PERSPECTIVE

The last few months have been a bit crazy.  Lots of big things going on in my personal and professional life.  At times I felt like I was in the middle of a tornado!  Lots of situations beyond my control.  For someone who prefers joy and to see the good in every human, I was not happy.

I was trying to keep lots of balls in the air and the universe kept throwing more for me to juggle while insisting I dance and drink a glass of water at the same time.  No one can do that successfully.  I was tired and depressed.

While on the outside I looked like I was holding it all together, on the inside I was hurt and angry.  Why was this happening?  Does it all have to come at once?  It was easy to get lost in the crazypants that had become my life.

Difficult times can cause a loss of perspective.  Every situation began to grow in size.  My usual way of handling things is to find the solution.  I kept hitting brick walls.  I grew tired and whiny and all victim like.  Ugh!  I knew that I needed to go back and get some tools to handle all that was being thrown at me.  I went to my therapist.

Therapy is a great way to get the proper set of tools to handle all those crazy situations that make up life.  It gave me my perspective back.  There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist or a coach in order to move forward in life.  Many of you reading this have gone through life changing events.  If you don't have the proper tools in your pocket to handle these changes, things will not go smoothly. 

The fog has begun to lift and I am finding joy again. I want to share a small victory I noticed during this stressful time.  I decided my body wouldn't suffer.  I actually exercised more, not less.  I made sure I ate my protein every day.  I kept the sugar monster from joining the pity party.  These were things I could control about my situation.  In the past, I would have justified having lots of ice cream and no exercise.

    Find the positive, even in the roughest day. 
    If things get crazy, then see a coach or therapist.
    Get your perspective back.

Just...STOP!

 

Today I got notification on my phone for yet another highway closing for another fatal car crash.  All I wanted to do was scream!  I am so tired of these horrific freeway crashes.  I am tired of hearing that people have been shot, animals being abused, people stealing or POLICE OFFICERS being shot.  This is awful people!

So today I ask that you JUST STOP. 

Stop trying to read texts while you drive.  Stop trying to read books, answer emails, or even touch your phone while you drive.  You are not that important and you are not that special person that can multitask and drive at the same time.  Don't drive drunk or on drugs.  When you get in your car, put your phone down!  Pay attention to what you are doing!  Remember, you might be the safest driver ever, but you don't know about the other drivers.

Stop killing each other!  Have respect for human life.  Life is not a video game.  You can't start over and everyone gets up and back into position.  You kill and that is forever.  You can't undo it.  Life is precious.  Your life is precious! Respect it.  Don't aim to spend it behind bars.  If you need help, ask.  Ask your teacher, a fireman, a minister, or a policeman.  Ask me.

The police are there to protect you.  Stop killing them.  Don't teach your children to fear them.  Teach them to honor them and trust them.  Have respect for those that serve.  They literally put their life on the line everyday.

Stop hurting animals.  Look, I am not a fan of some of nature, but I respect it.  Except snakes.  Feel free to kill all snakes.  Ew.  Seriously, I hate hearing about tortured cats and dogs.  That is sick behavior.  If you know of someone who does this.  Get them help.  Call someone.  Do something!  GET INVOLVED.

Don't steal.  You may want it now, but once you get it, it doesn't feel good to have it if you stole it.  What feels awesome is if you earned it!  It makes those sneakers, that TV, or that iPhone so sweet.  We are an instant gratification society and that has to stop! 

Take a breath people!  Instead of being angry and negative, find something good in everyone you encounter.  Sometimes it is hard.  You might have to think that they have nice eyelashes, but think it.  Change your focus.  Lets all start paying attention and looking for the positive.  It will change your life. 

Ok, rant over

Champion Stone Skimmer?

This summer my husband and I went to Alaska with some of our family.  Now before I go any further, I just want to say if you haven't gone, go!  It was a beautiful place full of wildlife and natural wonders.  We were on a very small ship that was not fancy.  There was no lavish evening entertainment, no luxury spa services, and no multiple dinner locations on board.  We were roughing it according to today's standards.

 

There were even several days where our phones did not work as the cell service was spotty.  It was a chance to completely power down.  We were off the grid.  We loved it! 

