we do?  We sign a confidentiality contract.  Your stuff is no one's business.  We are ready to organize your home!  Give us a call 214-243-0840.

Awesome Women!

I had the privilege of attending a working retreat the other weekend in Savannah, Georgia.  I am currently in a class with the women in this picture.  I had spoken with them on the phone, but had never met any of them face to face.

It was remarkable!  For three days I was with twelve amazing women.  We learned, we laughed, we cried.  I am bursting with ideas for business.  It is easy to come up with new things when you are in a supportive atmosphere.

The picture is one of the unusual exercises we did.  We were to write an uplifting message on a piece of poster board.  We had to take our message through a large (very active) park.  Then we were told to stand on a busy corner of the street with these messages and see if we could get cars to honk.  Yikes!  I am one to put myself out there, but not one to put myself WAY out there.

You know the feeling you have when you are driving and see people with poster boards?  I always think "Ugh!  Make it through the light, I don't want to deal with their posters and whatever slogans they yell or crap they are trying to sell."  When you think about it, usually posters are negative or they are trying to sell you the best thing since sliced bread.

Our posters were positive. We were not selling a single thing. I loved watching the faces of people who were driving up to our group.  At first, it was negative, the "oh no" face.  Then their expressions transfer to the "What?" confusion face.  Finally, once the messages were read, we saw lots of smiles and got many honks.  Often people asked what we were doing.  When we told them we were just spreading good thoughts, the answer was always positive.  It was fun!

I learned so much by standing on the corner.  People are not used to positive statements without cost.  That is hugely wrong.  We need to encourage others and often.  Maybe not on the street, but at every chance you get.  Then again, the street corner hit many people in a short period.  A positive thought will always make a difference.

Do you need help with positive thoughts?  I can help.
www.cynthiaokelly.com

 

This picture totally cracks me up!  These are my dogs, Molly and Stu at the dog park.  Molly is the one with her tongue hanging out, the joyful look on her face and her paws in the water bowl.  Poor Stu is the one with the nasty glare.  What you don't see is that Molly has the ball and has placed it into the water bowl.  Stu, being the dutiful brother, is patiently waiting for her to allow him to grab the ball and bring it to me.

I learn alot from these dogs.  Molly is 2 years younger, loves to counter surf and always full of energy.  Stu is my little gentleman. He takes care of his sister.  He has wonderful manners but is all about the ball.  He is focused.  He lives for our daily dog park visits. 

Each day, Stu will run into the park and check out every ball in order to find the "ball of the day".  No other ball will do.  If Molly catches the ball, he will follow her until she gives it to him.  If another dog steals the ball, he will not get aggressive.  He will wait until they lose interest.  Then he grabs it and brings it to me.  When I am throwing the ball, Stu is completely in the moment.  Nothing exists outside of that tennis ball.  No matter what else is going on at the park, he won't get involved.  The ball is king.  I am amazed at his ability to tune out all distractions and concentrate on what he finds important.

I wish I had such focus!  Often I find myself getting muddled in the brain due to having too many things going on at the same time.  The important things get mixed in with the trivial events an instead of doing one thing well, many things get done half assed.  I need to focus like Stu.  He does one thing and he does it very well.