During the day, there were lots of things to see and experience (note picture of husband and I in our Kayak fashions), but at night, there wasn't a lot to do.  There was either a lecture or a documentary in the lounge.  There was a very limited selection of DVDs you could borrow and watch in your room.  It did not get dark till about 11pm, so you could enjoy the Alaskan scenery on the deck.  Perhaps you would see an Orca or a humpback whale swimming by the ship.

 

Since there weren't tons of activities, we had to have our own fun.  One night we played games in our pajamas.  There was a ship's bingo night where mom won twice!  She won socks both times.  My brother-in-law and other nephew scored in the gift department.  We even had one night where we just wandered along the shore.

 

That night was my favorite night of all.  I learned that my husband is a stone skipper like no other I have ever seen.  He was flinging rocks and would get 15 skips from one rock!  What a delightful surprise.  I had no idea he had this talent.  This fall we will have been married 10 years and we are still learning new things about each other.  There is no box on the marriage license that mentions the ability to skip stones.  I had so much fun watching him do his thing!  Check out his fantastic throw.

 

My point to this whole post is that sometimes doing nothing is something.  The fact that we had to power down completely let us be able to have some simple fun.  When was the last time you had fun without using technology?  What have you learned about your partner, your parents, or your friends that you never knew before?  Perhaps it is time for a no tech weekend?  You might learn a lot about the ones you love and maybe something about yourself!

 



Seven Weeks with the Gastric Sleeve

 

As of today, I have had my sleeve for 7 weeks.  I should be able to eat anything and carry on with my regular life.  This is mostly true, but here are some interesting observations.

Alcohol:
Can't really do it right now.  The most I have been able to enjoy is about 1/2 a glass of wine.  If I am being completely honest, it is about 1/4.  I kind of force the other 1/4 down because I don't want to be wasteful.  I feel a little tipsy after a few sips and it just doesn't taste very good.  I am sure this will change in the future, but for now, not so much.

Meals:
I find that I eat tiny meals.  I still can't gage it very well.  I can eat a little less than 1/4 a cup in a sitting.  If I eat too much, there is no spitting up like I did with the band.  Now I get a bit of a tummy ache.  It isn't nausea, but kind of like an ache.  It will last about 20 minutes and then goes away.

Drinking/Eating:
Nope.  Can't do it.  Of course the rule is no drinking and eating at the same time.  Well, I cannot even think about drinking anything for at LEAST 30 minutes after eating.  If I do, I feel ridiculously full and for 10 minutes, I am burping. 

Exercising:
When you don't exercise for 5 weeks, it really is hard to get back into it.  Add to that the time change and it becomes a bit of a mess.  I cannot seem to wake up early as I feel like it is the middle of the night.  So, for the time being, I am working out in the evenings.  Getting back into it, I am sore.  Ugh!

Sleep:
Oh My Gosh!  Loving the sleep!  I did not know how much I didn't sleep until I had this surgery.  It is pure heaven!  My husband says that I no longer snore.  Bonus!

Face:
My face is much better!  I think now that my band is gone, my body is reacting in a favorable way.  My skin always looked tired and blemish.  I have noticed that there is no longer any break outs and I look a little younger.  Skin is healthier!

Honestly, it is not all sunshine and rainbows, but I seem to be adjusting well.  The best thing is that I am no longer beating myself up for feeling bad, gaining, and not sleeping.  The scale hasn't moved much in 2 weeks, but I have been adding food and have just gotten back into the exercise. 

I will keep you posted!

 

Goodbye Lap-Band, Hello Sleeve!

I have a new story to share with you!  It is a long one, so stay with me.  Especially you long time banded people.  I had always preached that the band was meant to last a lifetime and that fully intended to die with a band in my body.  I was an FDA Trial patient for the lap band and I working in the banding business for about 14 years.  I was the success story.  I dropped 200 pounds with my lap band and kept it off.  Well, that is until a few years ago.  

I started having issues.  I would spit up every night.  I usually could pinpoint what I had done wrong that day and promised that I would do better the next day.  Well, it happens for a few days and then that becomes a few months.  Then I started aspirating fluid out of my nose at night.  This would start about 20 minutes after I fell asleep and would continue at random times throughout the night.  I would wake up with loads of mucus coming out of my nose.  It was awful!  At times it would burn.  It did not matter if I had eaten early or late, liquid or solid, alcohol or none.  I always promised myself that I could correct this and would do better.  It had gotten so bad, that it was rare NOT to aspirate at night.  I was exhausted!  I wasn't getting any worthwhile sleep.  I had fluid removed.  I gained some weight.  I had fluid put back in.  I aspirated every night.  I had fluid removed.  I gained weight.  And so on, etc.

I got sick several times last year.  Since I had lost all the weight 15 years ago, I was never sick.  Last year, I had 3 times where my temperature was over 101.  The last time I ended up with pneumonia.  This was a more chemical type of pneumonia because it was due to all the times I was aspirating at night, fluid was going into my right lung.  That was over Thanksgiving.  I spent it in bed.  Scared. 

I am Director of Bariatrics at USMD Hospital at Arlington.  The surgeons I work with had come across so many people that were having issues with the band, that they decided that they would no longer place bands into a body.  They have done quite a few removals over the past few years and many band to sleeve or band to bypass operations.  They felt that there were too many complications with the band that made it old technology.  When I got sick at Thanksgiving, they all asked me if I was listening to them now.  I was.  At this point, I had gained back 50 of the 200 pounds I had lost.  I was the FDA Trial Patient.  I was the success.  I helped hundred of people get bands.  I was a failure.

The numerous fill/unfill I had under fluoroscopy  showed my band in perfect position.  I also had a CT scan.  It also showed the band in perfect position.  I decided to get my band out and convert to a sleeve.

I came through surgery well, but found out it had been a 5 hour surgery due to the large amount of scar tissue they had found.  I had web-like scar tissue all over.  Just to lift my liver off of my stomach, a process that takes about 5 minutes, it took them 1.5 hours as the scar tissue had fused my liver and stomach together. They had to cut the tubing in several locations to get the tube out of the body.  When this happens, your band, which is pressurized, loses all its fluid.  Mine did not.  They found my band was encased in scar tissue.  It had clamped down on the tubing.  No fluid was getting in or out.  So, when I got those fills and unfills?  Chances are, they were taking fluid in and out of the tubing only.  They had to pop the band in order to get it out of my body.  

My esophagus had sort of made a stomach for me since so little was getting through.  I am told this will go back to normal in about 4 months.  My stomach itself was looking good.  He said it was nice and small.  Yay.  Something was small!.

I am 3 weeks out from surgery and feeling pretty good.  I am down 25 pounds (half of the weight I gained) and not hungry.  Not one bit!  I am getting my protein in and my water.  I have to really follow the rules because I am in Bariatrics, but to be honest, they are not hard to follow.  I am actually getting sleep at night, which is awesome!

Ok, so here is my point: once I told some people what happened to me, all the sudden I am getting emails and texts from my longtime banded friends stating how they had to convert due to issues OR others are stating that they are HAVING issues.  

The take away?  If you are having issues, look into it.  If I had waited much longer, we could have been looking at infection and that would have been so much worse!  Get your band checked.  Be smart.  If your doctor is a doctor that only places bands, get s second opinion.  I can recommend 3 excellent surgeons here in Arlington.  Get it checked out.  Mine showed perfect placement.  They didn't know until they were in there, what a mess it actually was.  I constantly had a raspy voice.  I sounded like I always had a cold. My body was sending signals. I chose to ignore those signals.  If it can happen to me, it can happen to you.

Ok, I have taken up enough of your time.  No longer banded, but loving my sleeve!
Cynthia Jones O'Kelly

Change and Fear Go Hand in Hand

My LapBand is making me sick.  It needs to come out of my body.  That means surgery.  Dang!  I am not the type of person who likes to resort to surgery on a whim.  I have thought this out since I got Pneumonia at Thanksgiving.  I also added 15 pounds since the fluid was removed from my band.  I looked over my journal from 2014 and noticed I had been sick with fever 3 additional times.  It seemed like I was always dealing with a stuffy nose or some sort of sinus issue.


I don't like being sick all the time.  It interferes with my life.  Once the fluid was removed, I ate everything.  Pants got tight and my extensive wardrobe dwindled to just a few pieces that fit.  I was not about to go and buy anything new as I was not going to remain at this size.


On Tuesday, January 27, I am going to convert to the gastric sleeve.  I have done all the thinking and research and believe this will be the best step for me.  My surgeons did loads of conversions last year and once I made the decision, I have found that quite a few of my old banded buddies have had to convert to the sleeve as well.  Seems that I am following a trend. 


Change.  ARGH!  My life will drastically change for the next few months.  Currently I am on liquids prior to surgery.   I have already gotten through breaking the sugar addiction and am impressed that I didn't kill anyone.  Just a side note:  we really have way too much sugar in regular foods.  Eat clean people!  Read labels and know what is going in your mouth.  Low fat products usually mean added sugar.


I feel like I am getting a reset.  Am I scared?  Of course!  I trust my team and my decision.  It has been great getting tips and tricks from my patients.  They are so supportive.  So, stay tuned for a completely new point of view. 


Oh and if you could say a little prayer for me on Tuesday morning, I would be grateful!

Worst/Best Holiday Ever!

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday!  All the hoopla takes place on Thursday, leaving the rest of the week to catch up with old friends, shop and decorate for Christmas.  This year was going to be wonderful!  I had the whole weekend planned out.  Wednesday night we had our daughter's in-laws staying with us, one of my out of town bestest friends were coming for dinner, and Nick and I were celebrating our nine year anniversary.  Thursday was lunch for 15 people with clean up and relaxation for the rest of the day.  Friday was for decorating the Christmas tree and having Joe T. Garcia's with a Dallas bestest friend.  Friday night was all about my other out of town bestest friends and a good catch up dinner with them.

None of that happened.  Tuesday I woke up with shortness of breath and some fever.  Bed for the entire day.  Wednesday (anniversary day) had me feeling better but I decided it was best I work from home.  I got Thanksgiving table all set and proceeded out to lunch with one of my Dallas based bestest friends.  10 minutes into the lunch and I could not breathe.  Scared the crap out of her and me.  I ran out of that restaurant like my hair was on fire.  Doctor across the street.  Somehow I got there.  After a shot of steroids and various tests and a hysterical call to my husband, the diagnosis: pneumonia.

I don't have time for pneumonia!  I have people staying at my house.  I had people coming for dinner.  I AM HOSTING THANKSGIVING!  This. Is. Not. Happening. To. Me.

Well it did.  Life went on hold for awhile.  There was nothing I could do but let go and let someone else grab the reins for awhile.  I am so proud of my husband and my children!  Nick stepped up and pulled off a great Wednesday night dinner.  While I was laying in bed having my own pity party, my son, Brendan, jumped in and made his Ziti recipe (which is delicious).  The troops were not only fed, but fed well and happy about it.  The buzz from the other rooms had me tearful that I was missing a fun party.  I did get up and walk into the kitchen at one point.  I saw that every counter was covered with food and pots were everywhere.  I turned around and went back to bed.  When I got up on Thursday morning, everything was put up and the kitchen was sparkling clean.

I am most proud of my children.  Throughout the evening they kept checking on me, making sure I had water and trying to keep me comfortable.  There were several dishes for the big day that I had intended to make on Wednesday.  I heard them volunteering to make this or that.  My husband was distributing recipes and making sure they had the proper cookware and materials to make those dishes in their homes and bring along with what they had already agreed to make.  No one complained, they just jumped in.  Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. 

Now here is the kicker.  I didn't have to have pneumonia.  I got it because I was aspirating fluid into my lungs from having my Lap band too tight.  I knew that getting up in the middle of the night to be sick was wrong, but I figured I could handle it.  So to all my friends who have a Lap band, if you are having any issues at night, go and get some fluid removed.  There is nothing worse than not being able to get your breath.  I feel robbed of what was going to be a wonderful holiday.

I have always been the one to find the positive in every situation.  The positive in this situation?  My husband and I have raised some awesome children!